Christmas present update

HisChamaoleGirl · December 2012

The feedback I got back from my earlier post about the jt splat master was enlightening. I have considered what everyone said ... Until BM messaged DH about a video game SS wants. SS will be 9 in January. The video game is borderlands 2.

I know nothing of the game so I googled it. My first warning was I had to verify I was an adult to enter the website. Mature is the rating. 17 due to "blood and gore, intense violence, language, sexual themes and use of alcohol."

I am NOT comfortable purchashing this game for SS and neither is DH. BM being ok with SS owning this game makes me feel silly about questioning wanting to get him a kids paintball gun.

We usually follow the " we can't control what happens in BM home" but we feel this may be different. I'm guessing bringing concerns up to BM will not be accepted well.

Ilumine · December 2012

I swear, what parents will do to be the "cool" parent.

jnjmommy0609 · December 2012

Good for you for googling.

Now are you sure she is actually okay with it...or just not sure what the game is?

Why not have DH say "no we will not buy that game because of the Mature rating"

That isn't really questioning anything...that is simply stating that it just won't be aloud at your house and if she wants to buy it then that's on her and not you.

Littlejen22 · December 2012

If it were me I would respond stating that you guys do not think it is appropriate for his age but if there is anything else he wants to please let you know. But I think that a paintball set is just as innapropriate for a 9 year old so I would keep thinking. And just because BM is ok with him playing innapropriate video games assuming she knows the game it does not mean she wants the responsibility of kids running around actually shooting each other with stuff, and like Ilumine said cleaning it all up.

lookame3639 · December 2012

My FH has owned both Boarderlands games. The second one is certainly worse than the first as it has a stripper who wears skimpy clothes and talks to you in sexual inuendos. It's very violent. Whenever FH plays the games he waits until DS is in bed or at school.

However we take these precautions DS dad will plop him down in front of the TV with a controller and say play all you want. Many times DS has come back with nightmares about zombies eating him and constantly talks about people breaking into our home and killing us all. I have spoken several times about age apropriate games and it doesn't do any good, he could care less if DS has nightmares and could care less what I have to tell him.

lily_721 · December 2012

There is no way we would let a 9 y/o have a rated M game. SS1 and SS2 are 18 and 16. We just started letting them have rated M games within the last year. SS2 isn't allowed to play them with his friends unless we have spoken with the parents. BM tries to be the cool mom. When SS1 was 15, she let him hang out with people who were in their early 20s, stay out all night, skip school, etc. Needless to say, that didn't work out well for any of the involved.

guilletskichuk · December 2012

Although what BM does in her own home is up to her, you may want to bring up your concerns. You and DH are parents to your SS as well and should have input in the way he is raised. She may not accept what you have to say but you also might open up her eyes a bit.

My SS is 11 years old and my SD is 7. I've been in their lives for almost 6 years. During that time, BM allowed them to watch incredibly inappropriate movies and play violent games etc. DH and I have never been on board with BM's choices and have expressed our opinions to her but knew she wasn't taking them into consideration...UNTIL SS and SD started telling us about the nightmares they were having about certain characters in the movies and games to which they were being subjected. Once we started hearing about the fears our kids were having, we asked BM to put a stop to such content. She did decrease the amount of violent and gory things they encountered a fair amount. The kids have been living with DH and I for the last 5 months (we're in the middle of custody proceedings and have the kids on a trial basis). Many times they have mentioned how nice it is to not have bad dreams anymore etc.

I think you and DH have every right to give your input. If she doesn't accept it, that's her choice. But at least you will know that you tried.

+just+j+ · December 2012

and we wonder why people are killing people in theaters and grade schools.

Seriously. By NO MEANS do I believe that gaming is the sole cause, but I think how we are rasing our children and our failure to stop and think what we are exposing them too IS.

Cham, my only advice is for your husband to make her aware of what you just told us and what this game is and have a discussion about how you all intend to raise him. Exposing him to gore and violence at that age should be something you should fight against.

kali55 · December 2012

That is so inappropriate for a child. Could you bring it up to BM in a way that is not accusatory? Like "We looked up the game and some reviews, did you know that it's an adults only game? We had no idea until we looked it up online and saw some things that were really not suitable for children."

I'm sorry that I don't know your back story or situation or if that would even work. GL

HisChamaoleGirl · December 2012

kali55:
That is so inappropriate for a child. nbsp;Could you bring it up to BM in a way that is not accusatory? nbsp;Like "We looked up the game and some reviews, did you know that it's an adults only game? nbsp;We had no idea until we looked it up online and saw some things that were really not suitable for children."I'm sorry that I don't know your back story or situation or if that would even work. nbsp;GL nbsp;

I did send a message like that including the link to the website but she never responded. Bottom line is we won't be sending him that game.

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