- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
October 2011 Moms
Nita2603
member
Testes Tuesday
Nita2603
member
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Testes Tuesday
DH is playing down everything all the time.
Emergency c/s? Meh, not that urgent. Baby's heart failing? Oh, he is perfectly fine. Me needing two units of blood? Oh, that is common. Aidan's reflux? Getting better. Colic? Oh well, not the end of the world.
Whatever happens, it is never a big deal. As if he would have to be embarrassed if it was a big deal. It drives me nuts. Especially when someone asks and I answer and he them feels the need to jump in and let everyone know it's no big deal.
Then there is laziness. Just because he is tired does not mean we skip dinner for Alastair. Who does that?!
Also, I am annoyed at him for Christmas. I really don't care about Christmas. It has never been a good time for me. But I want it to be a good time for the kids. Well, we still have no tree. When I told him yesterday we should do that now, after he had avoided it for two weeks he told me he didn't feel it necessary and did not want the hassle. I cannot wait to hear what his parents think about that. I didn't want anything big. But something for the kids to look at.
I also think that I may have ppd. I have been blown off several times about it. I know he has been under a lot of pressure lately but I am getting to suffer for it and we need to have a talk about that.
Nita, I am sorry your DH is being so terrible. My DH blew off my possible PPD also and that made it so much worse for me. Hugs! Please do go talk to your doctor if you think you have PPD.
DH and DD are both sick. All three of us have been passing the same cold around for weeks. DH is home from work, but DD was better enough she went to daycare today. I just got a call that she has a fever and needs to be picked up, so DH is going to get her. DH is such a pansy when it comes to being sick that I can't even take his whining seriously. He was home with DD yesterday and he let he destroy the house. I came home to every piece of every toy thrown around, cat food dumped out all over the floor and tissues ripped up into tiny tiny pieces everywhere. I can only imagine what I will find when i get home today.
Oh Nita, big hugs to you! Definitely talk to your OB if you feel you are struggling whether your H is acting supportive or not. This is one of my fears because I mentioned before DD was born that I was concerned about getting PPD and his response was, "Well, don't." I think he thought it would lighten the mood, but it made me feel like I wouldn't be taken seriously and that's not okay.
I'm sorry he's being such a bum in general. Have you talked about how alone you're feeling in all of this?
My general complaint is DH is so clueless sometimes I don't know how he functions during the day without me.
Specific Complaint #1-He gets up in the mornings and works out before work, this is great and I am not complaining about this. His gym is at his job so he just stays there and showers and goes straight to work, again not complaining about this. The problem is that he works out 7 days a week, which means that he NEVER has to deal with H while trying to get ready in the morning. Every morning I leave her breakfast bowl on the counter because I don't have time to wash it while I am trying to get her and I together and out the door and make sure the dogs are ok for the day. He complains when he gets home that the house is a mess. Well no sh*t, I am trying to get myself ready, take care of two dogs, and make sure our DD is alive by myself every morning.
Specific Complaint #2-He is the biggest baby when he doesn't feel well. He may be coming down with the stomach bug I had a week ago, maybe. He said he was feeling queasy last night. Ok, well apparently that means he has to go lay in bed and not move all night. Fine, he seems to have forgotten that when I was sick so was H (the worst she has ever been sick) and I was home taking care of her by myself while he was at work. Why do you ask could he not stay home and take care of both of us...because he is saving his vacation days so he can take off 10 days straight from Christmas Eve to New Years. Oh, and last night H was coughing pretty good and kept waking herself up so I was up with her until 2AM! What was his response, "sorry I couldn't help last night". He just emailed me that he is still feeling queasy at work so he is going to leave at noon, but it suck because now he only gets 1/2 of the day after new years off instead of the whole day, boo f*cking who. He asked me if I wanted him to bring me lunch from McDs. I said no but I have leftover chinese food in the fridge if he could heat that up for me and bring it to my office 1/2 miles away. His response, "that is a lot to ask of a sick guy." So I told him never mind I would just leave my office and go home and heat up my food myself, and he says well don't be mad at me. Don't be mad at me, don't worry buddy I am beyond mad right now. I am sure I will go home and the house will be in the same messy state as when I left this morning and he will ask me what I have planned to make for dinner.
Oh, and did I mention that he wants to work late every night this week because he has work he needs to get done and he won't be able to do it for the next two weeks because again, HE WILL BE ON VACATION! Sometimes I want to strangle him.
Oh, and he was also pissed this morning because he decided to give E her morning bottle while I took a shower, but she wouldn't take milk from him. She probably assumed that her mommy was dead or otherwise incapacitated since those are the only two reasons that DH would normally contribute to her care like that. Seriously, he's probably given her less than 10 bottles in her life. What kind of reception does he expect?
I know that when we're complaining here we can make things out to be worse than they are, but DrWorm this really concerns me. If this is "normal" behaviour for your H, I think that he has some major anger management issues and should be seeing someone about it. And maybe it's for the best that he doesn't interact with E very much, since I wouldn't trust someone who acts that way to be around my baby much.
Nita, I'm sorry your H is downplaying everything. Maybe it's to deal with his own feelings of helplessness? Most men want to be able to "fix" everything, and all of those issues are beyond his ability to fix. I hope that having a frank discussion about it will help, and that he'll be supportive of trying to deal with your potential PPD. And I hope you managed to get ready for the photo, because in years to come you will love having that beautiful family photo. You and your boys will be very happy to have it then, even if you aren't so happy right now.
leahandbuck, it's time to give DH a morning alone with H. Make up some excuse for why you need to be in to work early so he has to skip the gym for that day and deal with getting himself and H ready by himself. And if he doesn't get the picture after that one morning, that new thing you had to do at work just became a weekly thing. Even if he's still not sympathetic about how hard it is, at least you'll get one morning a week to only worry about getting yourself ready and then go get yourself a coffee or something and relax.
