PGAL: Anxiety between appointments-Longish

Hailes81 · December 2012

Are any of the other PGALs on the board struggling with anxiety between appointments? I keep wondering if baby's heart is still beating...I have no reason to believe it is not...my previous losses have all been very early in 1st tri, never had a baby in the ute before this pregnancy.

I have been feeling good (thank you 2nd tri) which makes me nervous. I don't think I have felt baby move yet, also makes me nervous ( I know this is totally normal at this stage for a FTM). I need to get a grip. I ordered a fetal stethoscope which should be here tomorrow which I am hoping will help me to settle down. My last appointment was 12/5 and my next one, which is the a/s scan, is 1/8...all my other appointments were really close together as the doc wanted to be sure the baby was in the ute and developing so I have been fortunate to not go more than 2wks between appointments/seeing or hearing baby prior to this stretch.

Any words of encouragement (or kicks in the ass) as well as anxiety coping strategies would be greatly appreciated. I am driving myself and H nuts.

bumpuser8448316 · December 2012

I feel the same way, and I often find myself saying things like, "if the baby still has a heartbeat at the next appointment... " It's terrible, but it's so hard to be positive after a loss. My previous losses were at 7w and 10w3d (D&C at 11w) so we had confirmed heartbeats. It was also hard for me this time around because with my first loss, I started spotting and my HCG started dropping so we knew it was coming. With my second, I was totally blindsided at my ultrasound when baby didn't have a heartbeat.

The only thing I can say is that you just have to trust that everything is okay.

brissiegirl · December 2012

Ugh, I feel the same as you. I've been anxious all day with no reason to be other than I've felt like hell for the last two months and today I actually felt normal. I just keep telling myself to stop being ridiculous - I wish I had some better coping strategies to offer you. But I do know how you feel, and I hope we get a grip of ourselves soon

WifeofaComposer · December 2012

QueSyrah:
I feel the same way, and I often find myself saying things like, "if the baby still has a heartbeat at the next appointment... " It's terrible, but it's so hard to be positive after a loss. My previous losses were at 7w and 10w3d (D&C at 11w) so we had confirmed heartbeats. It was also hard for me this time around because with my first loss, I started spotting and my HCG started dropping so we knew it was coming. With my second, I was totally blindsided at my ultrasound when baby didn't have a heartbeat.
The only thing I can say is that you just have to trust that everything is okay.

My first loss was 7 years ago - started with spotting at 6 weeks and blood work at 7 weeks confirmed a drop in HCG, and the miscarriage was naturally completed by week 8. I gave birth to DS1 2 years after that. I didn't worry much during that pregnancy because it was fairly normal to lose a first pregnancy. Then, DH and I were expecting this past May which turned out to be a chemical pregnancy, and then pregnant again in June. The June pregnancy seemed normal - very sick and exhausted all the time, numbers climbing steadily, etc. - but then, at the 11 week check up in August, there was no heartbeat at 10w4d. I had a D&C and evacuation at 11 weeks. I've been a nervous wreck this whole pregnancy so far, even though everything is perfect, and our baby has a strong heartbeat. I'm just getting over the flu, and now being treated for a severe sinus infection, and I can't help but worry that the baby doesn't feel well either. It's so difficult to stay calm when the past has had heartache.

Hailes81 · December 2012

Thanks ladies, I appreciate your responses and camaraderie. My doc is really cool and when my H mentioned to her that I get anxious between appointments she invited me to call and ask to come hear the heartbeat in the office whenever I needed to. I feel like a crazy person but I just may take her up on that offer this week..GL to all of you and try to keep calm and positive, I'll be thinking of you.

pinktrojanbride120107 · December 2012

I could've written that post myself -- we have very similar time-lines with our current pregnancies!

My worry has gone down somewhat now that we're in 2nd tri, but I also realized that my anxiety would kick into high gear a few days before my next appointment (which isn't until January.)

Purchasing my doppler to listen in on baby's heartbeat has helped quelch the worry tremendously. Otherwise, just lots of prayers.

HisPromisIsTrue · December 2012

My two losses were 10 years ago and 20 years ago. At 38 and after trying for so long, I sometimes worry that this is my last chance. I had bad bleeding in my first trimester (twice) that ended up being a bacterial infection, and in my second trimester, I started spotting with no diagnosis at this time.

worry is a constant battle for me, I worry when I feel good because I don't have pregnancy symptoms, I worry even more when I spot, I worry In between appointments because a month seems too long. I am right here with you.

The only thing that keeps me Sane is turning my worries into prayers. Instead of internalizing the things on my mind, I speak the thinks on my mind to God. I do my very best (which isn't always easy) to give Him my burdens in this way.

hang in the sister, praying for you for peace .

flerlgirl · December 2012

This my first pregnancy but I am feeling the same way if that helps! I think a lot of us are in that boat... so close to feeling movement but it feels sooooo far away. I hope you are able to relax soon and enjoy your Christmas. One thing that helps me relax is literally peace and quiet... I grab a book, go upstairs, put extra bubbles in my bath, and just lay there. I leave my phone somewhere I can't hear it ring and just have some time for an hour. It really helps. Good luck!

lioness13 · December 2012

I feel your pain. I keep thinking the same thing. Even though I just heard the heartbeat last week and never got that far before I still feel a little apprehension about sharing it with our whole family on Christmas. And I am showing so even though its a small bump it would be noticeable to my family. My doc and DH talked me out of getting a doppler. I am just trying to have faith. That's all I can do...and count down the days to my next appointment! LOL

kel71883 · December 2012

I totally understand and feel the same way. I keep telling myself to be positive and enjoy the pregnancy, but I always have worries in the back of my mind. I've contemplated getting a home Doppler but I would probably drive myself crazy with it.

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