I have been crying all day. I just can't even imagine those poor little babies.
H brought the girls to see my FIL in the hospital after work today and I was waiting by the door when they come home. Brynn just ran up to me and babbled about her day. I picked her up and just started crying. She asked me why I was crying and I just told her that I loved her and she said "I love you too, Mommy." She is just so innocent like all of those other babies and its scary to me that I can't protect her from everything.
I think this is just hitting me so hard because she is the age of those kids. I'm registering her for kindergarten in the next couple of months.
Re: Can't stop thinking about it
We hhave been watching news about it all night. I subbed today - and didn't know about this until 4. A little 1st grade boy told me today that I never had to be afraid because his father was a cop in my town and he would protect me.
And then I found out about this. All I can do is continue to protect those little ones until they get home to their moms and dads who will protect them. It's what I would hope any teacher would do for my daughter.
DH and I talked about when I go to work - and we discussed some ways just for myself to keep my kids safe. I will be scouting out places to hide my kids, and I'll be keeping the door locked. People can knock if they want in. Those 30 kids are my kids between 9-4, and no one hurts my kids!
TTC #2 since 10/2013
BFP #1 (4.14.14) ~ CP (4.18.14)
BFP #2 (6.27.14) ~ EDD 3.7.15
I have been feeling the same way all day. I went and took Logan from preschool and locked the doors. We spent the day inside because for the first time ever I did not feel the world was safe enough for my babies. I can't stop thinking about the parents standing in that firehouse who never found their child. I think this day will be ingrained in my mind forever.
More often than not, the people involved in these massacres are mentally ill and unstable. There is no sane explanation as to why these things happen. There are sick people in this world and no amount of home schooling, metal detectors, or gun laws will change that.
I went to a vigil at my church in Newtown last night and was pleasantly surprised to see all of the churches holding vigils were crowded and had lines of cars to get in. I'm glad that we went but it was heartbreaking. Everyone was eerily silent and clearly in a state of shock. This is the town that you move to because its a safe place to raise your kids. I was born in Queens, NY and we moved to Newtown when I was 7 because my parents didn't want the three of us going to school in NY. They wanted us somewhere safe. The first house we moved to had a creek in the backyard and an acre of woods that we would play in all day. The biggest threat to us was getting bitten by a tick and getting Lyme's disease. The house where my parents live now is in a nice neighborhood and my little brother would leave in the mornings over summers and head out to play with other little kids and come back whenever my mom yelled out that it was dinner time. Everyone knows everyone else and it was - no, IS - a quaint, quiet, happy town.
My brother went to school with Ryan Lanza. He didn't know him well, but his friends who we saw at church know him and said that he is estranged from his brother. This must be so hard on him, and even if he is estranged I'm sure he'll get a hard time with some people. So many innocent lives ruined.
I have no idea how to move forward from this. I said to H last night that I wonder if we were selfish for having kids - how can we possibly keep them safe if 5 and 6 year olds were murdered in e safe place where I grew up, in the classrooms that I sat in as a child?
I can even imagine how you are feeling Jen. I don't know the people, the town, the school, etc. and this is just paralyzing to me. I honestly feel like this is something that has left a permanent scar on me. Other events have been tough, but for some reason, this is just too much for me.
You and everyone in CT is in my thoughts and prayers forever.
DH's best friend became paranoid schizophrenic and bipolar when he was 22. For us the signs were just a gut feeling. We would be with him and something would be really off. He would talk and suddenly get this glazed look in his eyes as he rambled into something that was hard to follow. We didn't completely recognize it at first because he would quickly move back to a normal topic. I would just leave and say to DH "_______ was being really weird tonight huh?"
My point is, go with your gut feeling. If you think he is starting to unravel get you and your baby the he!! out of there. DH's friend has never hurt a fly, so I don't think it is really common for someone to go on a killing spree like this, but better to be safe than sorry.
DH and this guy were best friends since 8 years old and now he doesn't even know where we live. DH cut off all contact when we had Logan even though I think it was the hardest thing he has ever done. Obviously a brother is a harder situation but I am sure your DH will be able to put your LO first.
A good friend's cousin was among the teachers killed. My heart aches for her family and for all those affected.