Don't get me wrong, I love my in-laws. As parents they are... meh. But as people they're OK people. I get along with them alright and enjoy that they are in H's life and all that jazz... but they need to start leaving us the F alone!
Long story short, H and I rent FIL's house. It's a huuuuge house so we rent out two of the rooms upstairs and use the third as storage. I am a photographer and I converted the extra room downstairs into an office and studio since it has its own entrance. FIL lives there, but in a different house on the property. He and MIL are divorced and she lives in AZ. H and I left to go to work in MN over the summer and when we came back guess who was sleeping in OUR bedroom? MIL! Turns out she'd been there for a month 'visiting". When we got back she decided to move into, and rearrange, my studio. Fine, whatever, it was supposed to be temporary so I didn't mind.
Only it's really not temporary it seems. Back in October she and FIL finally left to go to AZ together for a while, but she left behind her two dogs. Neither of them are fixed OR house broken. And the male is aggressive and, to be blunt, a *** of a dog. He beats up my fixed male dogs and keeps trying to hump my fixed female dog which she wants nothing to do with. I feel horrible for him but frankly can't afford to be spending my own time and money into training and fixing him. The other dog is great, really sweet and old but not house broken so I was dealing with a house of pee and poop for over a month. Then they came back for Thanksgiving, which is fine, but then they didn't leave. FINALLY they announced they were going to leave this week and I asked them to take the dogs with them. MIL said she was giving the male to her daughter (who lives next door to us and yet somehow that dog still ends up in our house and our yard all the time). Whatever, I figured at least she'd take the non-house broken female with her. Well, they left today. Only, I get this text message from my MIL "We just left, we have Cookie. See you Saturday".
WHAT!?!?! 1) Cookie is MY DOG! Not hers! MINE! OK, so she's H's dog, but what's his is mine. Cookie is sweet and house broken thanks to me and NOT an issue for us. This means that she left behind both of her untrained dogs for ME to deal with. Second, what do you mean "see you Saturday"? Are they seriously coming back? H and his sister both basically told their Mom that they love having her around, but that she's being rude by taking over my studio and our home and she either needs to go home and stay home or get her own place. We lack privacy, H and I are affected by it because they can hear everything we say since the walls are paper thin and we're trying to not reveal the pregnancy to them right now so all of our conversations are whispered as it is. Not to mention how it's affected our love life. But still, sounds like she's coming back in a couple of days.
It just has me so pissed. I want to speak up and tell her off but mentally she can be very fragile and she's already heard this from her kids. I just don't know what to do. H would never kick his Mom out or force her to leave, but it's almost getting to the point where I want to say that it's her or me because my pregnant self needs to be able to go about my day without her constant comments on how I look "sick" and that I need to stop eating so healthy because "no one likes skinny people". Yeah... because THAT'S why I'm suddenly eating so healthy. Ugh.
Thanks for letting me rant. It didn't help but I do feel a little better. 
B born 7/15/13, C born 3/2/15, #3 on the way May '17
I’m a modern man, a man for the millennium. Digital and smoke free. A diversified multi-cultural, post-modern deconstruction that is anatomically and ecologically incorrect. I’ve been up linked and downloaded, I’ve been inputted and outsourced, I know the upside of downsizing, I know the downside of upgrading. I’m a high-tech low-life. A cutting edge, state-of-the-art bi-coastal multi-tasker and I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond! I’m new wave, but I’m old school and my inner child is outward bound. I’m a hot-wired, heat seeking, warm-hearted cool customer, voice activated and bio-degradable. I interface with my database, my database is in cyberspace, so I’m interactive, I’m hyperactive and from time to time I’m radioactive.
Re: Ugh, Can I Vent? (ILs, REALLY long)
Fall 2013: Fertility treatments = first BFP!!
07/23/2013 Drew Steven born at 5lb 12oz
02/10/14: Surprise, spontaneous BFP!
EDD: 10/11/2014 Stick, baby, stick!!
Wow! U r a soldier for putting up with so much! I can't give you any advise as I don't live with my in laws. We live in the same city, 20min apart...but they aren't intrusive. Intact...I go over a lot for some good foods! I also haven't told them yet about my pregnancy...don't plan on until the new year. We are away on holidays, so I lucked out.
Sorry I couldn't help....but I hope venting it out made you feel better!
Great story. You have been putting up with a lot. Hang in there, I would move out if possible. If you are paying rent, no one should be moving your stuff around and taking your pets. So are your inlaws getting back together? Or is that a step mother in law?
They're... weird. They are not getting back together, in fact they can't stand each other. But neither have anyone else so they spend a lot of time together. It's akward because they'll fight and bicker sometimes and I just want to point out to them how they are DIVORCED! Act like it! But I hold my tongue.
I've basically decided I'm telling H that he needs to decide- his mom or me. I hate to do that, but I can't live like this for much longer. 4 months has been long enough! And I can't raise a baby in a house with this much madness and bad energy. Living here is keeping H's dad from losing the house (we basically pay the mortgage) and I DO feel bad about that, but it's not my concern or fault that this house is a money pit that he can't afford.
When we moved in here it was supposed to be just H and I on the property. His Dad was teaching at a university about 2.5 hours away, his sister lived about 4 hours away, and his Mom was in Phoenix. It was perfect! For a week. Then his dad got laid off and his sister magically showed up at midnight one night with her kid and never left. She was later joined by her husband and another baby. But I don't mind them so much because they live next door, not in our house! And H's Dad I don't even mind because it IS his house and he lives in a different building so he's not here much. But when EVERYONE is around at once it's very smothering.
B born 7/15/13, C born 3/2/15, #3 on the way May '17
I’m a modern man, a man for the millennium. Digital and smoke free. A diversified multi-cultural, post-modern deconstruction that is anatomically and ecologically incorrect. I’ve been up linked and downloaded, I’ve been inputted and outsourced, I know the upside of downsizing, I know the downside of upgrading. I’m a high-tech low-life. A cutting edge, state-of-the-art bi-coastal multi-tasker and I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond! I’m new wave, but I’m old school and my inner child is outward bound. I’m a hot-wired, heat seeking, warm-hearted cool customer, voice activated and bio-degradable. I interface with my database, my database is in cyberspace, so I’m interactive, I’m hyperactive and from time to time I’m radioactive.
Sounds like you need to get your own house. It is too tricky of a situation to stay there because you almost have to put up with all that. Don't feel bad for moving out. Your FIL can find other renters, and you can even help with that if you want.
Run, don't walk, and get out of there!
My first piece of advice is to let your husband do all the talking. Be firm with him when you tell him this is not working, but let him be firm with MIL! You should both sit down with her (maybe in public would be better so it doesn?t get dramatic... idk). He needs to know when he said "I do" he made the decision to put you above his family. Remember, she will most likely always forgive her son, but she may not forgive you, so be careful what YOU say or do!
Second, you need to set boundaries, when you live with ILs without boundaries it is a recipe for disaster. You need to give her a firm date that she needs to leave, I would hear her out and decide on a reasonable timeline for her to find somewhere else. You are now pregnant and should not be dealing with extra stress, it is not good for you or baby
I have an interesting MIL (DH is an only child with a single mother...) and she lives 5 minutes away. So, I am way to familiar with invasive MILs. I hope it all works out for you!.
BFP #1 3/17/12, EDD 11/25/12, born sleeping 7/26/12 @22w4d
We will see you again Lily Nicole!
~PGAL/PAL Always Welcome~
Hello BFP #2 11/12/12, EDD 7/26/13