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Talk me off the ledge...

hcbrownehcbrowne member
in Babies: 0 - 3 Months

I have become so obsessed watching my son's development. I had an emergency c-section due to possible choreoamnionitis (infection of the amniotic fluid) and my son was in the NICU recieving anti-biotics for a week. It was never really confirmed b/c my cultures came back negative, but that doesn't exclude it either. So I am generally worried about any and all developmental delays.  

For example, DS (10 weeks old) is starting to open his hands more and more but much more so with his left hand. So I see him reaching for toys with his left with his right clenched. He does reach with his right, just not as much or with the same finesse. He is also starting to play with his toes but only reaches for them with his left hand. He can hold himself up (mini push up) and seems to be gaining better head control--noticeable when I am carrying him. He is also able to scoot (albiet minimally) across his playmat and onto the floor. I am also concerned by how much he moves all of his limbs in general. If I didn't swaddle him I swear he'd never sleep. 

I just feel so lost as to what is normal and what isn't. I spoke with the nurse at pedi office who spoke to pedi for me. She said it wasn't uncommon for him to use one hand more than other at this age and that he was too young for his motor skills to be defined so they wouldn't be able to tell what was abnormal if anything--so just to keep an eye out.

I can't stop watching him and analyzing every little thing. It starting to really get to me.  

Did/does anyone else have this problem? How did you cope? 

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Re: Talk me off the ledge...

  • Faith 21Faith 21 member
    Well I can say only from my experience that my three month does the same thing. I look at it as maybe he will be left handed and so he tries to use that side more than his right. Maybe his other arm is not as strong and that he uses his left because of it. I would not worry. Kids develop different and if your pedi is not worried about it then I would try to relax. Easier said then done. I know. GL
    Colty Bug's Mommy
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  • hcbrownehcbrowne member
    That is helpful--makes me feel a bit less worried. I know I am over analyzing everything. Its just hard to know b/c he is my first and I'm an anxious person anyway. Thanks for sharing!
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  • buffyverrban1buffyverrban1

    imagekbruington:
    You are going to drive yourself crazy with this obsession and not to mention stress out your child. They really can pick up on our moods so this isn't healthy for either of you. You might want to call your doctor and tell him/her that you are stressing over these things. It's totally normally for moms to worry but you will go crazy if you don't get it under control. You have a very LONG time with this child so make the best of it and try not to worry so much :) 10 weeks is so young and to be analyzing every little thing right now is counterproductive. Enjoy your baby, don't stress over him!

    ^This. Mention it to your doctor, you might have post-partum anxiety. Your baby is doing great, and you want to feel proud of those little achievements instead of stressing over them. I know it's hard not to stress out, but think about it this way. Do you want your baby (or toddler as he gets older) to feel like when he masters a new skill it isn't good enough, or do you want your LO to feel like Mommy is so so proud of him? It's worth getting help to get over it. I needed some and I feel much better now and have tools to help keep things in perspective.   

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  • bearkatjenbearkatjen member
    Normal is a very broad spectrum when it comes to child development. Don't ignore your gut, but also try to observe your child's development as a whole, instead of breaking it down to every component. It's he meeting the majority of his milestones within a certain time frame then he is probably fine. It's normal for a child to lag here or there on something, just as it's normal for the same child to meet another milestone well in advanced. How is his overall development. Usually if there's a problem, there are several indicators, not just one tiny thing.
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  • hcbrownehcbrowne member

    Thank you for the advice ladies. I think its is more of an issue with me than LO's development. He has met all of his milestones so far on time or early. I do have OCD and a history of panic attacks (I have not had one in over 2 years) so post partum anxiety is definitely a strong possibility. 

    I think phrases like "follow your gut" for me are difficult b/c I go into overdrive and I can't always tell what is my gut and what is my anxiety disguised as a gut feeling. Probably the best thing for me to do is to go talk to a therapist about all this! Sometimes I wish the internet did not exist, but by the same token I am thankful to be able to get input from ppl like you. 

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