So WWYD

ABColeslaw · December 2012

I figured I'd ask you ladies, since you understand the high risk pregnancy journey.

Some background on me: I've had several miscarriages, due to low progesterone. I've had two pregnancies past the first trimester. The first one, my little girl was born too soon and passed away. The second one resulted in my gorgeous little boy Asher who is 2.5 currently. I was on and off bedrest with Asher. I had severe HG, I lost 25-28 lbs during my pregnancy and was skinnier the day after I delivered him than I'd ever been in my life. I was on progesterone suppositories until 18 weeks and then had shots until 34 weeks. I was also on insulin...I had very high sugars followed by very low lows. Somewhere around 32 weeks, my blood sugar dropped really quickly and I fainted in the middle of the street, hitting my front teeth on the pavement and breaking all six front top teeth. I've had to have them all root canaled and capped. After the fall, I had several episodes of severe headaches, my chest hurting, like my chest bone...I was told the headaches were normal and the chest hurting was due to heart burn. My son also stopped growing around 32 weeks and I was diagnosed with IUGR. My HG lasted my entire pregnancy, I was throwing up while delivering him.

I suffered until I had my son. I was very tired after I had him, I assumed it was due to just having had a baby. I was bruising super easy, my chest bones hurts all the time, and I was having severe pain under my rib cage. However at 4 weeks post partem, I collapsed at home. In the hospital, I was told that I needed to get my gall bladder out and that was probably what was causing the chest pains. I was in the hospital for 3 days, then went home. When I got home, I immediately interviewed nannies to help me while I recovered from surgery. The night I got home, I was suddenly in so much pain, I could barely breath and not pass out. I couldn't even stand or walk. I was rushed to a local hospital and then transferred to Boston. I was in the ICU for a week and a half, I was diagnosed with Atypical HELLP Syndrome. I was on magnesium, blood thinners, and dialysis. This explained the headaches, fainting, and chest/rib pains in my third trimester. It also explains the IUGR. Since my HELLP was atypical in that it became acute after I delivered and generally it happens while you're still pregnant, I am very lucky to be alive since I was no longer being monitored closely.

My liver was badly damaged. I now have three long lesions on my liver, they are not cancerous, but if they get too big, I could bleed internally. In the 2.5 years since this all happened, I have seen three liver specialist and 4 MFMs to try and understand my risks for another pregnancy. None of them agree on the right thing to do. Some say "sure have another baby" others says "No way too risky" and the last one I saw told me that I would as high risk as high riskers come, I'd have to get MRIs throughout my pregnancy, and I would be looking at no later than a 34 week delivery, because liver lesions grow in the last several weeks of pregnancy when the hormones fluctuate the most getting ready for labor. I also carry a 50/50 chance of having HELLP syndrome again and would be on bedrest for most of the pregnancy. It is also unclear how my liver would react to progesterone therapy, which I definately need to stay pregnant. There is a chance during pregnancy that my liver lesions could grow and rupture (Which carries a 25% chance of maternal death...if it happens) ...but there is a larger chance they'd stay the same size they are now. The last MFM I saw said "It is reasonable to say you could try again, it is also reasonable to say that it is too dangerous and you should stop" Not helpful. So.....

Knowing the background and what I'm looking at for risks (Especially weigh in if you've had multiple high risk pregnancies or are pregnant after a still born or late term loss) do you think it is worth a try?

Everyone around me is having babies. I am desperate for another baby. My little girl would have been 4.5 now and everytime I see a little girl that age, I can't help but think about how different life would be with two children. I also want my son to have a sibling. I have brothers and sisters, and having them made my childhood so much happier...and richens my life as an adult.

No flames please, I've been struggling with this for a while now. My husband really wants another baby too.

caden1206 · December 2012

Wow, that is a lot to go through. Definitely a lot more then I deal with. I think this decision is best made with qualified health professionals. However if you want my opinion I guess I can give it. First, if your conditions are as severe as your description I don't think it is safe to try agsin. You don't just have one variable that could be dangerous for you and baby, but you have several. As a mother I also think you must think of your son. You don't want to do something that could compromise your health and ultimately his childhood. We arent just talking about bedrest for you, we are talking about possible life or death. I also don't think your dreams of having a girl are over. Today there are several options for completing your family safely such as adoption or surrogacy. Of course I pray you can have a healthy pregnancy, but if it were me I would start to think of alternative options for the sake of my son. Good luck.

Ann003 · December 2012

While this is my first highrisk pregnancy and my issues are very different from yours, I will say that having doctors say it may or may not be ok to try again wouldn't be enough for me to risk my life. Having suffered a miscarriage, I understand the ache whenever you think of the child you lost. As PP said, there are other routes available for adding to your family. I just wouldn't want your son to grow up without a mother.

mgade001 · December 2012

I'm still in the throws of HG. I also have other high risk issues, but have been extremely blessed that LO is right on track. I was very high risk for abruption, IUGR, and other equally scary complications. Not that it's all over yet, but things are looking much better than they did the majority of my pregnancy.

I can tell you that the HG will be a major barrier to me ever doing this again. I do understand what you mean about wanting your LO to have sibs. I ask myself if it were a question of having my sibs or going through the incessant nausea/vomiting ED trips etc, would I do it? I always say yes, in my head, but it seems totally illogical.

Based on my experience, electing to go through anything this stressful is totally illogical. Your liver problem sounds pretty scary. Dialysis and ICU stay? Yikes. My advice is counseling. It seems like you need a sounding board, and I think counselors (in whatever form psy, spiritual, etc) are a great way to work through tough obstacles and major life decisions.

By the way I had to have an MRI during 3rd tri and it was pretty awful. I'm also concerned about the risks to LO from having done it. I had an MRI prior to pregnancy that wasn't nearly as uncomfortable. I really hope you don't have to have one (or more?) if you do decide to conceive. I know that sounds negative, but I thought it was worth mentioning. In the end, they can't do contrast anyway which makes for less valuable information in some cases. I would ask your MFM about that.

Good luck to you whatever you decide.

sthomas1222 · December 2012

My high risk problems are nowhere near the level of yours. But as one pp said, you must also take into account the LO you already have. I can't imagine the pain you feel when thinking about your daughter. But you have a child who is living and needs his mother. No doctor is going to tell you 100% yes or 100% no, they need to cover their own butts. And ethically no doctor can/should tell you what to do with your own body and life. They can give you the risks, the pros and cons, but can't make the decision for you. I would suggest counseling before making a decision either way. As soon as we started trying I began seeing a therapist due to childhood issues and not wanting to screw my children up like my parents did me. Just going and talking about it has helped immensely. But if it was me, I couldn't risk my life and leaving my child to hopefully have another.

elizabethnseanny · December 2012

Although you sound strong enough to make it through another nine months of misery and suffering for the blessing of another child, the risks seem too high in my opinion. Both for yourself and your family. Your son is beautiful, what a cute picture of him. All the best luck to you in your choices.

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