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June 2013 Moms
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ILs at the u/s - need opinions

ASmallWonderASmallWonder member
in June 2013 Moms

Let me start by saying that I love my ILs - no issues with them at all so this has nothing do with my feelings toward them at all.  DH and I decided to to the same elective u/s place we used with my son to try for a sex guess on Saturday.  I'll be just over 15 weeks and they start the gender guesses at 15 weeks.  We know there's a good chance we won't get an answer.  Also, the u/s is just a black and white 2d (vs the cooler 3d one we got later in pregnancy with our son).

In laws just asked if they could come down on Saturday (they were supposed to come Sunday) and that's fine but now I'm not sure if we should invite them to the u/s.  It has the potential to be anti-climactic lol  I know if we asked them they would absolutely go but I also kind of wanted to tell them ourselves, not have a tech tell them, kwim?  We could tell them we have an appointment and leave them at the house with our son and they'd be fine but I worry their feelings would be hurt when we returned if we did have news for them and they realized they hadn't been invited.

So, all that to say, do I invite them and stress how quick and potentially not-informative this u/s has the potential to be or not mention it and tell them the interesting news after the fact, if we happen to find out? 

Formerly known as elmoali :)

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Re: ILs at the u/s - need opinions

  • notquiteblushingnotquiteblushing member
    I say don't invite them.  I wouldn't be offended if I were your inlaws.  I would understand that it was a private moment between the two of you and there was a good chance you wouldn't have learned anything anyway.
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  • ESD_0707ESD_0707
    Could you move the appointment to Friday without telling them?  
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  • ASmallWonderASmallWonder member

    imageESD_0707:
    Could you move the appointment to Friday without telling them?  

    Can't do it, unfortunately, due to work schedules.  Plus, I was trying to give the Squishy every minute of growth possible in the hopes of finding out lol  But really, we couldn't move it even if we wanted to. 

    Formerly known as elmoali :)

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  • JenniferAhlhornJenniferAhlhorn
    I also say don't invite them. But ask the tech if you can record it. I would just say its an appt and leave DS with them. If they say why couldn't they go just say you wanted to surprise them. If you do get a definitive boy or girl stop and buy them something to tell them what the baby is :
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  • melissa0726melissa0726 member

    I think it really comes down to how you want to tell them.  I'm sure they would be excited to attend the ultrasound and see the baby either way, even if you don't find out the sex.  But if you really want to tell them in your own way, then don't feel pressured to invite them if you prefer not to. 

    Why don't you leave them with your son for the appointment...and then when you get back, say hey, we have exciting news, and the tech was unexpectedly able to determine the sex today.  That way it doesn't sound like you purposely left them out.  Our parents would just be excited that they happened to be visiting on the right day and were able to hear the news first hand.

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  • flerlgirlflerlgirl member
    Eh, I say don't worry about inviting them. So far only DH and I have been to any of my appointments. We kind of like keeping the news to ourselves for a little while. But I can't imagine anyone being offended that they didn't get to go to an appointment.





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  • jlaOKjlaOK member
    I wouldn't worry about hurting their feelings.  I'd ask them to stay with your DS or maybe plan something fun for them all to do together.  They might enjoy the time alone with DS and not care about missing an ultrasound.
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  • bumpuser8448316bumpuser8448316 member

    I wouldn't invite them. We debated inviting our moms to our anatomy scan at 20 weeks with DS until I found out you could only have 1 other person in the room with you. And at that time I didn't know that those elective ultrasound places were reputable.

    In the end, I'm glad they weren't there. It was such a special moment between DH and I and we both really enjoyed the time between finding out and telling everyone when just he and I knew what we were having. We went to BRU to start our registry and we bought our first baby items- some boy clothes.  It's one of my favorite days!


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  • KEK1025KEK1025 member
    I would also leave them home with DS and tell them later if you do find out.  I cant speak for your IL's but I know mine would be understanding of the fact that you wanted it to be a special moment with DH and wanted to tell them yourselves in your own way.  I doubt they would be offended.

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  • bride05Julesbride05Jules member
    DH and I were able to find out last Friday, and I was just shy of 15 weeks. So, I think if baby is in a good position you have a good chance. Now, that being said I would never invite anyone to the U/S besides my DH. I think it's a private moment, and you just never know what comment someone will say that ruins the moment. In fact, I showed my mom the photos from ours and her first comment was "I hope that is a shadow and the baby doesn't have a big nose". WTF mom, that's not what you say to a person who is excited to be sharing photos of their first child. Anyway, I don't know your ILs but the more people there the bigger the chance for craziness in my opinion. My IL and parents will never be invited!
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  • Dragonfly1226Dragonfly1226 member
    I think it is a personal decision. To me the moment when you find out the gender is a special moment that I would only want to share with dh. But that is just my personal preference.
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  • megaroo64megaroo64 member
    I would not invite them either and I wouldn't worry too much about it.  Chances are, your ILs will understand that this was a private moment for you and DH. 
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