When are you telling?

bookworm982 · December 2012

Most of us on the board now found out about our pregnancies just in time for Christmas. Now the question is, when are you going to tell your news to others?

charmcity82 · December 2012

Hi there! I just found out and am thinking about ways to tell DH. I want to wait another week I think maybe to tell him over New Years? Any suggestions? Congrats to you!

spendsitwell · December 2012

I found my idea on pintrest. I thought it was lots of fun and a cute way to tell someone.

bookworm982 · December 2012

With my last pregnancy we told immediate family at 6.5 weeks after seeing the heartbeat on an ultrasound and told friends and extended family on Christmas Eve at 11.5 weeks. This time around we want to wait a bit longer.

We have three choices. Feb. 19 before dh goes out of town for 3 weeks. That will be 11.5 weeks again though. Around March 14 (we'll be 15 weeks) when dh gets home. However, that will rain on his twin's parade. His twin and sil are expecting a baby 5 weeks before us, so that is exactly when they should have their anatomy scan/gender ultrasound. Choice #3 is to be ornery and wait until 20 weeks for our anatomy scan. If I'm careful about how I sit when on Skype and what pictures I post on our blog, we could pull it off. I don't know if we want to wait that long though.

What do you think?

spendsitwell · December 2012

Not sure when I will tell everyone. My sister and sister in law are the only ones who know right now. I want to make sure I am out of the woods before I tell anyone else. Probably in 4 more weeks.

bookworm982 · December 2012

charmcity82:
Hi there! I just found out and am thinking about ways to tell DH. I want to wait another week I think maybe to tell him over New Years? Any suggestions? Congrats to you!

With DD I told him at the place he proposed to me. With this one, I wrapped the pregnancy test with a note under the tree. I second pintrest for tons of great ideas. I wouldn't make your dh wait a week to find out though. Can you do something cute tonight?

bookworm982 · December 2012

bump burp...sorry

carolyn6609 · December 2012

bookworm982:
With my last pregnancy we told immediate family at 6.5 weeks after seeing the heartbeat on an ultrasound and told friends and extended family on Christmas Eve at 11.5 weeks. This time around we want to wait a bit longer.
We have three choices. Feb. 19 before dh goes out of town for 3 weeks. That will be 11.5 weeks again though. Around March 14 (we'll be 15 weeks) when dh gets home. However, that will rain on his twin's parade. His twin and sil are expecting a baby 5 weeks before us, so that is exactly when they should have their anatomy scan/gender ultrasound. Choice #3 is to be ornery and wait until 20 weeks for our anatomy scan. If I'm careful about how I sit when on Skype and what pictures I post on our blog, we could pull it off. I don't know if we want to wait that long though.
What do you think?

if it was me, I'd probably do Feb 19th. We are in the same spot - wanting to wait a little longer than we did last time, but my SIL is also pregnant and is about 6 weeks ahead, will be due for her A/S around Valentines Day which is when we were thinking about announcing. Knowing my H though, he won't be able to wait that long! We already told my sister and her husband last night. They live next door and would probably get suspicious after turning down alcohol every time we see them, so it's just easier this way.

Singer987 · December 2012

I already told my family and very close friends. They were my support system when I had my miscarriage in October so I wanted them to know right away. I am waiting to tell others until later on when I see a heartbeat and know things are going well.

kje120 · December 2012

Hopefully not until 12 weeks.

princessvespa1 · December 2012

I just found out yesterday morning at 9DPO. I got a squinter of a line (so I'm being cautious and wasn't even going to post in here), and I showed it to DH. He said to let him know when the line is as dark as the control line. So, I'm going to POAS tomorrow morning and hopefully it's darker and then DH will actually see it without squinting. I might also pick up a digi tomorrow so he can actually read the words.

We will wait quite a while to tell, I think. With DS we waited until 10.5 weeks b/c we were going away with my parents and there was no way to hide it (not drinking is a red flag for us). I'm trying to think of fun ways to tell everyone. DS has his 2nd b-day in February - so maybe a big brother shirt on him. Or else, maybe Easter with a shirt? No real ideas yet. Like I said, I'm being cautious yet.

abatkins · December 2012

We have told a few close friends and family, but not made a public announcement or anything.

ljsmom11 · December 2012

I told dh immediately. We will tell close family after my first ultrasound, which will be when I'm 8-9 weeks. We will tell our friends and such at 12 weeks.

golfingdarwinfish · December 2012

I discovered a shadow of a line last Wed night, and an actual one last Thurs, but told DH Christmas morning. I bought a cute gift bag and added a book about fatherhood and a "my first golf bag" (plush toy by Gund- DH golfed in college and still competes, so I felt this was fitting), with a holiday card that said "to dad" on the front. Inside I wrote a message from "Pistachio", instructing "dad" to read the books by 9/3/13, Pistachio's EDD.

