for those with twins on the way - what do you say?

Ms H13 · December 2012

When people ask if twins run in your family? I have started saying 'now they do!', but yesterday a co-worker was extremely insistent on knowing my family's history with twins. Has anyone else run into this?

eastwesteast78 · December 2012

All. The. Time. Literally every person we tell. I usually just say no although I do have a second cousin who had two girls and tried for a boy and ended up with triplet boys. Really it's none of people's business and it is more common for women in their 30s to ovulate more than one egg at a time.

txcyclist · December 2012

I respond with the same as you. Most people usually drop it but it's been surprising to me how many people ask.

octbride1234 · December 2012

It amazes me on how some people think they are entitled to know personal business and asking how your twins were conceived. People can be really rude and these comments will continue even after your babies arrive. I even had strangers ask personal questions. For me, I just said that they run on both sides of the family and when someone asked if we did IVF I said no. For us it was a personal matter and we did not tell people we did IVF. We felt that It was no one's business how my babies were conceived. I am now pregnant with my second set of twins and dreading the never ending comments... but I refuse to let that overshadow our joy so I will now say, "yes, they run in our family and the doctor said when you have one set your chances increase for another".... Its all up to you, some people are more open about IVF and telling people but for us we decided to keep it private.

amd1982 · December 2012

SO FRUSTRATING!!! i can't believe your co-worker was insistent like that. what a B.

i used to say "they do now" but honestly now that I'm this far along in my pregnancy, my tolerance level for stupid people is at an all time low. for real, i've even started giving my mom money to do my Xmas shopping for me because i feel like i'm going to have a breakdown in stores haha.

now, i just say "nope" to the question of do they run in your family. then i just stare at them until they feel uncomfortable (if they seem like they're waiting for me to add a response). sigh - people will never learn that others' reproductive history is none of their damn business.

April+ · December 2012

Luckily my mom also had twins so I just say "my mom had twins". Some people still look confused because its supposed to skip a generation but I usually just end the conversation at that point.

tryingtostaypositive · December 2012

Some people don't ask any questions and are just really happy for me. Others though will say, oh do they run in your family? and that is when I make up some story of how they do. There was a time when someone was drilling me so much I just didn't even care I stuck with my story. It was none of her business how my twins were conceived. Who knows what she may face when she tries to have babies, that's why people should never judge, its ignorant! I've also had people ask my sister if we did IVF and I told her the same story how twins run in our family. I am just more of a private person and don't think it's anyones business and people are just relentless! All I care about is having two healthy babies, people can think and assume what they want!

fabulouspinkmady · December 2012

First of all, your co-worker sounds obnoxious... what business is it of theirs anyway?!

I don't mind telling people these are IVF babies. Everyone who knows us knows DH had cancer and they can usually put two and two together. I can understand why others might not want to be so open about it though, IF is a very personal matter and some people ask this question just to be nosy. They assume that if twins don't run in your family, it must mean that you've had IF treatment. Like it makes a difference to them somehow. I would just say the "now they do" and walk away, heh.

MrsNukem · December 2012

I had one coworker ask me if my twins were "natural". I was just so stunned I didn't know what to say. But my cousin (who also saw the same RE as me though she did Clomid, not IVF) is also having boy/girl twins so I just tell them they don't run in our family but now they do!

Rvnsgrl81 · December 2012

First of all they run in both my family and DH's. So when we first told family they were all like oh how many generations, etc. etc. Both sides did this. When we tell anyone else they ask the question every time, it is like as soon as you get out twins that is out of their mouths immediately. We say yes but we also transfered two.

We are at the point that we don't care what people think of our IF struggles, we weren't very open about it when going through it, but now we want people to know how much we wanted BOTH of these babies and the lengths we went to to acheive it. Most people are still just in shock that half the time in goes in one ear and out the other.

