curious on how others deal with family not respecting their decisions

shellmom22 · December 2012

We recently started having problems with family not respecting our decisions and thinking we are going to be doing the wrong thing for our child. I want to breast feed if I can, we want to CD, we don't want our child exposed to smoking or held by drunk people even if they are family members, we respectfully declined using the crib my grandmother was used for her kids, etc.

My newest example - I was on the phone with my Grandmother yesterday and she mentioned how nice it will be to have my mom in the same town as my work so she can watch the baby if I have to go into work on my maternity leave, etc. I said no Mom won't be watching her at her house because she smokes.. Grandma filpped and said people are more important. I calmly told her that I believe my child's health is more important than anyone's feelings. She wouldn't drop it or let me change the subject I just wanted to scream at her or hang up but I was a good girl and just put up with it. This ended up being a 20 minutes conversation where she just repeated people are more important over and over.

Has anyone else had problems with family telling them they are wrong with the decisions they are making for LO? What happened? How did you deal with it?

Sorry it's so long & TIA

lovelyday39 · December 2012

Well you could tell your Gma she's right- people are more important and if your mom cared about you and your child's health and really wanted to watch the child, she would quit smoking. That might've shut her up a little sooner

What a pain!

JSS1002 · December 2012

No. I have not had problems with this, and especially on the topics you mention above (who on earth thinks it is a good idea for a smoking drunk person to hold a baby, regardless of whether they are related or not!?).

But if I did, I imagine I would just say "thanks for your input." And not speak anymore.

danuli8 · December 2012

I would have said, "Yes, people ARE more important, Grandma. My baby is a very important person to me and that's why he won't be forced to inhale cigarette smoke."

Seriously, your grandma is a pain in the rear. So sorry she is being such an idiot. I think the best way to deal with these issues is to be a broken record right back--"My child's health is the most important thing." Repeat it with a smile over and over and over.

I had new neighbors move in across the street. The woman was so thrilled for me that I was pregnant, and she would be glad to watch my baby whenever I needed help! This line was delivered with a cigarette in her hand and her pitbull right behind her. I said with a smile that I would certainly keep her generous offer in mind...and boy howdy, that is the ONLY place it will stay.

NativeFloridian · December 2012

If your family has become that combative of your plans for baby, you'll simply have to stop discussing your plans with them at all, and carry them out as you wish when baby arrives. They'll get with the program pretty quickly when they realize you were serious and they want to spend time with LO.

ETA: As long as you stick to your guns. If you show up to a family thing with LO and tipsy Uncle Gus comes over and holds out his hands, you'll have to be sure to set him straight even if it makes you feel bad.

Also, I highly recommend NOT using witty comebacks with family. You can burn bridges that way, and all you're trying to do is assert your wishes for LO. I stand by the "ignore and do anyway" technique when it comes to family.

shellmom22 · December 2012

Thank you! You are very witty. I wish I would have thought of something like that to say. I don't want to be mean to her but we're not going to change our minds about our child's health being important.

ETA: Meant to quote lovelyday39

shellmom22 · December 2012

I think that is a good idea just saying thanks for your input. Maybe that would have ended the conversation then. Thank you.

shellmom22 · December 2012

I haven't been discussing plans with them. If they ask or bring something up I will answer but I've been sure not to bring anything up anymore.

Thank you for the advice on not using combacks with family. That is a very good point.

What are some ways you have been able to ignore them or what would you say? Thanks for the input or I'll keep that in mind... What seems to work for you?

jeborer · December 2012

JSS1002:
But if I did, I imagine I would just say "thanks for your input." And not speak anymore.

I agree with this. I have had a couple of problems with this. My dad works two jobs so is rarely home, and my mom has said numerous times that she will watch the baby allll the time, etc etc. Well, my mom has a loooong history of medical problems, including one that is currently undiagnosed that causes her to faint randomly, just straight out fall on the floor out of nowhere. I have brought that up to my parents, like "Well, I don't know if I would want to leave LO alone with you, because you might faint and drop/smother baby", etc, and they get angry and say that she won't do that, she hasn't fainted in "months", etc. It annoys me that they don't respect that.

It's not like I'm going to keep my child from my mother. I'm not planning on needing a lot of babysitting anyway, because I'm a SAHM and I'm going to be breastfeeding. I'll still visit her and bring the baby (she's not allowed to drive because of the aforesaid fainting condition) and stuff, but I'm not going to just leave my child there.

