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Cat has Lymphoma and 1-3 months...

LoveEeyoreLoveEeyore member
in Pre-School and Daycare

When to tell the kids that she is very sick and not going to get better?

My Grandfather died a few months ago, then one of their goldfish died, then a few weeks ago we took the class hamster home because the school was getting new tiles over the weekend and unbeknownst to me it was very old and of course, it died while it was here.  They are sensitive to the issue, and one of my three year olds told me yesterday "When I die, Mommy, you can get another kid since you love having three kids."

I am afraid they are going to find her, that they are going to become scared that everyone around them is dying... ugh.  When would you tell them? 

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Re: Cat has Lymphoma and 1-3 months...

  • Littlejen22Littlejen22 member
    Wow, I am so sorry they have experienced so much loss. I would tell them she is sick now before she does and they find her. Good luck
    Jen - Mom to two December 12 babies Nathaniel 12/12/06 and Addison 12/12/08
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  • 74dragonfly74dragonfly member
    I'm so sorry. :




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  • smilejennsmilejenn member

    So sorry to hear about your recent loses. I think it's completely normal for a child to talk about death, especially when they have experienced the lost of loved ones. My 5 year old has asked if I would get a new child if he passed away and if he would be able to take his toys to heaven.

    As for your cat, is it likely that she will pass away in your home or will she have to be euthanized? Our golden retriever had cancer and we knew that she wouldn't pass away in our home. We started to prepare our children in advance by telling them that she was sick and that she was going to go to heaven in a couple months. It depends on your child though. My boys handled it really well. When I was a child, I was horrible at handling death with pets. It would have only caused me more stress to give me advance warning months in advance. 

    Hawaii
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  • LoveEeyoreLoveEeyore member
    Thanks all. This evening I had the cat back to the vet to follow up with our favorite in the practice, who has cared for DH's pets for 30 years.  He gave her 1 week to a month based on her breathing and severe anemia.  I am so distraught but have decided to talk to the kids in the morning.  It has been hard since DH has been out of the country through all this and I'm on my own.  I hope I do this right!
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  • LoveEeyoreLoveEeyore member
    image-auntie-:

    I'm so sorry.

    No real words of wisdom except that sharing a child-sized version of the truth worked well for us. DS is older now, but we lost his cat last month and are still really sad. I got a note from the vet today praising the care we lavished on DCat and our efforts to make a "death with dignity in his own home a reality". (not always possible, I understand) I couldn't read it without crying.

    Aw sorry about your cat.  Sounds like a classy vet.  I've taken to carrying her around in a sling and the kids are being so good. They are playful and rough with the dog and our 16lb cat who thinks he's a dog, but very calm and gentle with our little cat.   When I told them this morning  there was little to no reaction and I refrained from the gut reaction to scold at them for not caring.  I hope they handle it well.  I think we'll have to quickly get another cat because our other cat will be sad, I think. It really stinks- she's only 8.

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  • mrsjones06mrsjones06 member
    I'm sorry to hear about your cat & the loss your kids have faced lately. When we found out our 14 yr old lab had a tumor & not long to live we didn't say anything about it to my 4 yr old in advance. A week later I found her unable to get up, eat, drink etc so I knew we would have to take her in to the vet if she survived the night. We told him at that point that she was very sick. He gave her a hug but much like you mentioned his reaction seemed indifferent & that was hard on me. It made me sad that I knew he didn't understand the gravity of the situation or what a very special dog she was. He went to daycare the next day while we had our vet appt & buried her. When he got home I told him she'd died & gone to Heaven. He handled it very well & was more affected by the fact that I was upset than anything else. He said "it's ok mommy, we can get another dog." I cried a lot over her loss & still do from time to time & he knows I'm just sad b/c I miss her. He says he misses her & that she's in Heaven but he's been matter-of-fact about it all. For awhile he would say things like 'maybe she'll come back sometime' & I just explained that she really misses us but she can't come back & we'll see her again when we got to Heaven. We adopted another dog 2 months later & he's enjoyed having the new dog to play with. He mentions our lab from time to time...that she's in Heaven but we'll see her again sometime. The whole thing was MUCH harder on me than him which I'm glad for...even though I'm a little sad about it too. I keep journals for both of my kids so I just wrote a lot about what partners in crime they were & the special relationship they had the first 4 yrs of his life. I know he won't remember the details but I'm sure there were pets like that in my childhood as well.

    Married: '06 - Mom of 3 boys: '08, '11 & '14

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