Not sure which route to go!
I know most of you will probably think I'm crazy for thinking about this when DD is only 3 months old, but to be honest, I've been worried about it since the day she was born...well even before she was born!
DH and I have always wanted 2 children. I highly doubt we'll have such an amazing experience again with DIA so I most likely plan to do embryo adoption for baby #2. I had been put on the waiting list for that back in March and was told it was a 2 year wait, but ironically the week after DD was born, only 6 months after getting on this waiting list, they contacted me telling me it was my turn. I am putting it off for a while, obviously, but now I am wondering if that's the right choice.
DH and I had said that we wanted the whole experience with baby #1 but maybe we'd adopt and older child for our second. You girls are all so amazing, especially the ones who have adopted older children, and it makes me think that we really should consider that too. There are so many children out there that need homes.
How did you decide to take in an older child versus a newborn? We'd be making a few sacrifices, as far as not having them from the beginning, having all the baby pictures, etc...and then I'm sure there would be difficulties with bonding, emotional issues and so forth with an older child, but again, I know it would be amazing.
Thanks for listening. I've been avoiding posting this as I think most of you will think I'm out of my mind..but I can't help but think about it!
Re: Not sure which route to go!
I don't really have any advice seeing as I haven't adopted any children yet older or younger, but I will say that originally we were quite open in age when we were looking at foster care adoption. We have an 18-month old DS and we have been told by many people and read many articles/message boards/books that say it's a very bad idea to adopt out of birth order, especially if your younger child is too young to inform you of any problems they are having.
I'm not sure if you meant waiting until the older child is younger than your DD though, so if the above is not applicable just ignore me lol!
I am interested in hearing from people who've adopted older children as well, especially since we just found out about a sibling group who are 4 and 7 yrs old. It's older than we originally considered, so I'm kinda excited and kinda freaking out!
As for you question though about older vs infant... we are doing foster care with the hope of adopting because when we started the process, we didn't have the funds for adoption but really felt the desire to have kids in our house. We've been TTC for 4 years now and told there's no reason for our infertility. So while we're waiting for a miracle, we want to help kids and maybe be able to keep some too.
Moral of the story... older kids because we want to give kids a home who do'nt have one and because we don't have the money for DIA.
Adoptive daughter born 08/07/13... growing so fast
BM due again end of March 2015 so any day!
Bloggy blog
That is an interesting point and DH's biggest concern. I would probably wait for DD to be 2 or so...but then we'd be looking for a child 4 or younger so they could end up being older than DD..I just worry about waiting too long and then it taking a long time...something to think about..
This may sound a little crazy, but it's just what makes me tick I guess. Since we don't have difficulty getting and staying pregnant, if we hadn't pursued adoption, I'd probably be in my third trimester with our second child (if not giving birth AS WE SPEAK!).
And, man, I am so glad to not be bringing a newborn into this house. DS is amazing, but he's so curious and high energy and "insistent" and he's not even a little bit gentle (even when he means to be). I'm so glad our next child will be sturdier than a newborn, and will probably be old enough for them to play together. I know it could blow up in our faces, but I love that our next child will have someone his/her age to relate to (when we may be scary).
But we have considered embryo adoption if Uganda's regulations change and we're unable to adopt there. I'm just excited about our path; I think that's the kicker, you know? There are positives and negatives about every choice; at the end of the day, you've got to go with what your heart tugs at you to do.
So cheesy, that is.
Application approved Dec '11
Mar '12: Homestudy interrupted by change in Uganda requirements - where do we go from here?
After searching and searching, back with Uganda but with our homestudy agency's program.
Homestudy complete July 19
USCIS I-600A submitted July 20. Biometrics appointments arrived Aug 17; fingerprinted Aug 21; 171H received Sept 25th. On the wait list Oct 1st: #18. By Jan 25th, we're #13!
Come home, baby A!
I hope this doesn't sound snarky, but I'm just curious -- why would you consider embryo adoption if you don't have difficulty getting and staying pregnant? I guess I don't really know/understand all the in's and out's of embryo adoption, so it made me curious.
I'm also curious!
Well we've jut considered it. I've just heard the number of embryos that are frozen i crazy high. It would be sad to me for them to not get a chance to become people.
? That's pretty much it.
Application approved Dec '11
Mar '12: Homestudy interrupted by change in Uganda requirements - where do we go from here?
After searching and searching, back with Uganda but with our homestudy agency's program.
Homestudy complete July 19
USCIS I-600A submitted July 20. Biometrics appointments arrived Aug 17; fingerprinted Aug 21; 171H received Sept 25th. On the wait list Oct 1st: #18. By Jan 25th, we're #13!
Come home, baby A!
5 Angels