There are other issues that people have gotten irked about too, like television (my husband and I have never had cable, etc and rarely even watch movies, but our roommates (my sister and BIL) want the TV on ALL THE TIME (we haven't caved and gotten cable yet tho, they watch Hulu/Netflix/movies) and my parents' TV is NEVER off. I don't want my child exposed to TV much for quite a while) and us using cloth diapers, among other things.

Anyway, I try to just drop the subject.

If I don't want my mother to hold my child, I can just not visit her. And if I don't want my child to watch TV, I can get rid of my TV or I can keep him in the other room. And if I want to cloth diaper my child, what's it matter to others? I'm changing the diapers, washing the diapers, and paying the water bill. Lol rant over! Sorry!

shellmom22 · December 2012

I meant to quote when I responded. First response was to lovelyday39, second was to JSS1002, and third was to NativeFlordian.

Sorry I need to work on my bump skills. I tried to edit them but failed miserably.

Casie13 · December 2012

My goodness, how stressful and annoying! I have also had to deal with family like that. It's tough, but you just have to set your boundaries and stick to it. You will likely have several people say things or even stay angry with you, but you have to do what is best for your child.

whitneylauren · December 2012

Some older people are so stuck in their ways. I had an idiot smoking around me telling me his mom smoked when she was prego with him and he's fine.....

I don't know what you can do besides ignore them, these are YOUR decisions and you will have to stick by them no matter what people say.

Murraydog · December 2012

lovelyday39:
Well you could tell your Gma she's right- people are more important and if your mom cared about you and your child's health and really wanted to watch the child, she would quit smoking. That might've shut her up a little sooner What a pain!

YES! Totally 100% this! I love everything about it.

I'm sorry this is happening and honestly, it only gets worse. The bigger you get the more unsolicited advice you get from friends, family and random strangers. Then when the baby is out, every one has a simple solution for everything. You either drive yourself absolutely crazy or you learn to smile and nod and then go home to your husband and say "OMG CAN YOU BELIEVE WHAT THEY SAID?!?!?!" and you all have a good laugh at it afterwards.

Just stand your ground on everything. It sounds like you are doing a good job of that and the things you're holding fast to are totally reasonable! Soon enough your family will (hopefully!!) get the picture that you are perfectly in control of this situation and that your child is going to be safe and loved above everything else.

randimarie86 · December 2012

I'm glad you posted this, as I have been meaning to post my similar situation. My father or should I say sperm donor is a royal piece of shiit. He is a loser, that has done drugs for the past 25 years. I also experienced a lot of bad things as a child when I was at his house on the weekends no abuse to me. He decided that when I was 8 he wanted to clear his conscience and tell me he did drugs. He would beat the crap out of his girlfriends and as they would beg me to turn my head, he would tell me to watch and not listen to her. Just a couple examples My mother never knew any of this went on or I would not have been anywhere around him, so please don't flame my mom. Anyway, around 13 y/o I decided I didn't want to be around him anymore. So now I see him for holidays at my grandparents. I have maintained a relationship with them. I have said in the past my children will never be left unsupervised with that man, and some how it has gotten back to him and he has told my grandma. Needless to say since I've announced I'm pregnant, he has been trying to be a part of my life.
Well, my grandma calls me the other day asking why I would have said anything like that because 'he is a good man and there is no reason why I can't trust him.' I tried to put her off and tell her it was not her business that it was between he and I. She of course got ticked and upset, bc in her eyes he walks on water. I'm waiting for him to bring it up. Not too sure what all I will say, but I'm trying to mentally prepare myself.
I guess I'm no help, but I do feel your pain.

mypalbabs · December 2012

danuli8:
I would have said, "Yes, people ARE more important, Grandma. My baby is a very important person to me and that's why he won't be forced to inhale cigarette smoke."
Seriously, your grandma is a pain in the rear. So sorry she is being such an idiot. I think the best way to deal with these issues is to be a broken record right back--"My child's health is the most important thing." Repeat it with a smile over and over and over.
I had new neighbors move in across the street. The woman was so thrilled for me that I was pregnant, and she would be glad to watch my baby whenever I needed help! This line was delivered with a cigarette in her hand and her pitbull right behind her. I said with a smile that I would certainly keep her generous offer in mind...and boy howdy, that is the ONLY place it will stay.

