Calming my mom's Christmas shopping without offending her

lynsef · December 2012

My mom always went WAY overboard for Christmas and my children already have so much. I don't want them to have a ton of stuff lying around that hardly gets played with and I don't want them to expect it every year and to lose sight of the real spirit of Christmas.

She had already purchased a couple of really great gifts for the kids. Then she stopped the other day and picked up something else. Tonight on the phone she was talking about another toy for DD. She's going to end up giving them more than we are...Not to mention that she and my dad have been between jobs a couple times over the last 3-4 years.

I know she is jealous of all of the time that MIL gets to spend with them and is probably trying to make up for it, but she doesn't have to buy their love.

I tried just telling her that they already have so much as it is and that they will be very happy with the gifts she got, but she just doesn't listen. I guess I'll just have to get over it =/

I can't even leave some of the toys at her house for them to play with when we are there because I've tried that and she always sends us home with something each time...

AimeeL85 · December 2012

Could you try stashing some of the gifts away to introduce sometime later in the year? I do this sometimes even if DS has already seen a gift...he is young enough to forget quickly, though. I did it with about half of his first birthday presents.

TiffanyBerry · December 2012

We specifically (I, actually) talked to the grandparents (my husband's parents) and said that we wanted to do a one-gift-per-person-per-giver sort of thing. It gives my MIL a little leeway (really, she's picking a gift out to give to DD for her and FIL), but it also limits EVERYONE. A large part of my reasoning is that I don't want DD getting a lot of STUFF, period. She was totally cool with it, though.

myluckypig · December 2012

I say just let the kids be spoiled on Christmas. Pack away half the toys and bring them out throughout the year as special treats. We have always done this one holidays and birthdays since we have a really large family. Even when people just get one gift for them, when you multiply that by two large families, it still equals a lot of gifts!

honeybee111 · December 2012

My mom is like this too. Not only does she go WAY overboard for Christmas, but every time she comes to visit, she brings at least 3-4 gifts for DD. I handle it by putting most of the gifts away and taking out a few a month. I just brought out the last gift from last year's Christmas like a month ago. My mom has asked me before about letting DD play with all the stuff she's bought and I just say we don't want piles and piles of toys around the house.

grlmom16 · December 2012

AimeeL85:
Could you try stashing some of the gifts away to introduce sometime later in the year? I do this sometimes even if DS has already seen a gift...he is young enough to forget quickly, though. I did it with about half of his first birthday presents.

Great idea! I'm going to do this. DD gets tons b/c she's the first grandchild - even with the 2nd 3rd or 4th my grandparents would go overboard. Never thought of this.

rnbeth477 · December 2012

My MIL does this too, and she is on a limited income. My DH and I both tell her she does not have to spend so much, but she still does. We live 3000 miles away from her so she has everything shipped here throughout the year for Christmas and birthday. When she visits, she wraps everything for us to keep for Christmas.

It bugs me for multiple reasons.

(1) We don't have a large home, so holding all of these boxes and presents until Christmas and birthdays is not easy.

(2) Every time a box arrives, the delivery person bangs on the front door and wakes up the kids even when I put a sign on the door not to knock. She makes the packages signature required even when I ask her not to! Grr.

(3) She buys the kids more presents than we do.

(4) My parents cannot match her spending, nor should they try. They probably have more disposable funds than she does yet they are smarter with their spending.

cpmich · December 2012

Realize that the act of buying makes her happy. If you have asked her not to and she does it anyway, give whatever you don't want around to charity. There are a lot of kids in need and your kid will be a lot better for it.

ThatWasAHoot · December 2012

My mom loves to get my kids things, too. You should see our playroom. It is completely ridiculous. We just started putting toys in a very large storage closet to make room for DS's Christmas toys. But even then, I think we will only give him one or two at a time to play with. And he pretty much gets two Christmas' because my mother goes insane buying them things.
I know it's unnecessary, but she loves getting him things and I just let her. We're going to store most of his toys and give him like one new one a week from Christmas so it's not too crazy.

Kingston54 · December 2012

AimeeL85:
Could you try stashing some of the gifts away to introduce sometime later in the year? I do this sometimes even if DS has already seen a gift...he is young enough to forget quickly, though. I did it with about half of his first birthday presents.

This is a good idea and we have been doing this because DS's birthday falls so close to Christmas. Spaces things out.

teacherjulie · December 2012

We do this my daughters birthday is 12/22 so really close to Christmas. We put some toys away and then in june take them out

Want a personalized experience?

Calming my mom's Christmas shopping without offending her

Re: Calming my mom's Christmas shopping without offending her

Choose Another Board

Search Boards