Is there anything I can say?

biomaj5 · December 2012

Our former secretary at my main job has a 5 month old. I knitted her a baby gift, and showed general excitement over the existence of the baby. She's back from maternity leave now and works in another dept, and she keeps ambushing me with the baby. She seems to have a knack for doing it on days where I really just don't want to be around babies because the IF has been really messing with my head lately. In general, I can deal with the emotions of IF if I'm not blindsided. I came back from working out one day on my lunch break, and she was waiting here with the baby. Yesterday, she had the baby in the hall and someone made a comment about wondering what babies think about. I happened to be walking by and she said something about how babies probably just think of colors, and then she literally shoved the baby about 2 inches from my face and said this is the color of laura. Yesterday was cd2, so... yeah.

I don't want to be the douchebag who ruins everything, but it would be super awesome if she'd stop ambushing me with the baby. Is there something I can say to her that won't make her feel bad or make me sound like a jackwagon, or should I just dedicate myself to avoiding her?

IF sucks.

Note: she doesn't bring the baby in all the time, she's part-time and I think sometimes she has to come up here quickly to take care of stuff and can't find a babysitter or something. The bosses are cool with it, and the baby isn't here very often.

joanithegreat · December 2012

I don't know if there is anything you can say, I know I haven't really thought of anything yet.
One co-worker and his wife recently had a baby and his wife will bring the baby in and all the women will stand by the front desk and ohh and ahh about how cute she is. I stay in my cubicle until the baby is gone.

Another co-worker recently had another grandchild. She is constantly showing off pictures of her grandsons and I quickly say "very cute" and then walk away.

I used to love being around babies now I am very much "keep that kid away from me". I don't like that I feel this way, but it is what it is.

cowgirltu · December 2012

I dont have any advice, just hugs. People cant seem to understand that not everyone wants to see their kid. I dont even like ohh'ing and ahh'ing over some people's kids, unless I have an emotional attachment to that person. I have people here at work I avoid when they bring their kids in just becuase I dont want to pretend to be interested in them.

biomaj5 · December 2012

Emotions are so complicated. There are days when I wouldn't be upset if the baby comes, and there are days where it's all I can do not to cry in front of her (I actually teared up when she brought the baby after I worked out-luckily I had to put my gym bag down and could turn my back to her).

I like her, and don't want to hurt her feelings. She's surely caught up in the happiness of having a new baby, and it probably hasn't occurred to her that I might feel differently. I've discussed the IF with her briefly in the past, so she's not entirely clueless, but I doubt she really remembers the convo in detail. If it were someone I didn't like, I'd just bark at her about how busy I am and keep right on trucking.

I like the onions suggestion lol. I guess I'll try to avoid her rather than say something about it to her.

gogadgetgo · December 2012

Hugs. I don't have any real advice other than try and avoid when you know she's around. I'm guessing she forgot about any convos about IF and it sounds likes she's too wrapped up in her own world to understand. If you guys were close, I'd mention something but if she's just a coworker than its harder to deal with. I'm sorry you have to deal with this!

Adam&Eve2 · December 2012

greengirl09:
I'm sorry you are dealing with this situation, especially at work where you have to keep your cool. I don't know if there is anything you could say to this lady that would be tactful, but as a master avoider I would suugest the following:

Hide from this woman. Pretend that you might be coming down with a cold or something, and don't want to get the baby sick. Develop chronic IBS (no one wants to hear about that, and you could legitimately run away screaming from her at the drop of the hat without any explanation necessary). Start wearing giant headphones to work. Wear a bluetooth and take imaginary, emergency phone calls. Eat raw onions at work- she will start avoiding YOU.

I hope it gets easier.

I really did laugh out loud at that. And now I have a mental picture of a woman running down an office hallway yelling and holding her abdomen.

I'm sorry OP. I don't think that you really have an out other than avoiding her. Does she know that you are struggling with IF? I hope it gets better for you.

Twinkie0612 · December 2012

I feel for you and I wish I had the right advice. I am dealing with the same issue with my coworker that sits across from me. She is currently pregnant due in April. Most days I don't mind the pregnancy/baby talk, but there are random days where I can't deal with it (mostly on days where she complains non-stop).

I finally flat out explained everything to her. I told her about us dealing with IF and that some days it is hard to listen to all of the pregnancy/baby talk. Honestly it didn't really help because now she gives me advice. Her newest advice is that she thinks that the RE will put me on prescription PNVs, since right now I take OTC. Because everyone knows PNVs get you KU.

I think that your best bet is to try to avoid her when you are having a day where you can't deal. I like some of PP ideas on how to avoid her.

bugandbibs · December 2012

((hugs)) I'm sorry Bio. I don't think there is an easy answer. Sometime, when she doesn't have the baby, I would simply tell her the truth. Be honest that your IF issues are making it really hard for you to be around babies right now. Remind her how happy you are for her, and that she is welcome to talk about her child with you, but you need physical space.

kelle017 · December 2012

I'm sorry. I would do my best to avoid her like others said. I hope things get better for you.

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