Dude, you suck.

lovelyday39 · December 2012

shellmom22:
Thank you! You are very witty. I wish I would have thought of something like that to say. I don't want to be mean to her but we're not going to change our minds about our child's health being important.
ETA: Meant to quote lovelyday39

You're not being mean to anyone by trying to protect your child. And if someone is trying to make you feel this way, they are being emotionally manipulative and controlling.

laurenbell09 · December 2012

lovelyday39:
if your mom cared about you and your child's health and really wanted to watch the child, she would quit smoking.

THIS!!

Yes, unfortunately, I know exactly what you mean.

My mom told me the other day she's taking off a week of work when Ella gets here.... I don't know what she's going to be doing during that week, but DH is home that week and we are spending that week as a family once we return home... not having random drop-ins every time I turn around....

NativeFloridian · December 2012

shellmom22:
I haven't been discussing plans with them. If they ask or bring something up I will answer but I've been sure not to bring anything up anymore.
Thank you for the advice on not using combacks with family. That is a very good point.
What are some ways you have been able to ignore them or what would you say? Thanks for the input or I'll keep that in mind... What seems to work for you?

It's tough to know exactly how to approach every situation because folks like your grandmother are likely to try to probe you and and re-word their questions and so that you end up engaging with them and they can ultimately argue with you. You need a simple way to circumvent the issue when someone brings it up outright.

For instance, if your grandmother breaches the topic of your mother watching your LO again, you may want to simply say, "We've already decided on childcare, and mom knows she's welcome to spend time with us whenever she likes." And leave it at that. She'll likely try to argue more, as that's what most people tend to do, but there's really nothing to argue with in that statement, so you're not obliged to argue back. You can even repeat, 'We've already decided on it," the same way she repeated, "People are important." It's a strategy that works fairly well.

And, really, this format can work for just about any argument. Start with "We've already decided," and either leave it at that or offer up a general and noncommittal tidbit that can't be argued with, like the example above. When the person argues, simply repeat yourself. They'll get mad, sure, but if you're really dead-set on your wishes then they'll just have to learn to deal.

OhSewCrafty · December 2012

shellmom22:
I want to breast feed if I can, we want to CD, we don't want our child exposed to smoking or held by drunk people even if they are family members, we respectfully declined using the crib my grandmother was used for her kids, etc.

How dare you want such things for your baby!!

Uh yeah...dealing with family can be one of the most difficult things there is, but its even more devastating when you give up those things you value and regret it or, god forbid, your child gets sick/injured as a result of one of those things you tried to avoid. At the end of the day, its your child and your choice (your = you and your DH). Its easier said than done, but if grown adults want to throw a fit that they can't balance an ashtray on your kid's head while holding them, just know that there are FAR more people out there that agree with you than them and your LO will be better off in the long run for the battle you fought for their safety/well being.

mlbohannon1120 · December 2012

My dad just within the last month finally quit smoking (for now). Not sure how long it will last, but oh well. We had this battle with them before DD1. I set a very clear boundary that she will never stay at their house nor spend the night if he continues to smoke - especially in the house.

They are more than welcome to come visit us in our home whenever they like. At first, they took it a bit harshly, but I think they've come to accept and respect the fact that we are our own little family now. I just reiterate a lot that I'm doing what I think is best for the health and safety of my child.

For my parents especially, once they actually SAW me being a mother, they began to respect that role, and my decision making, a lot more than just when I was pregnant. Hopefully your family will come around and start letting you make your own decisions without combating them.

scj110610 · December 2012

i just informed my mother she was not welcome in the delivery room but my sister is. ha that went over like a lead balloon. BUT she is a very irrational person, esp. in 'crisis' situations and i know she will make me want to hurt her if she is anywhere near me. my sister, on the other hand, is very laid back, and also a medical professional who sees births all the time. of course my mom acted all billy bad-ass pissy but then i heard later she told my sister, it was my decision and she would just have to respect that. would have been nice to hear from her but wadda ya do??

shellmom22 · December 2012

Thanks everyone! It was really nice to get some good advice. And thanks for everyone sharing their stories as well.

BrittBrittM · December 2012

mypalbabs:
danuli8:

I would have said, "Yes, people ARE more important, Grandma. My baby is a very important person to me and that's why he won't be forced to inhale cigarette smoke."

Seriously, your grandma is a pain in the rear. So sorry she is being such an idiot. I think the best way to deal with these issues is to be a broken record right back--"My child's health is the most important thing." Repeat it with a smile over and over and over.

