I just finished decorating our tree. Alone. DH was trying to put our toddler to sleep and its been up for a week so I just wanted it done. It was my choice but it made me even more sad. Half the ornaments are memories. I just kept thinking sad things like about my dad dying, or my DH dying... Our marriage has been rocky for awhile now. We are working on it and I believe we have what it takes to fix it, but having a newborn and toddler isn't helping us get there. Just too much distraction and chaos. I had and beat breast cancer last year. I have a history of depression and anxiety. It all just feels like its piling up on my sleep deprivation. I'm ebf which is really important to me after the cancer so I can't go back on antidepressants. I was on Effexor when I found out I was pg. It was the only med I have taken that works. Ugh... I'm just so tired of feeling sad and like no one around me can understand. I need to get back to counseling but haven't decided if its useful knowing DS would be with me...
Thanks for being here and letting me get it off my chest. I know you ladies understand.
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