Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: had an emergancy c-section got pregnant 4 months later
I am in upstate NY too and I second this.
I would just do the C-section if that's what they recommend. What was the reason for your E-C-S? The doctor could probably actually have a valid reason for not wanting to attempt it. PM me if you need to talk.
I had a C-section last year after a failed induction (My daughter is almost 2 now.) and I'm having another CS Friday. I'm slightly nervous but my other CS went smoothly. It's nervewracking to think about how you'll be awake but it goes by super fast. Why won't they let your husband in the room with you?
Where upstate are you two? I'm upstate, too, and my OB is very VBAC friendly, even though I will probably opt for a RCS. I'm not sure I would attempt a VBAC so soon after a c-section; you have to give your body enough time to heal and recover from the surgery.
Also, I had an emergency c-section for my last one, and I was awake the whole time. It's not that big a deal, you can't feel anything anyway, and they use the big blue curtain so you can't see it either (unless you ask, of course, they offered me a mirror and I said NO WAY).
All this. I went to two practices in upstate NY during my pregnancy with DS (I moved around the end of the second tri), one in Rochester and one in Ithaca, and they were both very VBAC friendly, though I ultimately chose an RCS. Of course upstate NY is big and neither area may be convenient to you, but there may be options depending on where you located. I'm not sure how many OBs would support a VBAC so soon after a previous c/s, though.
I was awake for both my c-sections and don't really remember them placing the spinal either time. I think they apply a local anesthetic first so you don't really even feel it. DD was an emergency c/s, DS was planned, and the second one was a much more relaxing and positive experience than the first.
It's not that bad
Same here- emergency C-section, only my 2nd pregnancy happened 6 months later. My OB had recommended a year from C-section to getting pregnant again, but everything turned out fine. When I went in for my first prenatal appt. he said "Things happen, it will be okay." However, we will be MUCH more careful this time around! I don't want it to happen so soon again!
If your doctor does not recommend a VBAC, especially this close to a c-section, then I would follow his orders.
My OB recommended that I wait 2 years before giving birth in any way after my c-section (so waiting at least 15 months before getting pregnant again), to give my uterus plenty of time to heal, and that was knowing already that a VBAC was not an option for me.
BFP 12/19/08- DS born 8/25/09 9lbs2oz via Zavanelli Maneuver
BFP 8/26/11- Missed miscarriage discovered 10/19/11 at 11w2d, measured at 9 weeks gestation w/ no HB. D&C 10/21/11
BFP 3/17/12 at 12dpo CP 3/21/12
BFP 4/23/12 at 10dpo Stick my little one! Beta #1: 83.3 @ 13dpo Beta #2: 197.7 @ 15dpo
Our little man is getting bigger every day!
My BFP Chart
Don't be afraid of being awake! A planned c-section is completely different than an unexpected one. Your DH may not be able to be in the room for the spinal (I don't know yet whether my DH will be able to or not, I've never had a planned CS either), but he will get to be there when the baby is born, and you will get to hear the baby's first cries, which will be amazing.
BFP 12/19/08- DS born 8/25/09 9lbs2oz via Zavanelli Maneuver
BFP 8/26/11- Missed miscarriage discovered 10/19/11 at 11w2d, measured at 9 weeks gestation w/ no HB. D&C 10/21/11
BFP 3/17/12 at 12dpo CP 3/21/12
BFP 4/23/12 at 10dpo Stick my little one! Beta #1: 83.3 @ 13dpo Beta #2: 197.7 @ 15dpo
Our little man is getting bigger every day!
My BFP Chart
I had to read OP like 3 times.
I also am in upstate NY, not so much is it the drs, but what is best for you and the baby. They will bring your husband in before baby is born, but you can also ask for something safe for anxiety if you are that scared, it is ok to be. Do a little research into C-sections and why they advise on having new babies so some, yes it was not planned and you can sometimes do only so much to plan against it, but your incision really is not going to be healed properly, so be very careful as you start to get bigger. Read up on this and I promise you will feel much better. I also wanted to try a Vbac and my dr said ok, but I unfortunately have full placenta previa again so that is not an option for me. That is where the placenta covers the cervix and it happened with our last one so I am a little more prepared. But always remember that what we would like is not always best and the more knowledge that you have and ask questions the better you will feel.