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September 2011 Moms
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Crap

solsburyhillsolsburyhill member
in September 2011 Moms

So my girlfriend gave me one of her car seat bases when Augie was born.  She's got the same Chicco infant carrier and was done with it so she gave one to me and one to her cousin.  It was so awesome because DH and I each had one plus we used my friend's in my mom's car.

Well she just emailed me -

Hey, are you done with my carseat base?  My SIL just had a baby and they are taking my car seat so I'm wondering if you are done with the base.

 

Grrrr.

1. she never said I had to return it, she did this whole "I'm done have babies and want this stuff out of my house".

2. she's knows we're having #2 ... in fact she's giving us a double stroller and an additional crib.

So what do I do? 

"I do have it.  We've been planning to use it for #2 but if you want it back we can go buy an additional base."  Something like that?  Ugh.

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Re: Crap

  • manda26manda26 member
    That stinks. But I think what you have there would be fine, especially since she knows you are having #2. Maybe she plans to get it back to you after her SIL uses it?
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  • solsburyhillsolsburyhill member

    Or maybe:

    I'm sorry, I didn't realize you wanted it back!  We stopped using it a couple months ago but have in storage for when #2 comes.  I could buy another one for myself if you want it back for SIL.

     

    That way I remind her that she said I could just have it??

    This is twice now that friends have asked for stuff back that they said "take it, I'm done and want it out of my house and if I don't give it to you, I'm donating!"

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  • linzicalinzica member
    That sucks. I think what you have is fine. Maybe it slipped her mind you're expecting again or maybe she will give it back to you when her SIL is done with it?
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  • vnstacievnstacie member

    I like what you wrote the second time. 

    Also, if she gave it to you, it's not hers to lend out to her SIL, and how could she give it back to you to use? I mean won't she still be using the infant seat when your baby is born? 

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  • solsburyhillsolsburyhill member
    imagevnstacie:

    I like what you wrote the second time. 

    Also, if she gave it to you, it's not hers to lend out to her SIL, and how could she give it back to you to use? I mean won't she still be using the infant seat when your baby is born? 

    Yeah, her baby will only be 6-7 months when mine is born.

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  • manda26manda26 member
    imagesolsburyhill:
    imagevnstacie:

    I like what you wrote the second time. 

    Also, if she gave it to you, it's not hers to lend out to her SIL, and how could she give it back to you to use? I mean won't she still be using the infant seat when your baby is born? 

    Yeah, her baby will only be 6-7 months when mine is born.

    O was out of the infant seat at 5 months Embarrassed

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  • vnstacievnstacie member
    imagemanda26:
    imagesolsburyhill:
    imagevnstacie:

    I like what you wrote the second time. 

    Also, if she gave it to you, it's not hers to lend out to her SIL, and how could she give it back to you to use? I mean won't she still be using the infant seat when your baby is born? 

    Yeah, her baby will only be 6-7 months when mine is born.

    O was out of the infant seat at 5 months Embarrassed

    we switched at 9 months. So it really just depends on the baby/parents I think. 

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  • SusieBWSusieBW member
    imagesolsburyhill:

    Or maybe:

    I'm sorry, I didn't realize you wanted it back!  We stopped using it a couple months ago but have in storage for when #2 comes.  I could buy another one for myself if you want it back for SIL.

     

    That way I remind her that she said I could just have it??

    This is twice now that friends have asked for stuff back that they said "take it, I'm done and want it out of my house and if I don't give it to you, I'm donating!"

    I was going to suggest something more like this - remind her that she said she was going to donate it if she hadn't given it to you.

    Sorry man, that sucks.

    I haven't passed on any baby gear, but I have loaned some of my maternity clothes to friends, always with a very clear caveat that if/when I'm ever pregnant again I WANT THEM BACK.

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  • Pips09Pips09 member
    That's pretty crappy to ask for it back if she made it clear it was a gift, not a loan. I think your last answer is the way to go. It may be easier/cheaper to give it back if you think she will rescind the offer of the crib and stroller.
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  • becasmecabecasmeca member
    Personally I would smile and give it back and forget she said to "take it"!

    She is obviously finding ways to care and support her family via her already gifted baby items so you have to pull your resources together and figure out what base to use for your new LO...not a big deal, after all, it is technically hers.

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  • solsburyhillsolsburyhill member
    imagemanda26:
    imagesolsburyhill:
    imagevnstacie:

    I like what you wrote the second time. 

    Also, if she gave it to you, it's not hers to lend out to her SIL, and how could she give it back to you to use? I mean won't she still be using the infant seat when your baby is born? 

    Yeah, her baby will only be 6-7 months when mine is born.

    O was out of the infant seat at 5 months Embarrassed

    Nothing to blush at, everyone does it differently.  I kept Augie in till a month ago for a reason too long to type out.  He's been in a convertible in my MIL's car since 2 months though!

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  • GingerNessGingerNess member
    imageOhBenji:

    imagebecasmeca:
    Personally I would smile and give it back and forget she said to "take it"!

    She is obviously finding ways to care and support her family via her already gifted baby items so you have to pull your resources together and figure out what base to use for your new LO...not a big deal, after all, it is technically hers.

    I disagree. When you gift someone something, whether new or used, it is no longer yours. You gave away possession of it so it is theirs to do what they wish with it.



    I agree with benji. I'm somewhat of a coward, so in a situation like this I would either 1] ignore her email 2] ten her you already gave it to a friend who needed it... or 3] I guess your second response sounds good. Maybe go with that?

    That's highly annoying though. Especially since she knows you are expecting again. I actually think its rude. Only downside to not giving it back..would she decide to change her mind about the crib and stuff too?
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