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October 2011 Moms
Elsa1984
member
Deep breath......(vent)
Elsa1984
member
(I tried to post this last night but of course as soon as I hit POST, TB went down for maintainence)
Yesterday I took Gator to be watched by SIL and MIL while SO and I went to a friends birthday from 11-5pm. I asked that they make sure she naps, as we had plans after picking her up. I packed her food and drinks like I always do. Gator has a very sensitive stomach and butt, every other thing makes her break out or get a diaper rash for a week. So I am pretty firm on wanting her to eat the food I pack.
I text toward the end of the party and was informed that Gator didn't take a nap "because she didn't want to" by SIL. I understand that there are days she is going to fight a nap, but her not getting a nap happens 90% of the time when SIL is around.
We got to the house and SIL said excitedly "We gave Gator a peanut truffle bar and she absolutely LOVED it!" I stood there shocked and said "umm...we have never given her peanuts before!" And SIL says (still excited), "I hadn't either! She loved it!"
I was frucking pissed. And SO acted like I was being too overprotective, but my cousins son is allergic to peanuts and I used to babysit a little boy that is allergic to them. I know that really Gator could be allergic to any food, but since she is already sensitive to other foods.....I wasn't ready to give her peanuts yet. And had something happened, there was no Benadryl in sight, and not a single one of them knows CPR. That's why I pack her damn food, so they don't give her something that she hasn't already had or has had reactions too already. And the fact that she was so excited about it made me even more livid. Lady, you live two hours away. You have no idea what she can and cannot have....or if she has had peanuts before. It was nice that you felt the need to make the decision to give her foods like that without even a simple text to say "hey, has Gator had peanuts yet?" We were only a mile away and they know they can contact us at anytime. And I am not upset that she had a dessert, I get that she is occasionally going to be spoiled and get something she normally wouldn't get at home. But peanuts?! Come on....she has kids of her own and she has a friend with a peanut allergy.
And what makes me even more livid is that one day SIL was feeding Gator baked beans at a picnic and she yelled "she loves beans!" to me. I told her in a nice way that Gator gets bad stomach aches from beans and she said "oh I didn't know that." I told her that is why we are constantly asking people to ask us first before feeding her something. Sure enough, hours after the picnic....Gator was up screaming and withering. So it isn't like this is something new.....she had been addressed about it before.
My SO got an earful last night.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Deep breath......(vent)
I agree with Chunstad. Enough is enough. She obviously doesn't listen to you when you give her instructions for Gator's care, even when you are present. She's done.
I had compromised with SO that SIL could watch Gator if IL 's were present. She was at their house and MIL said Gator could be there while we went to the party, that she would be baking, but SIL would be there to help out. I trust MIL and she has always respected our wishes, and this was a trial babysitting after our discussion about how I don't trust SIL one on one with Gator.
In our talk last night, I told him that I didn't want to always be the bad guy when it came to other people and the care of Gator. He understood where I was coming from, and then said he would talk to them. Today his nephew wanted to see Gator so he brought her over and I stayed home....I didn't bring up talking to them again because I wanted to see if he would even bring it up. He came back and said that he brought it up in a nice way that we would appreciate they just ask before feeding her anything that wasn't packed. Him mom said "didn't she hear us say we were joking about feeding her the dessert? I thought she heard us! Now I feel bad because we didn't think about the peanut part when we were joking....just the fact it was a dessert because we know you guys don't like Gator to have lots of sweets and we were baking. I never feed her anything that isn't packed for her, except Cheerios which we asked about." SIL also mentioned she thought peanuts were okay at this point because Turkey Day, I had given her part of a rice Krispy treat, and she thought it was the one mixed with PB and Reese's.....SO told her it was a regular RK treat without PB.
They both apologized. So the trial didn't go so great, but at least now I know they didn't actually give her peanuts.
My mom pulled some similar BS on me, only it wasn't a joke. She was watching E at our house one day, and I got an email from her announcing that she'd forgotten her phone we don't have a home phone just our cell phones and that she'd given E peanut butter for the first time and she really liked it. So no phone to call 911 if she'd had a bad reaction. I was livid.