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February 2012 Moms
Sept07b2b
member
s/o birth experience
Sept07b2b
member
The post below got me thinking. I know a lot of people have very specific ideas about what kind of birth experience they want to have to the point where they are devastated if they don't have the birth experience they wanted. I know people who months after are still upset about it, and I think it really negatively impacted their first few weeks with their LOs.
I've really never understood this. I, personally, just wanted a healthy baby with minimal damage (to both me and the baby). Obviously, most people prefer vaginal to c-section, but if I had really needed a c-section, I would have dealt with it. I am genuinely curious why people have such strong feelings about a "birth experience." Is it that everyone is just skeptical of doctors and medicine and think that all doctor's just want to cut them open? Or is it that everyone believes a med free birth is better for the baby?
This is not meant to be snarky at all. I would really just like to understand this.
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Re: s/o birth experience
I was/am much like you, I went in knowing that I wouldnt be able to control everything and I wanted to just get threw it with as little damage as possible. My doctor mentioned to me the chance of needing an emergency C-section and my only concern was the fact that I was already crowning and needing to be wheeled into an operating room, like that. Plus I was concerned for my daughters health.
I have always been very mellow and was the same while I was in labor...its going to happen how it happens and I just kinda go with the flow (to a point)
I didnt go in thinking I want to have a c-section but I trusted if my doctor said I needed one, then I needed one. I ended up with a vaginal birth but the doctor straight up told me if I didnt get her head out as quickly as I did, she was planning to send me for a csection within minutes, becuase the baby wasnt getting oxygen.
Had I known I was going to need a csection things might have been less devastating for me. After 7 hours unmedicated labor I found out he was breech and I needed a csection in a matter of minutes. I had zero time to process the change. It didn't impact my time with him although I had a hard time recovering from the surgery.
My problem is that while I understood the need for induction, when they start you on pitocin and it effects your baby's heart rate (which it is known to do) and you hear their heart rate drop with every contraction, there is a certain amount of trauma that carries with you. I narrowly avoided an emergency c-section. I was lucky and ended up with a healthy baby and I didn't have any major physical trauma.
It is hard not to think that my baby was put into fetal distress because of the pitocin, a well-documented side effect. I can only be thankful everything turned out okay and try not to think that if we had just waited for labor to start on it's own things might have been different. Things might have been better or they might have been worse and in the end, I've got my baby. It was a pretty crappy experience though and I think doctors are too willing to do it because they know they can just c-section if it doesn't work and I don't think that is fair to the mother.
With that sad, it didn't effect much of anything of my first weeks with Ben. It is just a little piece of sadness that lingers and wanders into my mind every now and again. You don't forget hearing your baby's heart rate drop like that.
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I am a recovering addict & I knew that if I had a Csection I would be in a lot of pain and probably need pain killers. The thought of taking an addictive drug made me super nervous. It turned out I needed a C-Section. The hospital staff was great though. I explained my situation & was able to control my pain without using narcotics. I really wish I didnt get myself so stressed because it wasnt so bad!!
However, I understand the strong feelings associated with it. I had a difficult pregnancy and the birth was a csection due to positioning. I felt like the whole time I had no control over anything and it sucked. I was determined to breastfeed. I felt like my body had failed me during my pregnancy multiple complications and then I had to deliver early because of high BP and I was so sick of not having control over anything that I was determined to be successful at breastfeeding. I spent a fortune trying to get a supply in well over 1k in 12 weeks and put a ton of time into it and those first few months have up time cuddling with my girls to pump. I did a ton of research, met wih LCs, ordered drugs from overseas, rented a heavy duty pump, I went crazy over it. And in the end my peak output was 18 ounces in a day and by the last week I was only getting 7 ounces a day. I finally stopped since that's much split between 2 babies and I was devastated. I cried and was really upset, maybe even depressed for a day or two.
For me it was about control and feeling like I failed as a woman. After probably a week I was able to look at the big picture and realize I had two healthy babies and could spend more time with them since I wasn't pumping and we were all happier, but when I stopped all I could think was "great, one more thing that I failed at". You hear so much now about how natural birth is best and breastfeeding is best and when you can't do it I think it's understandable to feel like you failed a little bit. Of course, if I hadn't gotten over it quickly or if it effected my relationship with the girls I would have sought help. To this day I'm bummed that breastfeeding didn't work out but I'm not upset about it anymore.