What would you all recommend.
My SD, BM refused to give her to us today. My husbands was suppose to get her for "winter vacation" for a week. We were suppose to return her Dec,25 at 2:00. She flat out said NO. We spoke to our lawyer and he tried to put in an order for contempt to get a hearing in the next couple of days, but since she is in no danger. So we have to wait until after the holidays. She has done this before even after court told her that she had to give SD to us. She refused to and that same day she called us at 6 saying that she had changed her mind and that we could pick her up. Fast forward to right now. This morning she said the same thing. You can not get her and I don't care what you do. About 30 min ago she called and asked for my husband, but he was at work. What should we do. Should we make her wait and have her bring us SD since when we wanted to pick her up she said no. *We will ask our lawyer this tomorrow morning* Will we be able to make up the missed time with one extra day?. If anyone could give me any advice on how to handle this situation, i would appreciate it.
Some background. Mother has a boyfriend and she flat out refuses to work with my husband when it comes to their daughter. She recently moved and refuses to let my husband know where she moved to. She refuses to put my husband in their daughters emergency contact unless its to cover some sort of bill. If we want to speak to her, we have to go through her boyfriend first. She has my SD call her boyfriend daddy and tells her that my husband is not her daddy and so on. So as you can see she is hard to work with, We have tried in plenty occasions to work with her but she refuses to do the same with us. Its her way or no way. We already have mediation set for Jan but our lawyer told us today that she called to cancel AGAIN. Please any advice would be appreciated.
Re: What would you all recommend.
Again, document EVERYTHING she is doing to be difficult, it will be useful later.
Honestly, even as a BM, I have no idea how a mother could act like this either. It's HARD to give up time with your kids, especially during Christmas, but that is do reason to completely alienate the other parent. The only person she is really hurting here is her own daughter. Poor kid is probably confused.
On another note, do you think BM may be in an abusive/controlling relationship? The whole thing about her BF only speaking to you guys kind of struck me as maybe he doesn't want her talking to/around your H? I may be completely off base here.
Actually SimpleJane,
When we went to court for child support. We were there with her father and we spoke, *back when her and her boyfriend were broken up*. In front of her dad she herself said that she was scared to stand up to her boyfriend about SD dad. That she knew if my husband ever tried to contact his daughter that he would have a major blow out. So that is what we got out of that.
When we first spoke to our lawyer, he brought this up also. However, he said unless we had "proof" or she reported it, there was nothing we could do. We think she is in a controlling relationship, but in her words "I don't want to loose him."
Try not to get too wrapped up in her drama. She wants to play games with your husband, and probably you. When he and you get upset, she probably revels in it. So don't. Instead when she says "No", you promptly say, "Okay. See you in court." as calmly and matter of fact as you can. Then file contempt and follow thru.
She will eventually get sick of the lawsuits. And...she could very well lose custody. Don't tell her that tho. Communicate as little as possible as far as your potential legal actions. Don't play into her games. Just accept her answer and move forward with legal action. She'll get sick of that real quick PLUS, know that you won't play her game and stop that as well.
Hopefully, you already have SD in your home.
Even if you do, continue with the motion for contempt. She has to follow the CO'd time.
Hopefully, having a judge tell her s/he will put her in jail if she ever does this again will end her drama.