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Thoughts on having more children...

ambrvanambrvan member
in Blended Families
This was sort of inspired by a post below about feelings toward older children when a new baby is born. First let me say, we are NOT thinking of having another baby anytime soon. At this time, I am thinking I never want more kids. SD and DS are enough for me. However, every now and then, I remember what it was like to be pregnant and the joy of a baby. And sometimes, I think I might want another child in six or so years.

DH has expressly said he does not want any more children, and with the way I feel now, we have been thinking about a vasectomy. I think I would rather nit have more children than accidentally when I am not ready.

If there is the slightest possibility that in so many years I might want to just talk about the possibikity of having another child, should we even be considering a vasectomy? I know no one can answer this for me, but I guess I am just wondering what you all would do in this position? What would you all consider before deciding?
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Re: Thoughts on having more children...

  • TasheystarTasheystar
    We just had a baby recently, so it's ODS who's mine, though adopted by DH, SD, and YDS who is ours. I'm not 100 percent certain I don't want another. DH isn't getting a vasectomy until we're both sure that we're done. That doesn't mean we'll definitely have one or not have one. Just that we both need to be on the exact same page. Until then, we're doing the IUD thing as a more "serious" form of birth control. I don't know your situation, but wouldn't it suck to get a reversal if you guys changed your mind?

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  • Sunday924Sunday924 member
    When I had my DS I knew we weren't going to have more so I had my tubes tied during birth. I'm young ( I think lol) but I knew I was done done DONE! I feel like if you aren't 100% you guys shouldn't do anything permanent and do something like an IUD.
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  • SimpleJaneSimpleJane member
    I had my tubes tied after DD. I had a my boy, my girl, and we really felt like we were done. Well.... Almost three years, a divorce, and a new relationship later and I'm not so sure I made the right choice.

    Make sure you are 100 done having kids, or think about doing something like an IUD that's difficult to accidentally get pregnant on.
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  • Littlejen22Littlejen22 member
    If you might want more than do not do it, a reversal is expensive and might not work. Not to give TMI but since my DH had his he has less semen so I have a guy feeling a reversal would not work for him so if I wanted more I would already regret it. Get a IUd instead.
    Jen - Mom to two December 12 babies Nathaniel 12/12/06 and Addison 12/12/08
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  • Ginlyn0Ginlyn0 member
    I think if your DH doesn't want more children and is 100% sure and is willing to go through a vasectomy that he should be able to do that if it was agreed beforehand how many children you would have. In our case, DH and I discussed having 1 child together. DH only wanted one w/ me and he was supposed to get a vasectomy after DS was born. I am not willing to get a permanent solution myself because I can't say I'm done personally because I've only had 2 kids even though at this point I don't want another. However, I'm perfectly fine with DH's decision not to have more but he is the one that has to get the permanent procedure done. I always wanted my kids spaced out and I can't say that in 5 years I might not want another once our older kids are closer to adult age. Right now, definitely not, as I have never been the type to like my kids close together because I like to savor the baby years and at this very moment I do not want anymore. I just don't want to regret that decision because my sister regretted her decision about 5 years after she had her tubes tied. Since DH has not gone to get his vasectomy like he was supposed to, I am probably going in to discuss and IUD at my next annual just so I don't have to continue the pill until I know for sure I am done.
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  • lily_721lily_721 member
    We have two SSs (18 and 16) and I am 4 months pregnant.  Our agreement was always to only have one child together.  DH intends to get a vasectomy after LO's birth.  I am more open to the idea of additional children but only if financial conditions were sufficient.
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  • ambrvanambrvan member
    Thank you, everyone. I am reluctant to get an IUD because I know three women personally who got pregnant with it, and I know several more who gad complications resulting in severe pain. Call me a wuss if you will. We have been very attentive and careful with the pill, using condoms when on antibiotics and suring a time when my birth control was on back order and unavailable anywhere in west TN. So maybe this is this is the best bet for us for now. It was never pre agrees upon about how many children we would have. DH knew that I might want to have one more much later, but as of now, I just don't see that happening. I just don't know if I am able to go through raising another child. I have so many doubts about my suitablity as a mother.
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