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sjones771
member
BM put EPO on SO. Need Advice.
sjones771
member
Long story short, last year BM kept SS away from my SO for three weeks because "she feared for his life." They went to court, the judge ruled no reason for keeping SS away, and things have continued as before.
Today, SO had to go to BM's house with a police escort to get his son. He gave her a chance to respond to his email asking where his son was and what he was sick with as he wasn't at school [we found out he wasn't at school by calling the teacher, and we do not have he phone number as she refuses to give it to us]. While he was waiting on said escort, BM calls the police and puts out an EPO, saying he is armed and dangerous and she feels unsafe, he has a history of aggression and abusiveness, SS has told her and her bf he doesn't like daddy, SS told the pediatrician daddy chokes and hits him, SS has come home with various bruises and two black eyes, and lastly that SS has been acting out in class the past two weeks [badly too, saying he will kill a student] which he has, but we were informed on Monday and went to school within 20 minutes to talk to SS teacher and therapist. Also, SS is 5 and has aspergers. His ability to communicate is very, very low. He would never be able to claim those things.
SO is going to court for the EPO, which will be denied as all her claims are false and she doesn't even have proof. The pediatrician and teacher/therapist are being subpoenaed. Seeing as BM has done this before, refuses to communicate with SO, gone to mediation and agreed to things only to back out on them later, among numerous other things, would it be wise to go to court for full custody? Not taking SS away from her, but allowing him to have primary residence with us and allowing SO to be able to make his decisions regarding medical care, school and such? She has never informed us of anything regarding doctors visits, enrolling him in school, she doesn't even acknowledge he has autism.
Any advice would help. Sorry it's so long.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: BM put EPO on SO. Need Advice.
First of all, I am sorry you're dealing with that. It sounds awful.
I don't really know how EPO or police escort works, but couldn't the officer have just shown up and verified that your SO was no armed or displaying aggression? Esp since this was not the first time she's made false accusations?
I think it would be a good idea to ask for primary custody, but be warned that it will probably be a very expensive and frustrating fight.
Good luck.
I'm not sure how to do this, but can you talk to the prosecutor and see if they will file charges about her filing a false police report?
Also, you might post on the special needs board. I would think that if she is denying he has autism you can file for full custody based on the fact that SS NEEDS early intervvention! And that every year that goes by that he does not have help is wasted and puts him further into a (social / academic / emotional) hole that he cannot get out of.
Absolutely file for full custody. The worst that can happen is you won't get it, but you will get court-ordered "rules" in place. Then when she violates them you file for contempt.
I agree with speaking to someone about filing harassment charges or getting her charged with filing a false report.
When I asked an officer if there was any way I could file for a restraining order/protection order he said I'd have to go through the court...I forget which office I was supposed to go through. I ended up not filing because I needed more evidence...
However she could have asked for the police escort to set herself up for an emergency protection order so when she walks into court she could say I had to do x,y,z and here is the police report to prove it. That could have enough proof for an EPO for however many months until actual court where they review all the evidance, witnesses ect. (at least this is how I understood it)
However if you want to go for full custody when you go into court for the EPO hearing it is not the same court as family/domestic court. This is not when you want to bring up gaining full custody as these judges are not the same ones who decide what's best for the child. You'll need to file for full custody through family/domestic court and have a judge review everything there. You'll want to get the EPO taen care of first then file and gather as much evidance as possible, notes from drs about the child's mental health, what interventions he needs, medications, ect. A judge will review your evidance, witnesses, history, ect then decide what is best.
Thank you for all the advice. Apparently BM had filed the EPO [emergency protective order] as my SO was on his way to her house to wait for an escort. Since the EOP was already in order, he was not allowed within 500 ft. of his son, BM, of his son's school. SO called up his lawyer and we're getting the EPO taken care of. We are both hoping to get full custody of SS. She may not be an unfit mother, but she's certainly not looking out for his best interests.
Also, we found out today that SS had a doctor visit that wasn't a well check like we thought. BM and her boyfriend took SS to see the doctor because they were worried about his aggression in school. The BF told the doctor that SS has said daddy hits him etc. The EPO says my SS told the doc, not the bf told the doc.
This is a mess!!!!