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A letter to my baby girl

Brendastar719Brendastar719
in Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss
My sweet Anastasia Lee,
The moment we found out about you we were so excited!
I want you to know that even though we will never get to meet you, having you inside of me was the happiest we've ever been. I saw and felt you growing in my tummy getting bigger every day. It was the most amazing feeling and the best thing I've ever experienced in my life! (even with all of the morning sickness.. and that morning sickness got bad especially when mommy ate pizza...You, my child, did not like that and you let me know it!)
I would close my eyes and picture you in my arms. Daddy and I would talk of all the things we would do and how much we would enjoy our little banana. That was our nickname for you, Ana banana. We were going to be a happy ?bunch of bananas".
We wondered what your personality would have been like (I?m sure with us as parents your personality would have been HUGE), if you?d have my eyes and daddy?s lips and if you were anything like us, how much trouble we?d have once you hit your teens. That gave us a good chuckle and scared your daddy!
I wondered what it would be like to hold you in my arms, to sing to you and sooth you when you were not feeling well?
I remember seeing your little heart beating on that screen and although I was in love with you already I think that was the moment our bond became solid my little one. You and I were one for a short time. I had you there tucked away right under my heart.
I never knew I wouldn't get the chance to hold your hand or see your precious face. I wouldn't get to see your daddy cuddle you in his arms and I wouldn't get to comfort you when you needed it...
We had to say goodbye before we could say hello.
Now you've gone to the only other place as beautiful and safe as inside of me. You are with the only one that would love you as we did.
Although that provides some comfort, losing you is a pain i will never get over.
Your grandma says you?re our little angel watching over us now and one day when the timing is right daddy and I will have another precious baby... I believe in my heart that is true.
You will have sisters and brothers to watch over my angel, but know that you will always be my first babygirl and you were loved from the moment we saw those two lines.
Love always
Mommy
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Re: A letter to my baby girl

  • Avion22Avion22 member
    That made me cry.   You've put into words what I've been feeling for the last few weeks.  Thank you for sharing something so beautiful.
    imageDSC_9275  image



    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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  • bunnybun4bunnybun4 member
    This is just so beautiful and precious.  Made me cry at work but a good cry.  I need to write one of these.  thank you for sharing.

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    8/12-Suprise BFP- Sweet Bunny Born Sleeping 11/21/12 (19 weeks)

    -5/7/13- MMC (8 Weeks)

    11/6/13- BO discovered at 7 weeks- natural MC 11/25/13

    8/14- Surpise IF dx...low AMH (.24)- moving on to IVF

    IVF #1- 11/14- 6R5M4F=2 perfect frosties

    12/19/14- FET of 2 embabies = BFP!!!  One Little Bean EDD: 9/3/15

    Everyone Welcome.

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  • ellajune2012ellajune2012 member
    so sweet and heartbreaking. :(
    imageimage
    BFP with #1 (twins!) 11/18/2011 - missed m/c at 8weeks3days; d&c 1/19/2012; myomectomy to remove 18cm+,10cm & 5cm fibroids 4/2012; TTC again 7/2012; BFP #2 (twins) 11/13/2012; missed m/c at 7weeks;
    BFP #3: baby girl born 3/5/2014

    Balaustine: an anthology about wanting family
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  • secerkasecerka member
    Just beautiful!!! Brought teats to my eyes :(!!! So sorry for your loss and I hope you will soon be pregnant again!! HUGGS
    A loving heart is the truest wisdom
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  • megbpoffmegbpoff
    Beautiful letter.  I hope that you have all the peace that one could muster during this difficult time.  I can see so vividly that you loved your baby beyond the words you expressed.  Prayers sent your way. 
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  • Brendastar719Brendastar719

    thank you for the support and the prayers.  this was my way of trying to heal.  Ive been feeling so lost and alone (even with all of the support im getting from my soon to be hubby and M-I-L) it does help to know that i am not alone. 

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  • alleycat39alleycat39 member
    Beautifully written. Thats a wonderful way to express yourself! Many hugs to you.
    PCOS & ute crew member
    BFP #1: 10/24/2012  EDD 7/3/13, missed m/c @ 9 weeks, D&E 
    DX: Septate Uterus. Septum resection 6/4/13
    BFP #2: 12/20/2013  EDD 9/1/14, missed m/c @ 7weeks, D&E
    BFP #3: 5/26/2014 EDD 2/7/15, missed m/c @ 9 weeks, D&E- DX Trisomy22
    RPL, Karyotyping, and SHG: All Normal
    BFP #4: 9/6/14 EDD 5/16/15 Praying for our RAINBOW!
    image
    Baby GIRL on the way!!
    **All AL Welcome**

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  • sonrisasonrisa member
    That is lovely.
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