Hair debate

Amberrrr · December 2012

Let's talk about it here, the FFFC is turning into a hair debate

Amberrrr · December 2012

I think some kids scream when they get their hair cut. A screaming kid that's throwing a fit and thrashing him or herself around is not safe with scissors.
I also think that a toddler might take her hair clips or ties out of her hair.

But I also think that a kid should be taken care of to a point where they don't look homeless.

Being presentable is good. Like a child wearing clothes.

I think bed head is cute.
But there's a time and a place.
Sometimes I don't even keep my own hair neat and tidy. But I do make myself presentable when I'm leaving the house, or when people come over etc.

runrinserepeat · December 2012

I think it's funny that all the people saying this have kids with little/no hair. No offense, I just don't think you know what it's like to deal with these squirmy little girls and their crazy wispy hair.

Amberrrr · December 2012

Starbuck128:
We have friends with a 3 year old girl and her hair is always in her face. It's parted and swept to the side, but always falling in her face. That's how the girl wants it. She won't let her parents cut it or put anything in her hair. She just keeps brushing it to the side. I think it's easy to sit back and judge, but if that's how the girl wants her hair, what can anyone do about it? Seriously, her parents must have bigger battles to pick. And just because it can be hard to see her face at times, it doesn't mean she can't see. I think it's cute how she brushes it behind her ear.

It's easy to judge other moms. But then once you're In there shoes, it all makes sense and you feel like a jerk for judging.

kittyh8r · December 2012

kleMcK:
I think it's funny that all the people saying this have kids with little/no hair. No offense, I just don't think you know what it's like to deal with these squirmy little girls and their crazy wispy hair.

THANK YOU! I try everyday to pull Emma's hair back, and everyday she screams like I am pulling every hair out, one by one. Most days I get a pony tail, or two in, and most days she keeps them in...but now she is starting to pull them out. It drives me nuts because I work so hard to get them in!!

Amberrrr · December 2012

RNmama12:
Again, I had to go back to my OP and check to see if I used the words "presentable" or "neat and clean" etc. When a baby has long hair most parents just sweep it off to one side and that is great, I totally agree with doing that and I would do the same thing. I would not force my 9 month old to wear a barrette or hold them down to put a ponytail in, I would just sweep it to one side as best I could. If my child was 2 years old and could understand about keeping a barrette/ponytail holder in (which my cousins child can) I would put a barrette in her hair if she didn't want a haircut. Her parents choose not to even attempt to maintain her hair. They never offer a barrette or a ponytail. If it were my child (not baby) I would keep her hair long, but at least put something in to hold it back from her face. I understand kids make a mess and that it is nearly impossible to keep them "neat and tidy" all the time. I think though that when your kid is 2 they are old enough to not just pull barrettes out like a baby would.

How do you know they never attempted? Are you always there? Maybe they've attempted, and had a terrible, horrible experience and they're waiting until their daughter is a little bit more mature. Did you actually ask them why their kids hair is always a mess?

Jen0204 · December 2012

RNmama12:
Again, I had to go back to my OP and check to see if I used the words "presentable" or "neat and clean" etc. When a baby has long hair most parents just sweep it off to one side and that is great, I totally agree with doing that and I would do the same thing. I would not force my 9 month old to wear a barrette or hold them down to put a ponytail in, I would just sweep it to one side as best I could. If my child was 2 years old and could understand about keeping a barrette/ponytail holder in (which my cousins child can) I would put a barrette in her hair if she didn't want a haircut. Her parents choose not to even attempt to maintain her hair. They never offer a barrette or a ponytail. If it were my child (not baby) I would keep her hair long, but at least put something in to hold it back from her face. I understand kids make a mess and that it is nearly impossible to keep them "neat and tidy" all the time. I think though that when your kid is 2 they are old enough to not just pull barrettes out like a baby would.

But the thing is, you can't. I mean, yes, I could physically hold down the girls every morning and make them cry so that I could put something in to hold their hair back. But why? So that others don't judge me for not having my kids look presentable? Sorry, that's not a good enough reason to make my kids cry. They're look unkempt for now until their hair is out of this awkward length stage and then maybe it will be a little easier. It's all well and good to say "well if it were MY kid I would do this" but it doesn't always work out that way. My good friend went to college for fashion so she's obviously interested in appearances, yet half the time her daughter walks around with her hair in her eyes because she fights and screams and wants her hair down and she's 3! I just think this is such an odd thing to judge another parent for.

