if you sleep trained... rec your method please?

BeachMama7693 · December 2012

has anyone here done a no cry sleep solution? my lo is 15 months and waking up 4-5 times a night. i posted here a while back, we are transitioning from bedshare and i really, really want to get her a better nights sleep. anyone have a method that works? *i lay down with her at night to put her to bed, and again when she wakes up throughout the night* i really dont want to do cio

KateLouise · December 2012

I like baby whisperer's pick up put down and shush pat methods.

Essentially you rock LO until drowsy and then put them down intheir cot and shush and pat until they're asleep.

If they get upset beyond a bit of fussing, you pick them up and soothe them and put them back down. (You're meant to put them down as soon as they're calm and not give extra snuggles). then continue patting. You pick them up as many times as needed, and don't leave until they're properly asleep. So they will get upset and cry because they're having to go to sleep in a way that's new for them, but you are right there to soothe them.

With an older LO, if you've not done this kind of thing before, it will probably be quite an exercise in patience and persistence, but it should work.

You might find that rather than picking LO up (some kids can get more worked up) that it's more effective to just sort of hug them over the cot and hug it out until they're calm.

Is she waking 4-5 times in her own bed/cot, or is she waking in your bed too? Is she still in a cot? When you say you're transitioning from bedsharing where are you at in that process? Does she start off in her own bed, and then end up in your bed at some point? Have you tried spending the whole night in her bed, so she gets used to the space but with you there?

synchrosally · December 2012

We used a stimulus fading method. We started with back rubbing and patting, then just a hand on his back, then a hand beside him, then stayed beside the bed. The goal is to gradually remove yourself from the equation until you can eventually be outside the room for her to fall asleep. It took us about 6 weeks to get out of the room, but he was also 22 months and in a toddler bed so there was lots of getting out of bed shinanigans to deal with.

BeachMama7693 · December 2012

KateLouise:
I like baby whisperer's pick up put down and shush pat methods.
Essentially you rock LO until drowsy and then put them down intheir cot and shush and pat until they're asleep.
If they get upset beyond a bit of fussing, you pick them up and soothe them and put them back down. (You're meant to put them down as soon as they're calm and not give extra snuggles). then continue patting. You pick them up as many times as needed, and don't leave until they're properly asleep. So they will get upset and cry because they're having to go to sleep in a way that's new for them, but you are right there to soothe them.
With an older LO, if you've not done this kind of thing before, it will probably be quite an exercise in patience and persistence, but it should work.
You might find that rather than picking LO up (some kids can get more worked up) that it's more effective to just sort of hug them over the cot and hug it out until they're calm.
Is she waking 4-5 times in her own bed/cot, or is she waking in your bed too? Is she still in a cot? When you say you're transitioning from bedsharing where are you at in that process? Does she start off in her own bed, and then end up in your bed at some point? Have you tried spending the whole night in her bed, so she gets used to the space but with you there?

we have been bedsharing since she was a newborn. about 2 weeks ago i decided i couldnt do it anymore, because she was grabbing for my nipple in the middle of the night and wouldnt go back asleep unless i let her hold it. i wasnt getting any sleep, neither was she, so i started putting her to bed in her toddler bed in her own room. so at 8 pm i lay down with her, nurse, and sing to her until she falls asleep. this takes anywhere from 10 minutes to an hour. she then wakes up usually at 1245, 330, 430 or 5, 630 and is up for the day around 745, which is when i get up for work. depending how tired i am, i will comfort her or lay down with her during those wake up times then sneak back to my own bed, unless im super exhausted then i will sleep on the mattress i have put next to her bed on the floor. she is very aware of me getting up and no matter how careful and quiet i am sometimes it will take an hour or more of me getting up and laying back down with her for her to fall back asleep completely. sometimes she will nurse at the 430 or 6 am time but not always, i would like to wean so i dont ever offer.

im exhausted.

TiffanyBerry · December 2012

I think you changed a LOT of things at once.

No longer getting to nurse when she wants to.

No longer getting to hold her comfort object.

No longer in bed with you.

No longer in the same room with you.

If you really need to change all that at once, it's going to take a while. I started with just partial night weaning. I'd even suggest wearing a bra if you have to. Yes, depending on your kid, there may be tears and crying. I can't claim it's a cry-free method for everyone; it certainly wasn't for us. But I was there with her - sometimes she'd push me away, then she'd calm down and want to be snuggled but sad. When we transitioned her to her room (but it was the same mattress), I have stayed with her and kept the same "you can nurse once in the night" thing.

I dunno - I *totally* understand feeling exhausted. my 31mo old has been waking up 2-4 times a night, and I'm in bed with her - but it seems like she may need slower change?

nosoup4u · December 2012

Kim West's "Good Night, Sleep Tight" has a gentle method. Basically you stay near them at bedtime with some restrictions, and then slowly move further away from them over a few nights.

I used Jay Gordan's night weaning method with success for my older son, but not with my younger one.

https://drjaygordon.com/attachment/sleeppattern.html

Hang in there!

haziedaze · December 2012

We tried sleep lady stuff and got to the point where he was going down easily but still waking up a ton- like every 2 hours. We just did Jay Gordon's night weaning and my world is looking much brighter. We put him down in the pac n' play in our room (with night weaning he seems to be on strike about going down in his crib). He usually wakes up around 10-1030 and I nurse and bring him in bed with us. Then it's no nursing from 11p-5am. He often wakes once around 230-3am and we pat, shush, etc in bed with us. Sleeping from 1030pm-3am right now feels like Heaven when before I never got more than 2 hours at a time. We've been at this about 10 days, so I'm hoping he stops waking up at 3am altogether soon.

For us it was important to focus on the aspect that was the worst/hardest and for us it was night waking. I decided I didn't really mind having him in bed with us for a while longer as long as we all got more hours of sleep in a row. We'll transition to a mattress on the floor in our room in another month or so probably. Good luck, it's really tough!

SandiaPinaMama · December 2012

I did a combo of Sleep Lady Shuffle and Dr. Jay Gordon.

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if you sleep trained... rec your method please?

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