I had new neighbors move in across the street. The woman was so thrilled for me that I was pregnant, and she would be glad to watch my baby whenever I needed help! This line was delivered with a cigarette in her hand and her pitbull right behind her. I said with a smile that I would certainly keep her generous offer in mind...and boy howdy, that is the ONLY place it will stay.

Dude, you suck.

was wondering how long it would take for someone to call her out on that one. dont judge the dog...

tsharon · December 2012

I haven't read the other comments, but wanted to say this: I am a smoker. I smoke a pack and half a day. I do not smoke around B, and I won't let her be anywhere near me when I do. After New Year's, DH and I are quitting. Why the urgency?

Second hand smoke contributes to SIDS (among many other health problems!) Even smoking outside, you bring the smoke in on your clothes, and it CAN be a SIDS factor. If telling them that doesn't shake them into understanding, I don't know what will...

skoogirl · December 2012

I like to say with a wink "You were allowed to screw up your kids whatever way you wanted, and now I will screw up my kids any way I want."

skoogirl · December 2012

BrittBrittM:
mypalbabs:
danuli8:

I would have said, "Yes, people ARE more important, Grandma. My baby is a very important person to me and that's why he won't be forced to inhale cigarette smoke."

Seriously, your grandma is a pain in the rear. So sorry she is being such an idiot. I think the best way to deal with these issues is to be a broken record right back--"My child's health is the most important thing." Repeat it with a smile over and over and over.

I had new neighbors move in across the street. The woman was so thrilled for me that I was pregnant, and she would be glad to watch my baby whenever I needed help! This line was delivered with a cigarette in her hand and her pitbull right behind her. I said with a smile that I would certainly keep her generous offer in mind...and boy howdy, that is the ONLY place it will stay.

Dude, you suck.

was wondering how long it would take for someone to call her out on that one. dont judge the dog...

I don't like pit bulls either. You only have to read the news occasionally in Baltimore to understand why.

NativeFloridian · December 2012

skoogirl:
BrittBrittM:
mypalbabs:
danuli8:

I would have said, "Yes, people ARE more important, Grandma. My baby is a very important person to me and that's why he won't be forced to inhale cigarette smoke."

Seriously, your grandma is a pain in the rear. So sorry she is being such an idiot. I think the best way to deal with these issues is to be a broken record right back--"My child's health is the most important thing." Repeat it with a smile over and over and over.

I had new neighbors move in across the street. The woman was so thrilled for me that I was pregnant, and she would be glad to watch my baby whenever I needed help! This line was delivered with a cigarette in her hand and her pitbull right behind her. I said with a smile that I would certainly keep her generous offer in mind...and boy howdy, that is the ONLY place it will stay.

Dude, you suck.

was wondering how long it would take for someone to call her out on that one. dont judge the dog...
I don't like pit bulls either. You only have to read the news occasionally in Baltimore to understand why.

I've had exactly three pit bulls as pets over the course of my life, and all of them have been the most fantastic, loving pets. I don't care what anyone says, I would bet money, if I had any to spare, that all of the dogs that "go crazy" had a dynamic in their lives that caused them to do so. Lack of socialization, improper treatment, lack of attention, being tied/cooped up, lack of training, unacceptable punishments for behavior, etc. I'm positive the people who "didn't think their pet would ever do it," either had no clue they were pushing their dog into it because they never took the time to really figure their dog out, or are flat-out lying.

Sorry to hijack the post for that, OP. I'll shut up now.

skoogirl · December 2012

NativeFloridian:
skoogirl:
BrittBrittM:
mypalbabs:
danuli8:

I would have said, "Yes, people ARE more important, Grandma. My baby is a very important person to me and that's why he won't be forced to inhale cigarette smoke."

Seriously, your grandma is a pain in the rear. So sorry she is being such an idiot. I think the best way to deal with these issues is to be a broken record right back--"My child's health is the most important thing." Repeat it with a smile over and over and over.

I had new neighbors move in across the street. The woman was so thrilled for me that I was pregnant, and she would be glad to watch my baby whenever I needed help! This line was delivered with a cigarette in her hand and her pitbull right behind her. I said with a smile that I would certainly keep her generous offer in mind...and boy howdy, that is the ONLY place it will stay.