Jen0204 · December 2012

RNmama12:
Jen0204:
RNmama12:
Again, I had to go back to my OP and check to see if I used the words "presentable" or "neat and clean" etc. When a baby has long hair most parents just sweep it off to one side and that is great, I totally agree with doing that and I would do the same thing. I would not force my 9 month old to wear a barrette or hold them down to put a ponytail in, I would just sweep it to one side as best I could. If my child was 2 years old and could understand about keeping a barrette/ponytail holder in (which my cousins child can) I would put a barrette in her hair if she didn't want a haircut. Her parents choose not to even attempt to maintain her hair. They never offer a barrette or a ponytail. If it were my child (not baby) I would keep her hair long, but at least put something in to hold it back from her face. I understand kids make a mess and that it is nearly impossible to keep them "neat and tidy" all the time. I think though that when your kid is 2 they are old enough to not just pull barrettes out like a baby would.
But the thing is, you can't. I mean, yes, I could physically hold down the girls every morning and make them cry so that I could put something in to hold their hair back. But why? So that others don't judge me for not having my kids look presentable? Sorry, that's not a good enough reason to make my kids cry. They're look unkempt for now until their hair is out of this awkward length stage and then maybe it will be a little easier. It's all well and good to say "well if it were MY kid I would do this" but it doesn't always work out that way. My good friend went to college for fashion so she's obviously interested in appearances, yet half the time her daughter walks around with her hair in her eyes because she fights and screams and wants her hair down and she's 3! I just think this is such an odd thing to judge another parent for.
the bolded.

Then your judgment really makes no sense. Sweeping it to the side keeps it in place for 0.2 seconds.

Amberrrr · December 2012

RNmama12:

I also can't stand when people don't cut their kids hair/do something with their daughters hair. My cousin never puts a clip or anything in her 2 year old daughters hair and it is wild and all in her face. You would totally judge an adult with their hair everywhere and untamed, so why is it okay to let your child walk around like that? Pet peeve!

No, you didn't use the words 'neat' and 'presentable', but how are you not implying it?

And it just seems weird to compare a toddler to an adult.

Kids are wild. It's normal.

jmccall79 · December 2012

It is quite amusing that a hair discussion could go this far, lol.

On this though...let's take it to a medical level shall we? If said TODDLER, adolescent, not baby, has hair in their face all the time and is having to look around it, or just looking out of one eye...this could cause vision issues. No? If one eye is constantly having to pick up the slack for the other, then there will be vision/eye issues down the road. This is extreme, I know. But just thought I'd take it to a level of something other than tidiness.

Is it a pain in the arse to keep a little girls hair out of her face? Absolutely. Is it impossible? No. Again, we're talking older/toddlerish, not baby! I was a nanny for a while. One of the kids was a little girl around the age of 2. She had wild, crazy, curly hair. It was constantly falling in her face. The family was very, let's say, well off. So, they weren't homeless like, or rough looking. Very well kept, nice clothes, etc. So the issue with this situation was not an issue of untidy. It was an issue of the little girl couldn't see, and was constantly having to fight her hair. The mother, in this situation, was to blame...because she just didn't do anything with her hair. She also didn't make the older girl, 8 or 9, do anything with hers either. She was doing good to go to school with her hair brushed on most days. So, here's where I come into play. I fixed the little girls hair every day! Did she like it? No! Did she sit still for me to do it? Yes, because I made her. Did she take it out? She tried for the first couple of days but every time she did I let her know that she had to leave it in. And I'm not talking "going to prom hair looking immaculate". Some days it was as simple as taking a piece of ribbon and tying the pieces that fell in her face.

Do I think you must fix your 10 month old little girls hair? Not really. Do I think you need to cut your 10 month old's hair because it's in her face? No. But the point of the original post that started this was that the child was a toddler and can't see!!! And do I think that at least tucking it behind their ear, and teaching them to do it, is sufficient? Yes.

firewife9278 · December 2012

I have a blonde baby, with fine, wispy hair, mostly in the back. I'm jealous of baby girls with lots of hair.

I'm planning to let it grow and not do anything but trim the ends as she gets older, until she tells me she wants to cut it short. I didn't cut my hair short until my sophomore year in college.

Mar5195 · December 2012

No child has ever died from a haircut. Even when they freak out and are moving all over the place, a skilled hair stylist can make the appropriate cuts without making the whole event particularly tramatic for the child.

If as a parents your perogative is to cut your child's hair. Then do it.

I don't see a problem with children having mess hair. Even if it's in their eyes. I think the biggest issue might be if they were older and their ability to learn was being affected by their damm hair!

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