One and (very) done!

letzgoracing81 · December 2012

I saw a few posts where other mothers have stated this is their 'one and only' pregnancy, I was surprised...I guess I felt like I was the only 'one and done' person around.

I am 38 yrs old and this is my first pregnancy. It was very much NOT planned. I always have been one of those 'Child-free by choice' people and was shocked to find myself pregnant last July 4th:)

My decision to go through with my pregnancy was not because of some maternal need...more a decision based on circumstance. I figured that this might be my only chance to have kids--given my age....might as well go through with it. My matter-of-fact decision has turned into a very deep and real love for my beautiful Baby Boy. (if that makes sense at all)

I am a little surprised by the number of people who ask me if I plan to have more kids. I am a little confused by this question....considering I am not done baking the 1st one! LOL I just shake my head no and smile.

starlee_99 · December 2012

I am 41 and just had my one and only. I had my tubes tied so this factory is closed. I am just thankful that I got my 1 healthy beautiful baby girl!!

danieleandwayne · December 2012

I have a handful of friends who are one and done-- mostly for financial reasons. For me, I want a boy and a girl. I want my children to have siblings because I appreciate mine so much and I want my kids to have family supports when I'm no longer around. I also want an insurance kid-- you know, in case I screw up the first one or something horrible happens to one. (Yeah, I'm that kind of macabre.)

But, that being said-- I'm a HUGE proponent of not having kids you don't want. So if you don't want more than one, I would never tell someone to change their minds or pressure them about not having more.

Abeille · December 2012

Nothing wrong with just one, I have friends who made that choice. I also have others who changed their minds when their child was 2 or 3. I had absolutely no desire for a 2nd until my daughter was nearly 2. This will be it for us.

As for the "are you going to have another?" ....it won't end any time soon.

MT-Head · December 2012

My SIL and her husband were "one and done." She had her son when she was 38 or 39, the same age I'll be when I have my second. Hubby and I decided we are "two and through."

Oh, and everyone was completely surprised when we told them we were having the first one, since we'd been married for almost 10 years and had just never tried before then. I think everyone just assumed that because I was a "career woman" I didn't want kids. We just didn't feel ready until we were a bit older, then we stopped actively avoiding pregnancy and started trying to get pregnant.

lovelyday39 · December 2012

MT-Head:
My SIL and her husband were "one and done." She had her son when she was 38 or 39, the same age I'll be when I have my second. Hubby and I decided we are "two and through."

Oh, and everyone was completely surprised when we told them we were having the first one, since we'd been married for almost 10 years and had just never tried before then. I think everyone just assumed that because I was a "career woman" I didn't want kids. We just didn't feel ready until we were a bit older, then we stopped actively avoiding pregnancy and started trying to get pregnant.

Same here, but married for 8 years. It's funny to me that people make such assumptions based on zero fact or information. Not that I would have wanted to have a discussion about said choice w/anyone prior to me actually being pregnant.

Country Girl in the City · December 2012

We were married for 13 years before I got pregnant. Most people assumed that I was a career woman. In reality, I was too sick to get pregnant and in the end it cost me $60,000 plus what my insurance covered (maybe another $30,000) to get this one. If anyone asked, I was very open about my situation but most people just went on the assumption that my job was my life.

When I get asked if we are having more, I ask the person if they are going to give me another $60,000 to pay for it.

ukmisgirl · December 2012

We had our first, a girl, at 34 after 13yrs of marriage and for sure I was one and done. Fast forward 8yrs at 43yrs of age and 20yrs of marriage, we decided to try for just one more, thinking it would probably not happen. How wrong was I, I immediately got pregnant and now we have a 6wk old bouncing baby boy! I'm so happy, blessed, overjoyed with our new addition, he's the one that almost got away : )

letzgoracing81 · December 2012

danieleandwayne:
I want my children to have siblings because I appreciate mine so much and I want my kids to have family supports when I'm no longer around.

I understand what you are saying. I am extremely close with my family and I cannot imagine life without my sisters or brother. Because my siblings so easily 'mass produced' (lol) My Baby boy is lucky enough to have a dozen cousins...all under the age of 9 yrs old. (Yup...holidays are 'controlled chaos' in my family...won't hurt to add one more to the bunch

technigirl · December 2012

danieleandwayne:
I have a handful of friends who are one and done-- mostly for financial reasons. For me, I want a boy and a girl. I want my children to have siblings because I appreciate mine so much and I want my kids to have family supports when I'm no longer around. I also want an insurance kid-- you know, in case I screw up the first one or something horrible happens to one. (Yeah, I'm that kind of macabre.)

But, that being said-- I'm a HUGE proponent of not having kids you don't want. So if you don't want more than one, I would never tell someone to change their minds or pressure them about not having more.

This! I thought I was the only one whose reasoning for 2 kids involved having a "spare". I know it's a horrible thought but you never know what could happen. When I had my daughter, I wasn't sure if I'd want another one (especially in the middle of those first few months). And yeah - it's surprising the number of people who ask this question when the first one is not yet done baking, or just out of the oven! Anyways after a while things got easier and...it started to sound good. I want her to have someone to complain about me to when she gets older. I want her to have someone that understands in the unfortunate event that I, like my mother, get Alzheimer's when I'm only 60.

That said I could totally see having only one, and I know that I would have been 100% happy with just having my daughter if I could not have had any more kids. It's totally a personal decision and I am glad that you have been able to make a decision that makes sense for you and that you have peace with.

Melissa

soaringflutes · December 2012

I am 41 and pregnant with my one and only. Even if I wanted to have another, time isn't on my side, and I know that. I feel very lucky that I could get pregnant after only trying for 2 months, and my baby was very planned. Though if he/she weren't, I'd still love it just the same.

It's nice to see others here that only are having one.

EB91607 · December 2012

I am 44 and took 5 years to get me here...I will be one and done due to my age..

I at times feel bad because my child will not have a sibling , but I have been researching it and having a sibling in and of itself is no guarantee that the 2 will be close..I am just hoping that my child will form wonderful friendships throughout her life and never long for a sibling...

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