Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
hjk5000
member
Re: So is this creepy too?
M/C 7/8/12
Perfect baby boy born 7/8/13
BFP 8/20/14 EDD 4/27/15 It's a GIRL!!
Little M 6/16/2013
Angel baby 5/17/2014
I remember seeing my mom naked when I was younger, but not my dad.
Trying to make sure I word this right....
There is, but only because he'll be more independent and I won't need to be keeping an eye on him while changing or showering. And also because at some point I'm sure he'll say Ew Mom! and walk out of the room, but I'm still not going to feel embarrassed or weirded out if he walks in on me when he's 15. If we decide to have another baby one day when he's a teenager, I'll still whip my boobs out to BF at home regardless. Does that make sense?
LOL I just died reading that!
lol, touche.
Yes...or my mother's nipples...
Ok really? Bent over pubic shot is one thing, but I don't understand when your own mother's boobs gross you out no matter what age you or they are. I really, really don't.
I will attempt to breast feed this next LO and hasn't really though much about that sort of nudity around my DS as he will be under 2 when LO arrives. I think it depends on their age.
BFP 5/21/10, Missed m/c 7/5/10 at 11w3d (baby measured 7wks), D&C 7/7/10
Aug/Sept 2010 - CD3&10 b/w & u/s, genetic testing, SA, HSG, & Lap/Hyst to remove septum
12/09/10 BFP -- 7/05/11 DS born at 33w5d. Came home after 23d in NICU at 37w0d
June 2012 - TTC #2! -- 10/05/12 BFP -- 5/23/13 DS2 born at 37w1d! Yay full term!
Surprise BFP 6/25/14 LO#3 due Feb2015!
|| [url=http;//www.fertilityfriend.com]Ovulation Calendar[/url]|| [url=http;//www.fertilityfriend.com]Ovulation Calendar[/url]
I guess I just don't get what age BFing becomes something your other kids shouldn't see? I just don't feel there is one.
I plan to nurse baby freely in front of DD. I'd like her to know its natural and that it's how the baby eats. DD may be 4 before I'm done nursing the baby. It wouldn't matter if she was 14, though. It's natural, period, and you're my kid.
I am personally not comfortable with my kids seeing below the belt nudity of the opposite sex past a certain age, but I'm not sure what that age is. I think I'll know it when it happens. There's just a time when it'll be no longer appropriate for my daughter to see daddy's peen casually, lol.
See, I would have laughed and said yep. Or just said well turn around then, I'll be done in a sec.
Because my mother had a problem with hair around her nipples that she refused to remove...and there is a clear image of them in my mind from the last time I saw them right before I moved out to go to college. That's why...
ETA: corrected minor errors...and...I never said I had an issue with breasts...just seeing her's...
lol, I totally get why below the belt nudity is something parents have a cut off point for. I just don't get why people have the same hang up over boobs.
Breastfeeding is not creepy in any way shape or form. However, that said, it does make some people very uncomfortable. While in public, I will cover myself while breastfeeding. While at home, probably not, as long as no one is visiting. If we have company, I would either excuse myself or cover up. It is not because I am ashamed or think its creepy, it is out of respect for others.
As for being naked in front of your children, I think there should be a cut off....as PP said 4 year olds run around naked and its ok...i dont think it would be acceptable for me to do the same....
Similar to taking naked pics of your baby..its ok when they are little and infants, but at some point it just becomes not appropriate....
Just my opinion...
That makes sense! And I hope this doesn't come across the wrong way, but I don't really think of BF as being naked - yes, you're showing skin but you are feeding your child and it is a lot different to me than walking around completely in the buff, KWIM?
M/C 7/8/12
Perfect baby boy born 7/8/13
BFP 8/20/14 EDD 4/27/15 It's a GIRL!!
Totally agree with this. You are feeding their sibling. I don't think of that as nudity.
M/C 7/8/12
Perfect baby boy born 7/8/13
BFP 8/20/14 EDD 4/27/15 It's a GIRL!!
I dont know how old I was, but I saw my dad's peen and was old enough to remember it... not going to lie, it scarred me a little bit...
M/C 7/8/12
Perfect baby boy born 7/8/13
BFP 8/20/14 EDD 4/27/15 It's a GIRL!!
I did! I still laugh about it. I just felt that if you could name your sister's body parts with semi-scientific terms, you were too old to be seeing them.
I do feel breastfeeding is different though. My mom breastfed all of her children in front of all of her children regardless of sex.
|| [url=http;//www.fertilityfriend.com]Ovulation Calendar[/url]|| [url=http;//www.fertilityfriend.com]Ovulation Calendar[/url]
My sister is 8 years younger than me my mom nursed her in front of me, my sister has breast fed her kids without a cover in front of me and I have done the same. Breastfeeding is just part of our normal.
My mom still will change her shirt in front of me. I don't remember ever seeing my dad naked.
I nurse in front of whomever whenever. I don't care if it's my FIL, my friend, a perfect stranger, my OB, or the pope. I now totally understand the phrase "just you wait."
And for the silly silly ftms who think, "I'll just pump, NBD!" LOL. Mmmkay. We sure will see about that. I can't wait to hear in June/July how "NBD" pumping is for you.
