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I just feel helpless--- commiseration time......

smiling76smiling76 member
in Special Needs

DS1 has major speech delays (although getting better, but still doesn't have the vocab of someone his age and can't always be understood).  BUT he also has sensory issues---needing input.  Also tends to be quite aggressive with others, pushing--knocking over blocks--punching.  And it's NOT in response to someone brushing up against him--it's on his own.  He hugs and is friendly most of the times, but obviously the "bad" times are what is noticed more by others.

We try taking him away from situations and having a 'cool down'--we tried true time outs--- etc etc.  He's in speech and occupational therapy at the school where he is in a special ed pre-k program.  BUT I find when he's at daycare before and after this program with "mainstream" kids-- that he has the issues.

Everyone seems to like him--he's a very happy kid who loves to make others smile--loves to 'chat' (although again, people don't understand him so their response tends to be "uh huh...."--and he's not stupid, he knows that they don't "get" him).....but I find that it's getting harder and harder on him at daycare. 

The last few times I've dropped him off, the first thing a kid will say is "_______don't knock down my blocks"--as they are building something right in front of the door.  It breaks my heart that kids feel that way about him--but reality is that yes, he sometimes goes and knocks down other kids projects.  It's very annoying to me as well--as I don't know what to do about it.  I try talking to him, talking to the teachers, etc. 

I feel so helpless--- he can be sooooo incredibly sweet 90% of the time, but it's that devious 10% of the time that people remember.  And I also wonder if there's some teasing going on that the teachers at daycare don't hear. He truly loves the other kids, but I think they're getting tired of his antics.  (I don't blame them)

I know we've come a long way in the last year or so--but have a LONG way to get in to mainstream schooling.  Next year is looking like special ed kindergarten--and thinking maybe even doing a traditional year of kindergarten before he goes to 1st grade (which I'm hoping is mainstream by that point).  BUT at the same time, I don't want to put him in situations where he can't be understood or gets teased---but also want to make sure he's challenged that is age-appropriate.

I guess I just want to commiserate.....I just feel helpless --I wish I could help him more.  The OT said that she recommends we get private therapy outside of school in addition to what she's doing in school.  Ugh.  I'm not even sure how we'd fit that in to his schedule.  It's insane already. 


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Re: I just feel helpless--- commiseration time......

  • bumpuser511563bumpuser511563 member

    I could have written this post myself. I did a couple of posts above this one.

    I don't know if I have any words of comfort. I just know how you feel and am going through some of the same things.

    My daycare is ready to call it quits with us. At this point I want to stay home with DS. His old daycare lead teacher has said that "DS thinks differently than you" to other children in his daycare class because they have questioned DS.

    It has been hurdle after hurdle with me crying along the way that there are too many that remain ignorant.

    We can't give up on our children but it is so easy for professionals and teachers to give up on them. We are moms who love our children no matter what.

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  • mommytoconnormommytoconnor member
    I also could have written this post. I feel your pain. My 2 yr old has SPD and is speech delayed.  He has made huge strides with therapy and is starting to talk.  Although I understand what he says, not everyone does.  I also struggle with aggressiveness.  He never really had a problem with that until he started daycare.  Now he is pushing the others kids, and myself, and hitting me, he doesn't hit the other kids though.  Well, here I am thinking it's all him and yet 3 times now I have seen another child push him or scratch him first, before he even does anything.  Makes me think he is pushing them in reaction to them scratching or hitting him, cause I have seen it.  Perhaps your little one is being picked on a bit too and that'w why his behavior is worse.  It's a catch 22, cause his therapist said to put him in daycare, it would be good for him to learn those social skills, and yet I also am seeing worsening behavior in my son since starting him there.  I wish I had some words or wisdom, but I am in the same boat and struggling as well, just know that you are not alone and sending hugs your way.
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