Inlaws vent! — The Bump
Babies: 6 - 9 Months

Inlaws vent!

My inlaws came in town last night to babysit DD who is 7 months while DH and I went to a Christmas party. I put her to bed before we left and instructed them not to pick her up unless she was wailing. She occasionally wakes up but will put herself right back to sleep and I never pick her up. We got home about 11 and DD was awake watching tv with them! I quietly freaked out and grabbed her and went to put her back to bed. She fell asleep immediately.

Well, that probably doesn't sound too bad until...

I nursed DD at about 3:45 a.m. and put her back down. Again, she likes to talk herself to sleep. NBD. I fell back asleep and got up at 6:30. When I got up, there was DD in the living room with them again! MY FIL apparently got up at 4 a.m. to go to the bathroom an heard DD "making noise" so he got her out of bed! It took every fiber of my being to not freak out at them.

I tried to make it clear that I put her down awake and she falls asleep by herself. Thy apparently used to rock my DH until he was dead to the world and don't understand this concept. This was the first time they've sat for us at night so I'm trying to cut them some slack but seriously!!

So tonight should be fun.

Re: Inlaws vent!

  • I would be furious. You need to have your dh talk to them about it do you have a monitor on at night did you hear them take her.
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  • ugh, that would make me so mad. Yes, I agree. Make your DH the bad guy and make him lay down the law.
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  • I have a monitor but didnt hear it. That's how quiet she was being! My FIL literally had to be standing with his ear against the door. DH was actually up at 4 about to leave for work and told them to take her back to her room but obviously they didn't listen.
  • I had a babysitter do the same thing. I had no words. 
  • image Amanda2011:
    I had a babysitter do the same thing. I had no words. 

    I can understand a babysitter being unsure but not baby's grandparents. They should know better at least to respect your wishes!!!

    Don't be too upset, things happen and it's not going to ruin LO's cycle..hopefully! ;) 

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  • How often do they get to see her? Is it possible that they were just so excited about being 'in charge' that they didn't think about your instructions? Yes, they should have listened but to me it's not that big of a deal. Of course when she's cranky during the day from being tired I'd hand her to them each and every time and let them deal with it.
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  • image Cheerio B:
    How often do they get to see her? Is it possible that they were just so excited about being 'in charge' that they didn't think about your instructions? Yes, they should have listened but to me it's not that big of a deal. Of course when she's cranky during the day from being tired I'd hand her to them each and every time and let them deal with it.


    They live 2 hours away and see her about two to three times a month.
  • image Cheerio B:
    How often do they get to see her? Is it possible that they were just so excited about being 'in charge' that they didn't think about your instructions? Yes, they should have listened but to me it's not that big of a deal. Of course when she's cranky during the day from being tired I'd hand her to them each and every time and let them deal with it.


    Ita. I am a little surprised at how much people are freaking out about this and using words like "furious". They are excited about the baby and trying to be helpful. It's not like they are a daily sitter messing up your routine every day. What's the big deal? You can reinforce what you want again w them, but to be furious about it?!? I think you should thank your lucky stars that this is the worst unlawful problem you have, no offense!
  • I don't see this as a big deal at all.  Grandparents are supposed to spoil grandchildren.  Is it really hurting your LO to be up with them?  I can see if it is several nights in a row it will mess up your routine but an occasional night won't hurt.  
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  • image redmonkeystomper:
    I don't see this as a big deal at all. nbsp;Grandparents are supposed to spoil grandchildren. nbsp;Is it really hurting your LO to be up with them? nbsp;I can see if it is several nights in a row it will mess up your routine but an occasional night won't hurt. nbsp;


    That's why I didn't get on to them. I just let it slide but it still irked me!
  • image Sigir:
    image Cheerio B:
    How often do they get to see her? Is it possible that they were just so excited about being 'in charge' that they didn't think about your instructions? Yes, they should have listened but to me it's not that big of a deal. Of course when she's cranky during the day from being tired I'd hand her to them each and every time and let them deal with it.
    Ita. I am a little surprised at how much people are freaking out about this and using words like "furious". They are excited about the baby and trying to be helpful. It's not like they are a daily sitter messing up your routine every day. What's the big deal? You can reinforce what you want again w them, but to be furious about it?!? I think you should thank your lucky stars that this is the worst unlawful problem you have, no offense!

    this.




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  • Okay they were babysitting at did it but at 4 am you were home in your bed with the monitor on.  He has no right to get her out of bed that was your job.  That is why I would be furious.
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  • Over the past two days, FIL and stepMIL have probably provided about 10 hours worth of baby sitting so that DH and I could go to a show and then get our house ready for company, do the holiday cooking, etc.

    If they are up at 4 am and DD was awake, I really wouldn't care if they got her up.  More sleep for me!  I'm sure DD would make up her sleep the next day.  One night won't kill a schedule.

    I got up five times with DD last night.  I WISH someone had taken initiative to just give her a bottle so that I could sleep!

    I think I run a pretty tight ship in my home (my ILs always ask my permission to the point that I *almost* feel bad)...but I think a little less ridigity wouldn't hurt anybody

  • Hm. Posts like this make me thankful I'm not close to any family  members... My MIL fought me the one (and only) time she came to visit over a simple hand washing request. and she is a nurse. she was like, oh I used hand sanitizer earlier... after being in a car for 3 hrs... I let it slide. but she is just a difficult person.

    yeah... ppl just like to make waves - they'll be gone soon enough. I for one understand why you're upset. this messes with you're sleep schedule & her sleep schedule. Whether it is one time or 5 you will now have to reinstill what you are teaching. C'est le vie

  • image Sigir:
    image Cheerio B:
    How often do they get to see her? Is it possible that they were just so excited about being 'in charge' that they didn't think about your instructions? Yes, they should have listened but to me it's not that big of a deal. Of course when she's cranky during the day from being tired I'd hand her to them each and every time and let them deal with it.


    Ita. I am a little surprised at how much people are freaking out about this and using words like "furious". They are excited about the baby and trying to be helpful. It's not like they are a daily sitter messing up your routine every day. What's the big deal? You can reinforce what you want again w them, but to be furious about it?!? I think you should thank your lucky stars that this is the worst unlawful problem you have, no offense!



    Yes!!!!!!

    Sometimes I think my husband thinks I can be a bit intense. I chuckle inside. If he only knew!!!! More than a few bumpies are EXTREME!
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