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February 2013 Moms
jhutt321
member
Do (did) you know how many kids you want?
jhutt321
member
I haven't even delivered #2 yet and I've been thinking about a #3. Both DH and I are the middle children of 3. Ever since we started talking about children both of us said we only want two. Except DH really wants a boy to play hockey with and I'm pretty sure this baby is another girl. (not that he can't play hockey with girls!) And I know that if we try for a 3rd there is no guarantee it will be a boy. And then I hear reports on NPR that the birth rate is down for Americans, etc. So I think, why not? But then with 3 kids we're at an odd # and I should probably have a 4th to make it even... LOL. I did buy the 7-passenger CX-9.
So, my question. Did you know how many kids you wanted (for those having their 2nd, 3rd, 4th, etc) or are you just going with the flow?
FTMs, how many kids do you plan to have.
It's probably just my crazy pregnancy brain and will subside in February.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Do (did) you know how many kids you want?
We are going with the flow. DH and I do not use birth control for religious reasons. I do chart my cycles (when I have them - I've only had three periods in six years), but we don't actively try to avoid getting pregnant. We will take whatever is given to us.
We do feel that perhaps one day we will know when our family feels complete, but we don't feel like we are in any place to decide that right now.
I EBF and my periods usually return between 15-17 months PP. That means my kids are spaced about two years apart naturally. I am 32, so if we keep going at this rate we will probably end up with 7-8. That is IF my body holds out. lol
I love kids and if I had enough money I would have a million and adopt a million more.
DS1: Quinn - 10.22.10 and DS2: Cole - 01.18.13
We both agreed really early on that 3 was a good number. I always thought either 2 or 3 close together and one later on may be nice, but I think we'll both have to see how the first one goes! We're 27 and 28, so we have some time to pop kids out
I have one older brother, and I really wish I had more siblings, but my mom lost two infants before the two of us to a metabolic disorder, and gave birth to me at 40, so that's just how it worked out =/ DH is from a bit of a brady bunch family - one brother, one half sister and two step sisters and he loved his big family. I love his big family. I just don't have the confidence to be pregnant that much or manage a large group, at all, coming from a smaller family myself. I also worry a bit about finances - I know I'll want to give each kid the world. My parents worked so hard and saved so well they were able to send both of us to college and me to grad school, gave me my dream wedding, etc... I'd love to be able to give the same to my children. We'll just have to see
Freya Lillian - 11/15/15
Before I met DH, I thought I would be done with one, even though I wanted more. But now that we are together, DH and I haven't really set a specific number. We both come from larger families, and we've pretty much decided that we will take what we get!
We had zero problems getting pregnant this time, it happened the very next cycle after our MC in April. But we are both going to be 32 before this baby is born so... whatever happens, happens!
I like yarn: Learner's Per-knit
Preggo blog: There's No D#$% Stork
I am a FTM. My husband and I would really like to have 3, but we'll see how it goes... it may be 2.
) Because of my health/infertility issues, we have been advised that while we probably won't have a hard time getting pregnant again, we should plan to have our kids close together to avoid having my endo return between pregnancies (and thus causing the complications we ran into TTC this baby). On the other hand, as much as I always said I would never have an only child, if that's how it works out, than that will just be the way it is.
Our thinking is this... we are having a girl. If our second one is a boy, we may feel like we are done (or we may not). If the second is a girl, I will really push to have a 3rd. It's not that we would be trying for a boy (although I think it would be fun to have both), but more that I grew up with one sister and HATED it - we have never really gotten along. My feeling is, at least with three girls the "sister" dynamic can change... with just two girls there is so much competition, nastiness, etc. that I would rather avoid.
When DH and I first got together, I always said 2 or 3 and he always said 2. After having our first, we waited a bit before starting to try for #2, and then it took longer than expected do to my PCOS, so the first two are 3.5 years apart. #2 was diagnosed with epilepsy at 4 months old, so we had our hands full for quite awhile.
I still had that ache for #3 though (coming from a family where I'm the youngest of four). At first, DH was against it, but then changed his mind. By that point, I was second-guessing it. Then we flip-flopped. And finally, last year, we decided to just go for it. One night, I had told him that no matter how hard I tried to convince myself that we were done and that 2 was perfectly fine for me, I still wanted another. But I understood if he didn't and I would be okay and would never resent him. He looked at me and said, "Let's do it. Let's try for #3". It took awhile again, but here we are, expecting #3.
DS #1 is 8 years old and DS #2 just turned 5 yesterday, so I feel like we are definitely starting all over again!
Oh, but we are definitely done. I'm 90% sure I'll be getting a tubal during my c/s.
