Blended Families

Just thought I'd update

I'm still here, but there's not much new on the BF front.  DD and SS are inseparable.  SS loves being around his little sister and has even started being more verbal.  DD's face lights up when SS comes in the room.  I'm excited to see them together when DD can walk, talk, and play with SS.

I was worried, at first, that DH wouldn't love DD as much as he did SS.  He always said he wouldn't.  However, he's enamored with her.  It's sweet to see him snuggling with both kids on the couch or in the bed.  He's a natural at having 2 kids!

I, on the other hand, am not as adept at balancing things.  When I'm home, DD wants me only.  However, I still want to spend our special 1 on 1 time with SS reading, playing, or just snuggling.  It's really hard for me to hear DD cry while with DH, knowing she just wants to be with me.  SS needs my time, too, though.  I'm getting better with it.  

BM is bouncing from one guy to another as always.  DH told her he'd do a paternity test for her oldest.  However, he wasn't going to waive child support.  She recanted and said she didn't mean that he was DH's.  She just wished he was because she couldn't stand her relationship with his real father.  He must have misunderstood...  Really, she just doesn't want to pay child support for SS and thought she could manipulate DH.  I'm pretty sure she quit/lost her job again since SS hasn't gotten support for 2 months now.  Usually, it's garnished.  

She's still obsessed with DD.  She doesn't call or text to ask about SS - she asks about DD, CONSTANTLY asking for pictures and saying she can't wait to meet her when we're home for Christmas and she wishes DH had given her a daughter instead of a son.  She doesn't realize what an amazing son she has.     

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"To be able to practice five things everywhere under heaven constitutes perfect virtue...gravity, generosity of soul, sincerity, earnestness, and kindness."

Re: Just thought I'd update

  • "she wishes DH had given her a daughter instead of a son. She doesn't realize what an amazing son she has. "

     

    What the... omg.

     

    Keep doing what you are doing- sounds like SS is so lucky to have you in his life.  The BM in my situation was asking about my DD for a long time and requesting pictures, even wanting to take my dd to get pics with ss.   Im not sure if that is her way of being overly nice, or what.  But I think the above statement shows the bm in your situation is bsc.  Good grief!!



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  • It sounds like things are going fairly well. I worry about still maintaining one on one time with DS (4) while having DH watching DD (NB). You'll have to give me some tips!
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  • imagetwister22:
    It sounds like things are going fairly well. I worry about still maintaining one on one time with DS 4 while having DH watching DD NB. You'll have to give me some tips!


    It took a bit to get in the groove! Now, the time is just scheduled. It's a given that DH gets home, has his down time, gets SS off the bus, and feeds him snack. They sit together while I feed DD. DH takes DD and bounces her or walks her while I spend time with SS. Weekends are actually easier to get one on one time since she'll nap and SS is home.

    You'll get it! And congrats on your NB!
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    "To be able to practice five things everywhere under heaven constitutes perfect virtue...gravity, generosity of soul, sincerity, earnestness, and kindness."
  • imageMarSamWhitney:
    "she wishes DH had given her a daughter instead of a son. She doesn't realize what an amazing son she has.nbsp;"nbsp;What the... omg.nbsp;Keep doing what you are doing sounds like SS is so lucky to have you in his life.nbsp; The BM in my situation was asking about my DD for a long time and requesting pictures, even wanting to take my dd to get pics with ss.nbsp;nbsp; Im not sure if that is her way of being overly nice, or what.nbsp; But I think the above statement shows the bm in your situation is bsc.nbsp; Good grief!!


    She's a piece of work to say the least. I feel awful for SS but he doesn't know she's like that about having him. We would never dream of saying anything! He hardly knows her and I don't think he knows her as a mom. He doesn't understand relationships as much as who is there for him. I'm glad living away from her shields him from a lot of it!

    I'm glad BM isn't the only BM taking odd interest in their exes new DC. I thought it was kind of creepy. I still do but that's because of the rest of the situation.
    image

    "To be able to practice five things everywhere under heaven constitutes perfect virtue...gravity, generosity of soul, sincerity, earnestness, and kindness."
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