DH wants to tell our parents at 12 weeks, but I think we settled on when we see a heartbeat. I'm bummed we can't tell all the grandparents together, but mine retired to NC about 6 years ago, and DH's live in CT. i could ask my parents to visit, but I know they'll come up a ton once they find out and the baby arrives, so I prefer to go to them this time.

We won't be going public until at least 12 weeks.

RocksInTheWater · December 2012

It was so hard not telling my sisters over Christmas but I want to wait until at least my first appointment which is January 18. DH and I live between 56 hours from our families so I don't foresee us telling them in person.

RocksInTheWater · December 2012

That was supposed to read 56 hours, not 56!

hungryhippo · December 2012

Just my two cents - may not be right for everyone or even most...

Short answer: With my loss history, I want to share this news with close family much earlier than I ever thought I would. I want to be joyful about this pregnancy as much as I can and for as many days as I have to be joyful, no matter the outcome. Plus, so many of them are watching my every move for news it is really hard to hide it. We told my parents on Christmas Eve as soon as the "happy hour" festivities started.

Long answer: With my first pregnancy, we made it to 10w5d and we hadn't told a soul. I needed my parents bring me tylenol at 9pm in the evening because I didn't want DH to leave me home alone while I was having contractions. My provider kept telling me to expect pain and I was scared to get through the night without tylenol and I couldn't take anything else in case it turned out that everything was ok. We had to share the good news and bad news in one sentence and I regret never having shared the joyful parts of the pregnancy, because it was never "real" for anyone but us and that hurt deeply during the grief that followed. Even though they couldn't understand the depths of our grief, it was still better to have the support they were capable of giving instead of no support at all.

With my second, it was such a weird situation surrounding the BFP (weeks after AF, that wasn't really AF) that there never really was any joy to share.

I absolutely reject the idea of jinxing a pregnancy by telling others. It didn't work the first time.

We are taking this pregnancy one day at a time for now so I'm not sure when I'll tell other close family, but for those who we would share news if the worst happens, I prefer to tell them sooner rather than later.

Before loss, I thought keeping it a secret was best in case of a miscarriage, we wouldn't want everyone to know that we'd had a loss or that we were even trying at all. When it became our reality, we realized we needed a lot more support than I ever could have guessed. There was no way I could have tried to act normal around family following a loss. That's why many people are now on pregnancy watch with me and it just feels easier and better to be able to talk about it.

Sa039ra · December 2012

We told my parents and inlaws. We will tell siblings and close family after we see a heartbeat around 8 weeks. We will tell the rest of the world after first tri.

luciddreamer106 · December 2012

We told our families yesterday for Christmas and haven't told anyone else yet.

With the pregnancy that ended in miscarriage, we also only told our family because we didn't want to tell them in case we had a loss. This time around, I feel that I want to tell our very close friends earlier than 12 weeks. While we had the support of our family, it would have been nice for our close friends to be there, too. It was difficult spending time with them while we were grieving and them having no idea what was going on.

We'll tell the rest of the world after 1st Tri.

niecie_jeff · December 2012

I told DH right after I took the test. I was so excited that I told a good friend this morning as well. We will tell our families after we have our first appointment. I am making a shirt for my dog that says "I am going to be a big brother!" so he can "tell" them. Everyone else we will tell after 12 weeks.

anewmrsS · December 2012

With DD I waited until the NT scan at 12 weeks. this time I may tell sooner.

Lola104 · December 2012

Well, most of my family knows we did ivf. They don't know that I already tested. They know my beta is between Christmas and New years... So the questions are coming. We will probably tell them after our ultrasound at 6 weeks.

As far as everyone else and FB.... We plan on waiting until we know gender. With DS, we waited until after 20 weeks to announce.
With my twins, my water broke at 19.5 weeks and I spent 3.5 in the hospital. I really regretted telling FB. When they passed away, I had people I hadn't talked to since high school saying really stupid things. One offered to be a surrogate. Not the best thing to say to a grieving mother. I don't want to repeat that experience.

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