PAL CheckIn

Re: PAL CheckIn

• Mrs Nice member

  December 2012

  I'm sorry I haven't been posting lately. Zachary has been keeping me busy!  

  Where are you in your PAL journey? 

  Zachary is 10mo now! I can't believe how fast this year has gone. 
  
  What are some PAL challenges you have faced recently? 

  I have been really missing Ian a lot. Seeing how much Zachary has been learning really makes me realize just how much I have lost with Ian.

  Ever since Zachary has been born I have been struggling with the thought that I could never get frustrated or upset with Zachary or anything at all because I am so blessed to have him. Every time someone would ask me how I was doing the only response I could give was that I was doing great. How could I not be? I have Zachary here so I have no right to complain about anything. I would even feel jealous of my DH bc he is able to show frustration when Zachary is being fussy or doesn't sleep. I cannot allow myself to have a "bad" day. When I start to get over tired or frustrated I feel guilty about it and remind myself that this is what I wanted.

  Then last week I went to a parenting group. One of the mothers there had struggled with infertility for a long time. She told me that she struggles with the same feelings that I do. (it's so nice to know I'm not crazy! Lol!) Anyway, she told me that what helps her is thinking that she wants her DD to be able to see that it is okay to be upset and frustrated. To show her that no one is perfect and that is okay! 

  OMG!!! This hit me so hard! I would hate to think that I was teaching Zachary that it is not okay to be upset and frustrated! I need him to see that I'm not perfect so that he doesn't think that I expect perfection from him! 

  I am still struggling with these feelings somewhat but it has gotten a lot better. For the first time I feel like I don't have to hide behind a mask. I'm not perfect. That's okay. I'm doing my best and that's all I could ask of myself.
  
  QOTW: Do you have anything special planned for the holidays for your LOs this year? 

  I'm so excited for Zachay's first Christmas! I know that he will be more interested in the paper and boxes than the presents but it will be so much fun to just watch him! I I don't really have anything really special planned for him, but it will be wonderful including him in all our family traditions.  

  Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?

  Christmas! It will be busy and exhausting but I am looking forward to it.  

   

  

  

  
  

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• Heatherhah member

  December 2012

  Where are you in your PAL journey? My living children are 19 yr son, 4 1/2 yr old DD and 1 month old DD. It has been almost 15 months since we said good bye to our sweet Sydney Adriana!!
  
  What are some PAL challenges you have faced recently? Our little rainbow is looking more and more like her big sister in heaven and it breaks my heart so much. I miss my baby and wish she was here with all of us.
  
  QOTW: Do you have anything special planned for the holidays for your LOs this year? I take her pics with her Molly bear to represent her and a build a bear with Santa with my other kids every year.
  
  Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? I'm having a tough time during christmas I miss my sweet girl and wish she was here with us always.

  DS- Brenden born 11/13/93 Missed miscarriage on March 6, 2007 @ 9 weeks D&C on March 8th 2007. Riley Annalise born 2/25/08 ( 3 weeks early weighing 8 lbs 12.8 oz.) Chemical pregnancy 3/2010. Sydney Adriana born sleeping on 9/30/11 weighing 10lbs 3 oz at 38wks 4 days. Trinity Alivia born via c section at 36 wks 4 days weighing 9 lbs. 5.7 oz. She is our amazing rainbow baby!!! PGAL buddy drvst8

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