Anxiety about child's safety

hollerjeepgirl · December 2012

Hi all. It's been about a year or so since I last posted. I was wondering if any other mom's are having anxiety about taking their child to daycares because of the CT tragedies? My son just turned 2 and I have nothing but anxiety thinking, "Today may be the day some psycho tries to outdo Lanza and come in to my son's daycare." I seriously had a panic attack walking in to Target to buy groceries with him.

Tomorrow is pajama day at his school and I'm so scared that he'll die in his pajamas tomorrow. How horrible is that?!! I cant even enjoy the fact that he gets to wear pajamas anymore. :

His daycare is in a nice area, but from what I've heard, law enforcement is staying near elementary schools in our area, not daycares. The thought still crosses my mind. Sure, his daycare has a keypad to enter, but also has glass windows and doors.

The logical part of me says to not let these a holes get the best of you because that means they're winning. However, the illogical side is flipping out. These tragedies taught me to love my baby and to seriously treat my son in the best way possible so he'd remember nothing but love if something were to happen to any of us. Not that i didn't before, but you get the point. I wish it didn't take something of this magnitude to do so but hey, I'm only human.

How are any of you other mom's getting through this dark time? How do you overcome these illogical feelings? I'm hoping I'm not the only worrywart out there!

TiffanyBerry · December 2012

If it's causing you difficulty functioning, I would absolutely talk to a professional about it, so that you can learn coping mechanisms for dealing with these sorts of things.

Honestly, your child had a FAR greater chance of being killed in the car on your way to Target. And yet we don't freak out about those sorts of things.... well, for a number of reasons, some good, some bad. It's normal to worry, just not normal for it to take over your life.

I know there is nothing I could do to prevent whatever unexpected, rare tragedy were it to come up. That's the whole point. And I would do my daughter a FAR greater disservice to make her live in fear, closeted away from the world, due to infinitesimally small chances. And what if I did that, and then something bad still happened? She'd have a short, unhappy life, rather than a short, happy one. So, just like I want her life - however long it may be - to be happy, I have to live the same way.

hollerjeepgirl · December 2012

Thanks Tiffany, I think that's exactly what I needed to hear. If I could afford to talk to a professional I would. Unfortunately, we don't have mental coverage. I do have insurance people I can call to consult me for free though. I'll call them this week. The last time I saw a psychologist was after DS was born to diagnose PTSD. I've never had a good way of coping with tragedy. My parents were pretty shielding when I was younger, I think that was part of it.

I agree though. I don't let the anxiety consume me all day, every day. Just little pieces...but I do not let it interfere with how I treat my son. I think it is harder for parents because although a car wreck is more likely to happen, we all like to think that it could never happen to us. Same thing with the CT shooting. But there were multiple people and the media has done nothing but throw it in our faces. I'll def never shield him, we try to make the best of our lives as is. I just needed a reminder to enjoy those moments so thank you :

TiffanyBerry:
If it's causing you difficulty functioning,nbsp; I would absolutely talk to a professional about it, so that you can learn coping mechanisms for dealing with these sorts of things.Honestly, your child had a FAR greater chance of being killed in the car on your way to Target.nbsp; And yet we don't freak out about those sorts of things.... well, for a number of reasons, some good, some bad.nbsp; It's normal to worry, just not normal for it to take over your life.I know there is nothing I could do to prevent whatever unexpected, rare tragedy were it to come up.nbsp; That's the whole point.nbsp; And I would do my daughter a FAR greater disservice to make her live in fear, closeted away from the world, due to infinitesimally small chances.nbsp; And what if I did that, and then something bad still happened?nbsp; She'd have a short, unhappy life, rather than a short, happy one.nbsp; So, just like I want her life however long it may be to be happy, I have to live the same way. nbsp;

mrsseguin · December 2012

I also have anxiety issues. It's difficult to deal with. While this incident doesn't trigger my anxiety, it is hard not to think about 'what if this is the last time I ever see my child alive' type thing. I've just been holding my kids close and appreciating them even more than I did before.

Counseling really helps. Although your not hiding in a closet all day thinking something bad will happen, it can be mentally debilitating. It consumes your thoughts. You know their irrational thoughts, but sometimes it can seem so real. I'd look into whatever you can about even talking to someone a few times, it will help. Good for you about being open about it...it feels good to 'talk' about it even if it's through internet forums.

acaudill75 · December 2012

Holler, you can PM for some tips on dealing with anxiety. I have Panic Disorder, and have dealt with it for almost 20 years. People with anxiety disorders go into fight or flight mode over what if scenarios most people can't even imagine. I get what you are going through. I have cried for the mothers of those children (and the adults too), but I know that sometimes, you have to push that what if it were my child thought away. Let it go. Seek help, because although it was a terrible tragedy, and we as a nation are still reeling from it, your reaction is a bit extreme, and I think you realize that. Best of luck.

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