Dude, you suck.

was wondering how long it would take for someone to call her out on that one. dont judge the dog...
I don't like pit bulls either. You only have to read the news occasionally in Baltimore to understand why.
I've had exactly three pit bulls as pets over the course of my life, and all of them have been the most fantastic, loving pets. I don't care what anyone says, I would bet money, if I had any to spare, that all of the dogs that "go crazy" had a dynamic in their lives that caused them to do so. Lack of socialization, improper treatment, lack of attention, being tied/cooped up, lack of training, unacceptable punishments for behavior, etc. I'm positive the people who "didn't think their pet would ever do it," either had no clue they were pushing their dog into it because they never took the time to really figure their dog out, or are flat-out lying.
Sorry to hijack the post for that, OP. I'll shut up now.

Possibly. I think that their natural demeanor compared to many other breeds is actually quite calm. The difference is that if they do bite for whatever reason, they cause significantly more damage than a miniature poodle or a terrier, etc. I'm not sure that my son will always remember to "be nice" and if he does pull the tail of a dog, I don't want him to end up mauled, permanently disfigured or worse. Also, unfortunately, around here pit bulls are often associated with drugs and dog-fighting and those poorly treated animals are not ones I want my kids around.

NativeFloridian · December 2012

skoogirl:
NativeFloridian:
skoogirl:
BrittBrittM:
mypalbabs:
danuli8:

I would have said, "Yes, people ARE more important, Grandma. My baby is a very important person to me and that's why he won't be forced to inhale cigarette smoke."

Seriously, your grandma is a pain in the rear. So sorry she is being such an idiot. I think the best way to deal with these issues is to be a broken record right back--"My child's health is the most important thing." Repeat it with a smile over and over and over.

I had new neighbors move in across the street. The woman was so thrilled for me that I was pregnant, and she would be glad to watch my baby whenever I needed help! This line was delivered with a cigarette in her hand and her pitbull right behind her. I said with a smile that I would certainly keep her generous offer in mind...and boy howdy, that is the ONLY place it will stay.

Dude, you suck.

was wondering how long it would take for someone to call her out on that one. dont judge the dog...
I don't like pit bulls either. You only have to read the news occasionally in Baltimore to understand why.
I've had exactly three pit bulls as pets over the course of my life, and all of them have been the most fantastic, loving pets. I don't care what anyone says, I would bet money, if I had any to spare, that all of the dogs that "go crazy" had a dynamic in their lives that caused them to do so. Lack of socialization, improper treatment, lack of attention, being tied/cooped up, lack of training, unacceptable punishments for behavior, etc. I'm positive the people who "didn't think their pet would ever do it," either had no clue they were pushing their dog into it because they never took the time to really figure their dog out, or are flat-out lying.
Sorry to hijack the post for that, OP. I'll shut up now.
Possibly. I think that their natural demeanor compared to many other breeds is actually quite calm. The difference is that if they do bite for whatever reason, they cause significantly more damage than a miniature poodle or a terrier, etc. I'm not sure that my son will always remember to "be nice" and if he does pull the tail of a dog, I don't want him to end up mauled, permanently disfigured or worse. Also, unfortunately, around here pit bulls are often associated with drugs and dog-fighting and those poorly treated animals are not ones I want my kids around.

Without a doubt. I just hate the general damnation of the entire breed, is all.

JSS1002 · December 2012

NativeFloridian:
skoogirl:
BrittBrittM:
mypalbabs:
danuli8:

I would have said, "Yes, people ARE more important, Grandma. My baby is a very important person to me and that's why he won't be forced to inhale cigarette smoke."

Seriously, your grandma is a pain in the rear. So sorry she is being such an idiot. I think the best way to deal with these issues is to be a broken record right back--"My child's health is the most important thing." Repeat it with a smile over and over and over.

I had new neighbors move in across the street. The woman was so thrilled for me that I was pregnant, and she would be glad to watch my baby whenever I needed help! This line was delivered with a cigarette in her hand and her pitbull right behind her. I said with a smile that I would certainly keep her generous offer in mind...and boy howdy, that is the ONLY place it will stay.

Dude, you suck.

was wondering how long it would take for someone to call her out on that one. dont judge the dog...

I don't like pit bulls either. You only have to read the news occasionally in Baltimore to understand why.

I've had exactly three pit bulls as pets over the course of my life, and all of them have been the most fantastic, loving pets. I don't care what anyone says, I would bet money, if I had any to spare, that all of the dogs that "go crazy" had a dynamic in their lives that caused them to do so. Lack of socialization, improper treatment, lack of attention, being tied/cooped up, lack of training, unacceptable punishments for behavior, etc. I'm positive the people who "didn't think their pet would ever do it," either had no clue they were pushing their dog into it because they never took the time to really figure their dog out, or are flat-out lying.