BFP #1: July 12, 2010 Natural M/C: July 26, 2010
BFP #2: January 30 ,2011 Born: September 29, 2011
BFP #3: January 5, 2013 Born: August 25, 2013
BFP #1: July 12, 2010 Natural M/C: July 26, 2010
BFP #2: January 30 ,2011 Born: September 29, 2011
BFP #3: January 5, 2013 Born: August 25, 2013
I am annoyed with SO that he has yet to cancel the DirecTV....we are paying over $120 a month for a channel that DirecTv cancelled a few months ago, then brought back in standard definition and in Spanish. Ummm...sorry, I don't speak Spanish! He has been threatening for months to get rid of it since we can get all of our shows through Hulu Plus for like $10 a month, and the AppleTV...which was a one time fee of $100. Last night he mentioned that he feels like all he does is get up, work, watch some tv, and then go to bed....and throw in doing things for others...birthday parties, dinners, etc. He says we don't do enough for ourselves. We have been on one date, just the two of us, since Gator was born. Any other time we get a sitter and go out, it for things with friends so we aren't alone just the two of us.
but I will look past all that because I just found out he used some of his points from a company and got me a Shark Vac & Steam, which I have been wanting for over a year since now our whole house is hardwood. As it turns out, you can ask until you are blue in the face....but if you borrow IL's and have him use it while you are cleaning the house....he will realize that is $400 vacuum is way too tall for hardwood (it just flings everything around underneath and shoots it out the front, back and sides), and he will see how awesome the Shark is......lol
DH is haveing MS issues. They are mild but they are there and they have been going on for a while. Will he call his doctor about them? No. Why? Because he is supposed to speak to a nurse before he call the doctor. When he was diagnosed he was given a nurse to call if he had questions, was worried or just needed to talk. She is really sweet and walked us through the stress of the diagnosis, was there for his spinal tap and all of that. So when these issues came up a few weeks ago he called and found out that she was on Mat leave. He got her replacement who hasn't worked in the MS clinic for very long. She said, "If the symptom lasts for more than 72 hours call me." He called back, "I dunno let's see if it lasts for a week. I mean sometimes you can have a fake attack that isn't an attack." He is now afraid that if he calls again after three weeks she is going to tell him it's a fake attack. Except here is the thing. He was told to call at the onset of an attack so they can do some tests. He "Keeps forgetting" to tell the nurse this. Also they said that because his first attack was so severe that they wanted him in early so they can give treatments (dunno what the treatment is) to try to prevent more permanent damage.
ASide from being worried about him I am now pissed at him because it has resulted in him giving my new van that i have only had for 3 months, a serious case of garage rash. I said I want to call the insurance company but he won't let me because he "wants to save the insurance for major claims" Fine, except now I have to drive a banged up van for a couple of months until we can afford to fix it and it may mean no vacation.
When it happened I wasn't pissed. It could happen to anyone. But then he spent hours complaining about how he is having issues and it upsets him. When I said, "You need to call the doctor again." he said, "they are going to tell me it's nothing so why bother?" So what? IS he going to wait until he can't walk before he makes the call? If they can do something to prevent that from happening why the hell not pick up the effing phone and demand to speak to the doctor and not the nurse who doesn't seem to give a crap about even reading DH's file that says he is to see the doctor immediately if an event is even suspected. And DH won't grow enough spine to tell her what the doctor said.
Can you not call for him??
I call for DH all the time to book appts or if he has a problem. I have called to explain and agrue with the nurses and doctors on his behalf . He nevers calls anyone.
If he wont grow a pair i would call and talk to the nurse or doctor myself. You are his wife and seem to know better than your dh.
Sammy-Mae: I am with mrsgabus.....can you call for him? Symptoms of MS always make me nervous. My SIL has it and has had a month where she went blind (her sight came back, but only in one eye). She has a lot of symptoms come when the weather is too warm. But she keeps in constant contact with her doctor. If your husband isn't willing to call, is he willing to write down his symptoms? If he could keep a journal of different symptoms starting and stopping, then he won't have to call all of the time but he can have them written down and refer back to for when he does finally go to the doctor. Instead of saying "a few weeks ago I got really dizzy and then a few days after that, I lost feeling in part of my arm..." He can have exact dates and say "on Nov 4th, I got dizzy and it stayed until the 6th. But then on the 8th, I lost feeling in my arm..." Etc.
I'm sorry to hear this! Don't be an idiot like I was a suffer through it - call your Dr. When we think back about the first few weeks/months of Preston's life, DH finds it absolutely necessary to say "remember when you were really crazy". Fruck you! I couldn't help it! Jerk.
On Sunday, I was head over the toilet ill with morning sickness and could barely move. Of course, the night before, he got more drunk than I have ever seen him, EVER. So, he was way too hung over to take care of Li. The one frickin' day I needed him to be on.
He also always thinks he tells me things when he doesn't. Then, when I comment on it or ask about it, he says, "I already told you that". No, buddy, you didn't, I'm not that forgetful, I actually have a pretty good memory! So, I told him a while ago, even if you think you already told me, tell me again. He said, OK. Two minutes ago, his best friend calls and I said, "you can tell Alan about the pregnancy". He says, "I already did, I told you that". No, dyckhead, you didn't!!!!!