Parenting after a Loss

Meh.

It's so strange how different my perceptions are this time around.. things that bothered me so much last time I have absolutely no opinion on this time around.. I post occasionally on PgAL, and it's so different reading posts.. so many posts I related to during my pg with DS, but now, it's bizarre how different my opinion is now.. I wouldn't think all that much would change in 5 months!
Loss #1: 18w5d.. D&E 04Mar03 BFP #2: Jun2011.. missed miscarriage. D&C 08Jul2011 8w4d. BFP #3: Nov2011.. Our Rainbow Baby!!! DS Born: 15Jul2012! BFP #4: Nov2012.. 2U1 - DS2 born 12Jul2013.  BFP #5: 01Jan2014..3U3!!

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Re: Meh.

  • Isn't it crazy? I don't mind going to my BMB & 1st try doesn't make me so stabby. It's a whole new ball game. Although that doesn't mean I'm not terrified of another loss...
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  • It's not about the loss part that I'm "different" about.. as, that's still very much a factor in my mind.. it's about everything else that seems so insignificant now.. not to single out any specific posts, but to use this one as an example.. with DS, I was SO adamant on who was going to be there for DS's birth, and I remember getting into a fight with DH about how I didn't want a bunch of people waiting in the waiting room, etc.. I was SO ticked when we were admitted to L&D and he said his parents were on there way.. it was exactly what I didn't want.. 

    Except.. in the end, I could care less.. who was there in the waiting room mattered absolutely zilch to me.  It had no effect whatsoever on my experience.  And, now 5 months after the fact, (seeing posts on similar topics) it really made me realize how silly I was for being so stern with DH over it and for getting mad initially.  It's just funny.. I was so gungho about it being for DH and ME only and that it was a "milestone" we were reaching together, etc, etc, etc.. and yet, looking back, it didn't matter who was in the waiting room.. DH and I still experienced that milestone together.. we still had all the "special time" we wanted.. now, that seems like such a trivial thing to have worried about.. but, when I was in the moment, I was so heated!! LOL.

    There are lots of other examples, too.. and, I do have more appreciation for the snark.. it's just so different this time.. it's like, after having DS in my arms, I realize the absolute only thing that matters is the end game.  How we get there, who's there in the waiting room, what color the nursery is, etc.. it's all so miniscule in comparison to the reality of holding that baby in my arms.. 

    I just didn't expect to feel so drastically different in so many ways, LOL.  I guess this is for the better -- maybe I won't have as many "rules" this time around!! LOL

    Loss #1: 18w5d.. D&E 04Mar03 BFP #2: Jun2011.. missed miscarriage. D&C 08Jul2011 8w4d. BFP #3: Nov2011.. Our Rainbow Baby!!! DS Born: 15Jul2012! BFP #4: Nov2012.. 2U1 - DS2 born 12Jul2013.  BFP #5: 01Jan2014..3U3!!

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    My blog about raising 2U2!
  • imagemissbea3:

    It's not about the loss part that I'm "different" about.. as, that's still very much a factor in my mind.. it's about everything else that seems so insignificant now.. not to single out any specific posts, but to use this one as an example.. with DS, I was SO adamant on who was going to be there for DS's birth, and I remember getting into a fight with DH about how I didn't want a bunch of people waiting in the waiting room, etc.. I was SO ticked when we were admitted to L&D and he said his parents were on there way.. it was exactly what I didn't want.. 

    Except.. in the end, I could care less.. who was there in the waiting room mattered absolutely zilch to me.  It had no effect whatsoever on my experience.  And, now 5 months after the fact, (seeing posts on similar topics) it really made me realize how silly I was for being so stern with DH over it and for getting mad initially.  It's just funny.. I was so gungho about it being for DH and ME only and that it was a "milestone" we were reaching together, etc, etc, etc.. and yet, looking back, it didn't matter who was in the waiting room.. DH and I still experienced that milestone together.. we still had all the "special time" we wanted.. now, that seems like such a trivial thing to have worried about.. but, when I was in the moment, I was so heated!! LOL.

    There are lots of other examples, too.. and, I do have more appreciation for the snark.. it's just so different this time.. it's like, after having DS in my arms, I realize the absolute only thing that matters is the end game.  How we get there, who's there in the waiting room, what color the nursery is, etc.. it's all so miniscule in comparison to the reality of holding that baby in my arms.. 

    I just didn't expect to feel so drastically different in so many ways, LOL.  I guess this is for the better -- maybe I won't have as many "rules" this time around!! LOL

    You are so awesome :)

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  • Well it was different but I had more rules. And am still pissed my FIL was at the birth of my son. But it was such a personal private birth him being in the same building not supporting us but just in case something went wrong he would be there to save the day [donkeys backside that he is] bothers me.

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  • I never thought having a child would change my perspective so much.  And you're right, at the end of the day the baby in your arms is the most blessed thing.  Nothing else matters.
    12/13/10 BFP 12/23/10 Miscarriage 3/6/11 BFP EDD 11/09/11 11/03/11 C-Section at 39w1d for failure to progress on induction for HBP and GD Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Image and video hosting by TinyPic Cincinnati Reds Pictures, Images and Photos image ~~~~~Everyone Welcome PgAL/PAL~~~~~~
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