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Rdmaggie
member
Birthday advice ASD
Rdmaggie
member
I think everyone here kind of knows our story now...
Anyway, DD's 2nd birthday is the 23rd of this month. I had the location, cake, theme etc. picked out before her first birthday (ridiculous I know, but what can I say? I was a proud mama building dreams). I paid for the rental which is at a local nature center months ago before we ever suspected anything, and the inviations have already been sent.
Now of course I'm terrified. I feel like it will be more of a punishment for her to have to endure, than something she will enjoy. DH doesn't quite get it, he says she "deserves" a party no matter what. We've already paid for it, and we only get the location for 2 hours, so its not as if I can tell folks to trickle in.
A usually runs back and forth yelling/spinning at other peoples houses, or just grabs my finger and takes me to the door and says "bye bye". She doesn't typically melt down completely, and the wild running is usually attributed to her age (and god what am I going to do when she ages out of that one?). But the real point is I don't want her to hate it... Everyone who will be there already knows our concerns, but I'm also scared that since they do know, they'll be sitting around evaluating her themselves.
This just adds to a list of things 3 months ago I couldn't wait for and now I dread, thoughts?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Birthday advice ASD
My biggest advice breathe! Birthdays with SN kids are hard for us Moms for so many reasons. Try to find a few things you can try to look forward to. She does deserve a birthday and maybe it will go better than you think. If you can try not to worry so much about what everyone else is thinking about her that can help too. This journey will help us realize what actually is important and grow the thick skin we need for survival. Sending good thoughts and hoping you and your family can enjoy the day.
Two tips from my ASD son's 3 yo birthday last year - don't open the presents at the party itself and try to limit the amount of time that will be centered on her. Open presents really has 'rules' to it - open the present, pass the present, etc. that my son just doesn't get and it just didn't seem fair to take away a toy right after he started playing with it. We also didn't sing happy birthday at the party because of noise issues. We sang later that night when there were only four of us. :-)
I second the 'don't stress' advice - throw the traditional birthday party out the window, look at the venue you have and create something that your daughter will enjoy as best you can.
Good luck!