Mr has left and I'm really struggling. Any help? — The Bump
Military Families

Mr has left and I'm really struggling. Any help?

Mr left Saturday and reports tomorrow to boot camp. I'm pregnant so I know a lot of the issues I'm having are hormone related plus this is the first leave so its going to suck. We've been married five years and haven't been apart for longer than a week in that long and we normally talk or text daily when traveling apart. I know the hormones aren't helping but I'm just in tears all the time and not really wanting food or to do anything. I'm staying with my MIL but she and her husband both work a lot so I'm alone all day. A month ago I spent my days teaching and talking all day. I was on the go all day and came home to my husband when he wasn't doing recruiting stuff. Now I'm just lost. I go to pass and ID Wednesday and I thought after going to Tricare I'd go to Family Services. When my dad was in the AF there were mom and kid groups. Are there still places like that for moms on their own? Anyone else with separation experience have any advice other than my mom's "Just go do something!" since I'm alone in a new city 2700 miles from family and friends and everything I know. TIA!
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Re: Mr has left and I'm really struggling. Any help?

  • I just answered you on our BMB, but I also had another idea.  If you are near a base, see if they have a MFLC (military family life consultant) they are counselors who are free and confidential.  They can meet almost anywhere (except your house).  It might be good to talk to someone if you are feeling depressed.  Also, I forget what branch your DH is in, but in the army, they have Army Community Services and the New Parent Support Program.  They can give you advice and refer you to groups.
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  • Also, try for other women in your shoes in your area. You're just lonely right now. Maybe a part time temp job or something! A new hobby, quilting, etc.
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  • DH just finished Basic, so I was right where you are a few months ago. And yes, keeping busy and all the typical advice is very true, but I know you don't want to hear that right now. The thing that helped me the most was connecting with other women whose husbands/boyfriends were at Basic with my man. Get on Facebook and try to find the page for his unit/boot camp if they have one. Usually you can find plenty of women to talk to who are going through the same thing. Ask your hubby who his closest buddies are at boot camp and try to find the wives of his friends on Facebook. Trust me, having women who are literally going through it with you is so much better than listening to the advice of women who have already done it (though their advice should also be considered!) A bunch of the women I met made a big group chat on Facebook and we would get on there and talk for hours. We also all met up together for the graduation and had dinner and helped each other celebrate seeing our guys again. I'm telling you, community is the number one thing that helped me make it through. 
    Me & DH: 24 Married: 5/11
    Started TTC: 12/12 Testing Started: 5/14
    Dx: Irregular Ovulation, possible PCOS
    Treatment starting July '14: Letrozole + Trigger + TI
    Surprise natural BFP right before starting meds!!!!!- EDD 3/7/15

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