BFP1: DD1 born April 2011 at 34w1d via unplanned c/s due to HELLP, DVT 1 week PP
BFP3: DD2 born Feb 2013 at 38w4d via unplanned RCS due to uterine dehiscence
Dh is an only child and has always wanted a big family - we've always said 5. I'm one of 4 but my older brother passed away when I was 18 so both 3 and 4 children feel like the wrong number to me.
growing a foosa
This is our first, but we've both talked about wanting 2-3. In an ideal world, we would have one of each and be done after 2. However, if #2 is also a girl, I could see us trying for a third. We'll have to see though how everything goes with this first one.
To be completely honest - I never planned on any. I always loved kids. I just never saw myself with any. Well that all changed right before my husband and I got married. We both really never cared either way, but one night we just kind of agreed we would see what happened after we got married. We eloped in May and found out we were expecting in June. We're beyond thrilled and cannot wait!! February cannot come fast enough.
This most likely will be our only child. Unless we're unexpectingly blessed with more.
Like a previous poster, my DH and I don't use birth control for religious reasons so we're open to as many kids as we are given. If I were to choose though, I'd want 4 at the max. It took us 2 years to conceive this one so I'll take what I can get, when I get it!
I have a weird complicated answer, so bear with me.
This baby is basically a miracle. I have a laundry list of medical crap that all pointed toward being totally unable to carry a child to term and as of a few years ago, being unable to conceive at all according to my doctors.
I had a few good years of being sad and mourning the thought, and quite literally had just come to terms this past January with it, and had decided that I was going to go back to school, work on me, and in 3 years I would start getting serious about adopting. I have 2 nieces from China (Guangzhou and Anhui provinces), and a family friend recently adopted twins from Russia, and another going through the process to adopt from Guatemala. I'm boring, I think there's plenty of kids that need homes from right here in the US, but I've had a lot of people to talk to about adoption, which I'm thankful for.
Needless to say, found out I was pregnant, and so far so good other than my pre-preg hypertension giving us pre-e scares. Michael and I already vaguely talked about it, and agreed that if we were to be financially stable enough, we would try for another, but if by the time I was 32 it wasn't happening for us, that was it, we were only meant to have one.
I also know that once LO (and potential sibling if it happens that way) is older, we want to foster. It will definitely need to wait until they are older, though, as I'd really like to take in kids in the 12-18 age group, which can be really tough, and eventually I'd consider doing special needs foster care (mental/medical special needs) as well (obviously not at the same time as teens/preteens lol).
Fostering is something I've wanted to do since I was 14, and I was really lucky to end up with someone who also wants to be involved with and make a difference by fostering.
DX: 6/9/2011: Azoo ICSI/IVF only option for biological child
IVF #1: ER - 9/26 * ET - 10/1 * beta#1 10/13 - 140 * beta#2 10/17 - 477 * beta#3 10/20 - 1101
1st u/s at 6w6d - one hb * 2nd u/s at 8w3d - no hb detected 11/10/11 * natural m/c 11/13/11
FET #1 Jan/Feb 2012 - 3 delays - cancelled 2/13
FET #1.2 - May/June 2012 - ET 6/6/* beta#1 6/15 - 95 * beta #2 6/19 - 322 * beta #3 6/22 - 940
7/6 1st u/s @ 7 weeks - one beautiful hb - released from RE
EDD 2/22/2013
PAIF/SAIF/PGAL welcome
Thanks for humoring me, ladies!
Both pregnancies have not been the best. I do remember talking to my husband about how neither of us could go through this again (ah, how soon I forget!). But I'm sure if I had a boy I would have a lovely pregnancy.
I have a couple of BFFs that are only children but I do not see myself as a parent of an only child household.
The plan is to try for another when this one is threeish. Right now that sounds good and reasonable. I feel like a three year break between pregnancies would be nice. But I don't want to be on my third (but maybe on a fourth and final would be okay) at 37yrs old. We'll see how baby # two and maybe three and four play out.
I would love to have more than two, but to answer your question I really don't know how many we will end up with!
I?m in a similar position. Had DS at 35, going for number 2 now at 36 and wld be truly blessed if we could have 4. Got to get a move on though so it?s a good thing I?m not stressed by having them close in age.
I don?t overly worry about having them all before we are both 40, as I?m in good health and so is DH, but having 4 under 5, before reaching 40 sounds like rather a handfull! LOL
I think we will be in a better position to make a call on any future children when we see how we manage with 2U2.
This will be my only baby..I just turned 37, DH will be 39 in 5 months and this baby is an amazing blessing for us!! He will not be an only child though, since I have a step son from DH's first marriage who lives with us 50% of the time. He is turning 9 in January, and he's been in my life since he was 4, so he's my little buddy and I'm so happy that he will be my son's big brother! I couldn't ask for anything more :-)