NIP was different for me. I'm was comfortable nursing openly in front of family and other children. But I was very weird about NIP. I didn't want to be...I was always trying to convince myself that anyone who thought it was odd could go eff themselves, but I just couldn't make MYSELF comfortable with it. I never nursed in a restaurant or park, at a playdate or party. I almost always nursed in my car and I think I nursed discreetly in a corner of a hotel lobby once. I had a wicked supply and had to pump in the mornings after DD nursed, so I had tons of milk stored and would bring bottles of BM out frequently, then pump when I got home. I didn't mind pumping.
I'm not advocating for this. I think women SHOULD nurse everywhere and anywhere they want to, and I wish I could've been more comfortable with it. I was just weird about it because I happen to be super modest and I couldn't change that. I already know that I'll be more open about NIP this time by necessity. DD needs to get out and has a lot of activities to attend, and baby will be nursed wherever baby decides he/she needs to eat.
Just thought I'd share, your post made me consider my own experience and maybe it'll be interesting to some FTMs.
I don't think she was saying that there's anything wrong with pumping, especially for WMs. My take was that she was jut saying IF you have the ability to just put baby to boob, you generally will do that over pumping because it's so much easier.
At what point did I insinuate that there was anything wrong with pumping? Pumping is HARD work. Like REALLY REALLY hard and ftms have zero concept of how incredibly difficult it is and tend to casually say that they would "just" bring a bottle of pumped milk or why don't moms who want their 4 year old to have BM "just" pump.
Calm down and actually read what I wrote before overreacting. No one is judging, I'm pointing out how OBVIOUSLY ignorant anyone who says "just" pump is.
Any mom who has ever EP or even attempted to pump for work or for a sitter or just so their husband or mom can do a feeding knows there is nothing simple about it.
I'm saying that pumping IS a big deal.
I wasn't thinking of anyone specific. It's a general theme of people who don't know what they're talking about foolishly suggesting that a mom just pump so that no one has to see her nurse. I think what I said is being completely misunderstood.
My opinion is that nudity and extended breastfeeding are personal decisions. If you feel uncomfortable, don't do it. If you don't feel uncomfortable, don't worry about it. Children's concepts of modesty and "shame" come from their parents' attitudes.
As far as nursing in front of older kids, I'm of the opinion that there should be no cut off age for children seeing a baby suckling a breast. It's not a sexual act. It's as natural as blowing your nose, eating, or going to the bathroom. Part of the reason some people have such difficulty nursing is because they never saw others (moms, sisters, aunts, etc) nursing in front of them. If you have no frame of reference for how it should be done and how to troubleshoot problems, you will have to do TONS of research and try to figure it out yourself. Society's obsession with breast modesty, in my opinion, contributes to how difficult it can be to nurse for some moms.
I "watched" my mother nurse my younger brother, and I wasn't big on public nursing with DS. I generally confined my nursing to more private areas with DS and will probably follow that again. However, I agree that there really is no age where it is inappropriate for a child or any person for that matter to be witness to a nursing baby. My DS will be 5 and my step-children will be 13 and 10, while I have no problem nursing in front of them I can imagine that at a minimum my 13 yo step-son may choose to leave the room, etc.
I try not to be completely naked in front of DS for several reasons, namely that he likes to point out my "lumps" and other anatomoical differences.
The reason I am clarifying this is that I would be okay nursing version 2 in front of an older male child my own child only but I would not be ok with version 1 in front of an older male child and by older I mean middle school or later.
I am NOT comfortable nursing in front of any men outside of my husband. In public I use a cover and try to find an out of the way space. If you ask your teenage son or husband to be honest with you they will most likely admit that a boob is a boob whether its meant to be feeding a baby or not...my husband doesn't see my daughter nursing as sexual but as soon as she realizes he has come into the room and rolls her head to look at him leaving the boob bare and exposed he is thinking sex...men are visual and the pictures stay with them...that is just the truth of it.
That being said I am not offended/bothered by women who are comfortable nursing more publicly than I am mostly because I know that because we have talked about it my husband averts his eyes when a woman is nursing in public. And 95 of men are polite like that but I am creeped out by the other 5 so I nurse in public but in a more private way because it creeps me out to think about men walking around with a visual image of my girls in his head. Also although i do nurse in public I also often took a pumped bottle...I didn't have supply issues which allowed for surplus milk so sometimes it truly was easier to let my daughter feed herself a bottle in the stroller while I kept shopping.
Last comment that some may hate but the only time I do not like seeing someone breast feed in public is when they are obviously trying to make a point about public breast feeding...example being last Christmas we went to the botanical garden by my parents to see their Christmas tree exhibit...place is packed bc it is Christmas weekend and it isn't a very big place made up of lots of smaller rooms. Right near the entrance is a large eating area that is vacant bc it is like 3pm...we are in probably the smallest room in the place and right in front of me a woman sits down on a bench along the path and proceeds to nurse her kid...now if the kid was screaming I could understand just stopping where you are and feeding but the kid was totally content so why not find a space that wasn't literally shoulder to shoulder packed with people...it is our right to breast feed in public but I think we support our cause better by being contentious of those around us...like how smokers can smoke in public but we still grumble if they smoke right next to us.