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November 2012 Moms
nursing/anxiety
This is my first baby and I decided during my pregnancy I was going to nurse but I absolutely hate it. The only reason I would continue is to save money and its good for her. I don't feel like we're bonding I just feel more frustrated. She's feeding about every hour and a half but right before bed all she wants to do is eat. I feed her at 9 and she acts hungry again by 10. I start to have anxiety when it gets closer to bed time... everyone keeps saying it gets better but how I feel now I just don't know if I can do this much longer.
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Re: nursing/anxiety
First off I just wanted to say I'm sorry you're struggling. Before I had LO I was determined to EBF but I had no idea the challenge ahead of me.
Have you considered pumping and bottle feeding? This is what I am doing now and I honestly could not be happier with it. There is such a feeling of relief actually seeing how much LO is getting and he is honestly a totally different baby.
What matters the most is that you and baby are happy and healthy, wishing you the best of luck!
I'm pumping too and love giving her bottles, but I do have some anxiety about having to supplement with formula.
I KNOW there is a laundry list of things I COULD do to TRY to get more milk going.....eat XYZ, Drink ABC, Drink more, take supplements, pump every two hours... yada yada... i just don't think I would be a happy person if all my focus was on making milk... and i don't see how BF and I could have any relationship if i didn't have time or energy to do anything after all the focus on making milk..
SOOO I have decided while its not what I wanted, baby girl will thrive on whatever I can provide and the formula ... and we will be happy and i will be able to enjoy the little moments that will be gone too fast, like this week she started smiling at us... her eyes light up when she smiles
I made a similar decision as credcat - breast feeding and supplementing with formula. This was after 72 straight waking hours, wherein LO was on my breast for 16 of every 24 hours. It all went down immediately after the delivery, and I'm not ashamed to say it was just awful. When I took her off the breast, she flipped out. Basically, I walked out of the hospital with two very sore nipples, a screaming infant and the s#$%^y advice of the hospital staff "well babies cry. What did you expect". Cry so they need to be suckling for 8 continuous hours of 12?...I don't.think.so.
Basically, my child has pretty nasty gas problems. After my milk came in, we ended up in a cycle of feedings, hours of soothing and another feeding. The only way I could handle the schedule was to introduce formula into the mix and pump like a mad man. I'm glad I did. It wasn't until I could get a second to breath, and one of my breasts a few days to heal, that I started to get all the gooey maternal feelings that I was told would happen. BF is still not my favourite thing to do, but I feel better about it than I did.
My husband and I follow a couple of little rules which might be helping us 1) we give breast milk rather than formula whenever possible, but there is always an arsenal of prepared formula in the fridge 2) I let LO suckle for about 5 minutes before giving her a bottle, whether milk or formula 3) we try to follow a basic 3 hour sched. (at least, at hour three we start to prepare for signs of hunger, and we use an ipad app to keep track of what we are doing so that one guy can check in with the other re: last feed time. 4) we try to save formula for night feedings, as it usually knocks her out.
Sorry to hear about your trouble. A happy mom is more important to a child than breast milk. If you need to drop it entirely, you do not owe anyone an explanation.
And lately I am starting to dread nighttime. I do all the feeding while DH sleeps. And sometimes I'm just so tired and over the whole thing. But I'm too stubborn to throw in the towel.
I guess this isn't advice. More of a you're not alone. So hang in there or switch to formula! Either way you'll still be a great mom.
I don't know how old your baby is, but yes, it tends to get better. I think a lot of moms would agree that it gets better around 6 weeks. Not to say there won't be new problems/frustrations but getting past the 6wk growth spurt tends to be a turning point for a lot of people.
What is it about the cluster feeding that bothers you? Is it going on all night long? To me, it's something to encourage because with my kids, getting that belly as full as possible is what led to longer stretches of sleep at night, so I reap the benefit of it. If it went on all night I'd want to pull my hair out though!
Can you pump or supplement and get away for an evening? That can make a huge difference mentally too. I know with my first I was really scared to be away from her and totally made myself a martyr mommy, but I feel SO much better after getting away for a few hours (even if I have to hurry home and pump before my boobs explode)
I breast feed and also pump to bottle feed BM. Breastfeeding is not easy. I don't hate it exactly, but I don't love it either. I am not getting those special feelings of bonding that you hear other mothers talking about...maybe that comes later. I could not breastfeed around the clock, so I pump so that DH can give DS 2 bottles overnight. Or on a weekend if I want to sleep in or go out for a few hours, DH will bottle feed DS. For me, it would be too tough and too stressful to have the baby only be able to feed directly from me.
I also get anxious towards nighttime, even though we bottle feed at night. It's just the thought of not knowing how the night will go...DS could sleep well or be up and fussy every hour. It's also the thought of being sleep deprived, but knowing you're not going to get restful, uninterrupted sleep (even on a good night) that makes me anxious when it starts getting dark out.
Hang in there! Do what's right for you and your LO...whether that's exclusively breast feeding, pumping BM for bottles, supplementing with forumula, or totally formula feeding! Whatever you choose will be the right choice for you and your baby! Good luck...you are not alone in feeling stressed!
Thanks everyone for posting your anxiety regarding nursing. I have had to supplement with formula because my little one wasn't gaining weight. I felt like the worst mom...starving him! I hate supplementing with a passion...so much extra work preparing and cleaning bottles...and each feeding takes a full hour. I hate the smell of the formula too. Why did no one tell me how difficult bf would be? I thought it would come naturally!
I've been trying to feed him every 2 hours during the day to up my milk supply...so I get a whole hour to get anything done between feedings...soometimes! He gained some weight at his last check, and my pediatrician said that I could try nursing him exclusively this week...the problem is he acts hungry after bf...so I feel I still need to supplement. This sucks!
This was me to a T with my first. I was so anxious but too stubborn to give up. It seemed so far away but it really did get easier after 6 weeks. I think it was the mental submission of the baby needing only me every two hours. After I got over that it was better. I ended up EBF her for 6 months and then partially breastfeeding until she was a little over a year.
The second time around BF is a breeze. There's no mental hurdles to get over - I know what to do - it's just so easy this time.