We have told DH's family numerous times we did IVF after everything else. They still think it just happened. I am like seriously what is up with your family not listening?!? haha

Ruthie04 · December 2012

If I am feeling really snarky, I'll say, "No, but infertility does!" Both DH and I have siblings that needed medical intervention to conceive and we have twin nephews from an IUI cycle. I usually say, "I think I have some aunts back there, but it seems like everyone has twins somewhere in the family." Most people just nod their head. The worst is when people ask, "Did you do fertility treatments?" When they say that, I usually respond with, "You know, a lot of people ask that." That seems to take care of things. I'm definitely not ashamed about our IF and am generally very open about things, but I'm not about to discuss my reproductive parts with strangers.

tombomb84 · December 2012

I find this question so annoying since most people are obviously fishing for info/being nosy. My responses vary depending on my mood - sometimes I lie and just say yes since that ends the conversation (this is what DH always does), other times I say "now they do", or I say no and do the stare down move daring them to ask me more. If someone is unlucky enough to catch me in a bad mood I will tell them no and ask them why they want to know - that makes them very uncomfortable!

bandwife928 · December 2012

I always say, "They do, but my twins are not spontaneous." From there, if they're brave enough to ask more questions, I tell them exactly what I went through to get pregnant. That's mostly because people who want to ask nosy questions usually also want to make stupid comments about how it's going to be when they're born. I always make a point of saying how grateful I am for them because I walked down the path of not knowing whether we would ever have kids. I'll take any opportunity to do a little IF education.

Mrs.AmyDylan · December 2012

I'm not expecting twins, but it was in play since we transferred two embies. My plan was to tell people that yes they do, on my moms side.

Ironically, it is my moms aunt and uncle that adopted two sets of twins due to infertility back in the late 50s.

Sorry, you all are getting so many questions. People need to mind their own business.

BeccaLandes · December 2012

i have had my twins for a while now, but get used to this question- when you go out with your twins after they are born, you will get asked this a lot. it never bothers me, i am so proud of my boys that i will tell anyone anything.

my answer is usually, "no, they don't run in the family. these were a 2-for-1 special from my fertility clinic." now that i am pregnant, people ask if i'm having twins again, and i will tell them no- that my twins are the result of IVF and this pregnancy was a surprise. i am not private, and i don't feel there is anything to be ashamed of from having fertility treatment.

lynn0926 · December 2012

All the freakin time! You will be asked for the rest of your life. I get that or "did you do ivf"?. I tell some people about IVF, but because I work with 100 catty women, I say my mom's cousins have twins, and nobody has seemed to ask anything more.

Blueyed228 · December 2012

Twins do run in my family and on my dads side so I have a good "out", lol.

Jbromberg1985 · December 2012

I've only gotten it a few times, but if someone were super insistent with it, I (being a very sarcastic person) would probably be as vague as possible and say 'I'm not really sure... we must've just gotten lucky!'

I mean, in all honesty, there are plenty of people that know we did IVF, so if someone doesn't know, I probably don't know them well enough to dive into my family's history with them!

I think my funniest moment was when I told me grandparents that we're expecting twins, and my Dad's mom (who always has to be the center of attention) said "Oh my goodness... twins run in my family, you know!' (they don't really, but like I said, center of attention) and my response to her was 'that's nice, but these were medically induced twins since we couldn't get pregnant on our own so I don't think your family history had much to do with it!'

Ms H13 · December 2012

Thanks ladies, loved reading all your responses. Guess I should just get used to this question, maybe I can always fall back on my old standby from when people would ask when we were having kids - 'why do you ask?'

kyna81 · December 2012

Depends on who asks. Some people, I just say, nope! I smile and walk away. Others, if I know them better, I tell them we did fertility treatments or say, it took a long time and we are thrilled.

Blueyed228 · December 2012

I had tried to warn my parents for people asking obnxious question about them being "natural" or "real" and my dad thought I was nuts.

Well today he got his first question. Some lady asked him if they were "real". Gotta love my Dad. His response? "Nope, we went down to Toys R Us and bought some Cabbage Patch Kids. Not that its any of your business".

Haha. Love my dad.

Want a personalized experience?

for those with twins on the way - what do you say?

Re: for those with twins on the way - what do you say?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards