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Burned out - VENT

DixieNormous330DixieNormous330 member
in Special Needs

I don't know if it's the fact that I hate the place I work, I hate my commute, or that I just can't handle everything on my plate right now. I'm sure it's a combination of all of the above plus some.

I'm so unhappy with work. I hate it. I know that if DD was NT I wouldn't hesitate to remain in the work force, but with all of her issues (and especially the ones with eating right now), all I want to do is be a SAHM and be the one working with her constantly. Her babysitter is wonderful, but I want it to be me.

Not to mention that my pitiful salary covers my 3 personal bills (2 CC, and student loan), the babysitter, my commute into work ($229/month!), and food in the City. I bring my lunch frequently but sometimes there just isn't time/energy to put something together. Basically, I'm PAYING to work. There's nothing left from my salary to save. 

I hate not having the energy to put together a nice dinner or even straighten up or clean my home. I hate living in the mess but H and I are so exhausted that it gets pushed aside until we have a giant blow up about it because we're both sick of the mess. 

I don't want to lose my independence and rely completely on H financially, but I certainly don't want to continue down this road. I want to be at home with my girl. I want to be the one to put her on the bus and take her off. I want to be able to be more leisurely with her. To be able to do the carry over and not worry about how late this is going to push back her bed time. It might be different when she starts going to actual school, but right now I don't want to work. And when she does go to school, I'd like to work part time.

I'm so unhappy and so tired.  All I do lately is cry.

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Re: Burned out - VENT

  • StillharborStillharbor member
    I'm sorry you're so unhappy.  If you sit down and the cost of working really allows you to save nothing, then maybe you don't need to work.  It would at least save your nerves.  I wish I could be a SAHM.  Is there any way you could take a sabbatical from work and do a trial of staying at home?  That way you could get a feel for what it would be like (not everyone can stand being "stuck" at home with LO) and financially you could figure out if its possible.
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  • DixieNormous330DixieNormous330 member
    I could take a leave of absence, Stillharbor. It's not a bad idea, but really I want to sever the ties and burn the bridge to this place. I know i need to be rational before doing anything. I'm going to get the numbers together tomorrow when I have the day off and figure out what can be done.
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  • Assembly_ReqdAssembly_Reqd member

    I would crunch the numbers. Here's some other things I thought of

    -Are there any bonuses or a 401K matching program you would be missing out on?

    -Don't forget the hidden numbers like potential tax returns from this income. A lot of people depend on that return for big purchases/repairs

    -Loosing the income could maybe put you in a lower tax bracket.

    -If your job offers insurance you may want to keep it as a safety net in case your DH looses his job

    -I would ask for a raise. Even if they suck, a raise may make you feel a bit better. The worse they could do is say no.

    I SAH because my industry is low on the work load right now. My very flexible employer has halted work until the consultants catch up. I want to keep this gig, so I am rolling with it for now.

    What may help the home chore situation with your DH is to make list to put on the refrig of stuff that has to be done weekly. This helped my DH see what stuff was falling behind and he was able to crank out some tasks when I was overwhelmed.

    Another option is to meal plan with your DH and have him be responsible for the dinner one night a week, even if he just picks up pizza.

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  • kcisthebombdotcomkcisthebombdotcom member

    It doesn't have to be all or nothing.

    I used to work part time days in my field prior to having kids but found it was too difficult to manage 2 kids' therapies with my work schedule even though my employer was flexible. I resigned and now I waitress on Fri/Sun nights 6p-11p now. I'm home all day everyday to manage the therapies/monitor everything yet I still bring something financially to the household. I realize that it's going to hurt me in terms of long-term career prospects but with my DD struggling so much it just doesn't make sense for me to work (in the traditional sense anyway).

    Would you consider something like that?

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  • pastaladypastalady member
    imageKC_13:

    It doesn't have to be all or nothing.

    I used to work part time days in my field prior to having kids but found it was too difficult to manage 2 kids' therapies with my work schedule even though my employer was flexible. I resigned and now I waitress on Fri/Sun nights 6p-11p now. I'm home all day everyday to manage the therapies/monitor everything yet I still bring something financially to the household. I realize that it's going to hurt me in terms of long-term career prospects but with my DD struggling so much it just doesn't make sense for me to work (in the traditional sense anyway).

    Would you consider something like that?

    This is me too! I work part time (2-3 nights a week). I get out of the house, bring home some money and still can arrange all DD's appointments. Life is still hectic and I am even thinking of being just full time at home. However, my job is low stress (retail chocolate shop) and I do bring home enough that it's our fun money. 

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    Diagnosed with autism this year and doing great!
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