Sorry to hijack the post for that, OP. I'll shut up now.

I'm sure there are plenty of nice pit bulls in the world, and I don't judge people for owning them, but I would have the same reaction about having one around my baby, especially one I didn't know, so I think it is a little harsh to tell teh OP that she "sucks" for being conerned about her baby's safety for not wanting it to be around a dog that is known for having issues. Or any dog for that matter. Sheesh.

DarlingNIkki1028 · December 2012

JSS1002:
NativeFloridian:
skoogirl:
BrittBrittM:
mypalbabs:
danuli8:

I would have said, "Yes, people ARE more important, Grandma. My baby is a very important person to me and that's why he won't be forced to inhale cigarette smoke."

Seriously, your grandma is a pain in the rear. So sorry she is being such an idiot. I think the best way to deal with these issues is to be a broken record right back--"My child's health is the most important thing." Repeat it with a smile over and over and over.

I had new neighbors move in across the street. The woman was so thrilled for me that I was pregnant, and she would be glad to watch my baby whenever I needed help! This line was delivered with a cigarette in her hand and her pitbull right behind her. I said with a smile that I would certainly keep her generous offer in mind...and boy howdy, that is the ONLY place it will stay.

Dude, you suck.

was wondering how long it would take for someone to call her out on that one.  dont judge the dog...

I don't like pit bulls either. You only have to read the news occasionally in Baltimore to understand why.

I've had exactly three pit bulls as pets over the course of my life, and all of them have been the most fantastic, loving pets.  I don't care what anyone says, I would bet money, if I had any to spare, that all of the dogs that "go crazy" had a dynamic in their lives that caused them to do so.  Lack of socialization, improper treatment, lack of attention, being tied/cooped up, lack of training, unacceptable punishments for behavior, etc.  I'm positive the people who "didn't think their pet would ever do it," either had no clue they were pushing their dog into it because they never took the time to really figure their dog out, or are flat-out lying.

Sorry to hijack the post for that, OP.  I'll shut up now. 

I'm sure there are plenty of nice pit bulls in the world, and I don't judge people for owning them, but I would have the same reaction about having one around my baby, especially one  I didn't know, so I think it is a little harsh to tell teh OP that she "sucks" for being conerned about her baby's safety for not wanting it to be around a dog that is known for having issues.  Or any dog for that matter.  Sheesh.

If it were ANY dog, she could have said DOG. But she said pit bull, that's why she sucks. I wish I hadn't opened this thread, it makes me shake with anger everytime I read people's misconceptions about my breed of choice. And by even MENTIONING the news as your reasoning for these feelings, as a PP did, you only feed into the horrible hype that the media portrays. Do a little research, pit bull haters. The reason you hear about pit bull attacks so frequently is because THOSE ARE THE ONLY ONES THE MEDIA REPORTS! And, quite frequently, they're not even reporting the correct breed of dog, but calling it a pit bull gets much more attention.

Ugh, sorry for also hijacking the post. I've hoped to never get into this on this board, because I love it so much.

nyki06 · December 2012

I totally dealt with the same things when I was pregnant with my daughter. I breastfed (no one in my family did, even extended), I used CDs (WOAH, she's crazy!), and to top it off I planned a home birth with my daughter. I dealt with a lot of unwanted opinions and eventually just sharing our plans with people. You get to decide how to parent your baby and that might involve being strong and proving to your family that you can do those things. My family eventually saw how well those things were working for me and shut up. Some of them even admitted they were wrong!

In my experience it's way better the second time around. People know where I stand and don't expect me to budge so they don't even try. Good luck!

UFMADDIE09 · December 2012

Nothing pisses me off more than this! Sounds like my mil. She's done endless things AGAINST what we've said but the worst of all was when my son was newborn and he was having choking episodes where he would almost choke to death about 8 times a day. We had to stay up 24/7 monitoring him because when he'd choke he obviously wouldn't make noise, just turn purple, etc. Well we FINALLY got an apnea monitor (only option to try and help) and we were so exhausted that when she offered to watch him one night, we said yes. We show up the next morning and she said, and I quote, "I didn't use the monitor because it looked so uncomfortable, I would've woke up if he started choking" WTF. Never again will she EVERRRRR watch any of my children.

Note to you all: If you have a family member, like mil, who believes they know the best with everything, never leave your kids alone with them.

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