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Adoption
Mush-Tastic
member
My heart hurts, but I'm at peace too
Mush-Tastic
member
in Adoption
Those of you on the FB board know all of this, but I thought I would update here as well.
We were chosen yesterday by a BM and the baby was born 121212 early 2 weeks. Our entire interaction with her yesterday was incredibly positive. We spent a lot of time with her and spent a ton of quiet time with the baby girl baths, feelings, etc. We received a call at almost 1 AM this morning from BM's family members saying they were at the hospital, they wanted to convince her that she needed to keep the baby within the family. She was 100 certain of her choice in placing with us yesterday and had been in counseling through our agency for 3 months now forming an adoption plan. We were intensely shocked at this phone call.
Long story short, we spent all day with both SWs awaiting her final decision. Ultimately family won and she will be parenting the baby girl despite already not being able to afford taking care of her 2 yr old son she told us this and no job and no support system. Baby girl will be going home with her.
While we ache for this whole situation, we also have an enormous sense of peace. We went to the hospital and met with BM after we were told her decision. We wanted to make sure she knew we ultimately support her decision despite how hard it is to fathom and that we will be praying for her, the baby, and her family.
We will grieve. We will process. We will be allowing ourselves time. I want to thank all of you that have been there supporting us online this whole weekend. The love shown by complete strangers has been so touching. I am so blessed by this board.
We were chosen yesterday by a BM and the baby was born 121212 early 2 weeks. Our entire interaction with her yesterday was incredibly positive. We spent a lot of time with her and spent a ton of quiet time with the baby girl baths, feelings, etc. We received a call at almost 1 AM this morning from BM's family members saying they were at the hospital, they wanted to convince her that she needed to keep the baby within the family. She was 100 certain of her choice in placing with us yesterday and had been in counseling through our agency for 3 months now forming an adoption plan. We were intensely shocked at this phone call.
Long story short, we spent all day with both SWs awaiting her final decision. Ultimately family won and she will be parenting the baby girl despite already not being able to afford taking care of her 2 yr old son she told us this and no job and no support system. Baby girl will be going home with her.
While we ache for this whole situation, we also have an enormous sense of peace. We went to the hospital and met with BM after we were told her decision. We wanted to make sure she knew we ultimately support her decision despite how hard it is to fathom and that we will be praying for her, the baby, and her family.
We will grieve. We will process. We will be allowing ourselves time. I want to thank all of you that have been there supporting us online this whole weekend. The love shown by complete strangers has been so touching. I am so blessed by this board.
:::FOLLOW MY HALF MARATHON TRAINING:::
:::Our Adoption Journey:::
Evan James was born 1/24/13 and matched with us 2/20/13. The LOVE OF MY LIFE!!!
:::Our Adoption Journey:::
Evan James was born 1/24/13 and matched with us 2/20/13. The LOVE OF MY LIFE!!!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: My heart hurts, but I'm at peace too
Mush-Tastic - There must be some truth that most adoptions between Thanksgiving and Christmas fail. You are #3 for the board in the past few weeks. My heart is breaking for you and your DH. At least you spoke to your BM and it appears you recently met her. I am still dealing with the pain and after a 6 month relationship did not even get a word from the BM or have her tell me after 3 days of reassurances what changed. Will be thinking of you and everyone else who has been sharing the pain of this type of loss. I am so sorry this has happened to another couple.
5 Angels
I am so, so sorry. I think you are amazing people for meeting with the BM and showing your support for her after the failed match.
I will pray for continued peace and healing for you.
TTC since June 2009
01/10- Femara
03/10- Femara
07/2010- Clomid with injectables and IUI #1
08/2010- IUI #2
06/2011- IVF #1 BFP!
09/2011- Miscarriage at 10 1/2 weeks
11/2011- FET
01/2012- Start Home Study process
03/2012- Home Study approved and now waiting on our child to find us!
07/2012- matched with a BM who is due in October!
11/10/12- our son is born!
11/13/12- court grants us custody!
12/28/12- finalization! Always ours in our hearts, but.now also ours forever
http://keepingupwiththejoneses-dana.blogspot.com/
TTC September 2010 thru October 2011
SA February 2011: Normal
RE App. October 2011 - Recc. Clomid and IUI
Taking a break from TTC to pursue adoption
Met our 2 year old son in Russia July 2012!
Court trip October 2012
Home November 24 2012!
Back to RE Summer 2013. TTC journey continues:
Dx DOR, endometriosis, low sperm count
Clomid + IUI#1, #2 = BFN / IUI #3 = ???
Laparoscopy scheduled December 2013