Christmas Drama

celinap1 · December 2012

Ok ladies

My husband and I have always hosted christmas which i love. I like to cook and its a nice occasion plus we do not get stuck driving to multiple families. We are taking it on again this year, a bit slimed down, but to share christmas with my dad, my husbands mom, sister and grandma and an aunt an uncle. we have a small house and this has been perfect.

this year a cousins family has been invited- ok and now 3 more people- all invited by my mil. Im getting annoyed that there will be too many people in our modest home when all i want to do is enjoy our first christmas as a family with our little one, who will be nearly 7 mos. i want the grandparents there but not a ton of extended family- i want to make sure we have enough time to enjoy each other. my husband works christmas eve and we both go back the day after xmas.

we have tried to stress too many people but my husband is not totally on board. can i just tell my mil no, or do i have to be diplomatic and do everything through him. The extended family is great but i want to keep it small and not be a jerk.

i wanna make sure i have time with my new family and dont spend all day passing the baby or picking up in the kitchen while squeezing past everyone- really dont have the room for 14 people. ekk. i dont want christmas to be ruined.

nawlinsgrl · December 2012

I say, your house, your rules. It sounds like you're able to phrase this delicately and politely, so do it. Maybe even embellish. I'd say something along the lines of while we normally have a "the more the merrier" policy, with our new addition, we just don't feel up to the task of hosting more than X number of people this year.

If it's DH's family extending invitations to others, especially if done before consulting you, it's up to them to relay this message. Also, DH needs to get on board with this, so there is no dissension among the ranks, i.e., MIL gets him to agree and then you get screwed.

AliciaS1411 · December 2012

Who are you?

stepper1725 · December 2012

AliciaS1411:
Who are you?

she's a first time poster that needs our help with her made up dramaz!!

stepper1725 · December 2012

AliciaS1411:
Who are you?

nawlinsgrl · December 2012

I didn't even notice it was the first post, LOL. If it's MUD, it's not that creative or exciting for that matter.

AliciaS1411 · December 2012

I didn't even think it was MUD at first. I was just wondering why someone would chose that as their first post. It'd seem like she'd at LEAST introduce herself first before telling us her biz.

jjt616 · December 2012

We are also hosting Christmas and have a small house. While my extended family would like to be together for Christmas my house just can't hold all those people. We decided not to do a big dinner, just cooking a ham with cheesy potatoes. Some extended family are coming late morning and then going to another side of their family for dinner and other extended family are coming early evening for dessert after their dinner somewhere else. The only people eating dinner with us are our parents and siblings. Maybe that can be an option.
Also I have learned to speak up and say when I want my dd with a lot of family around. They all say oh if course you are the mom. Just tell people that you are so excited for your first Christmas with LO and so you will be a little more clingy than usual . Most importantly do what makes your family happy. Don't miss out on this special time with LO to make other people happy.

Sigir · December 2012

AliciaS1411:
Who are you?

Great job welcoming a new board member, "mod". Showing your true colors of b!tchiness a little, aren't you? Don't forget, you are in the process of trying to reform your perception on the board, so you usually hide your tendencies to be a bully and pretend that you don't like to encourage ganging up on people. Better luck next time!

OP, have you expressed to your dh how concerned you are about this? You say he is on board, but does he know how worried you are? Personally I am a go with the flow kind of person, so the addition of more people would not really bother me, but if it bothers you your dh should talk to his family.

stepper1725 · December 2012

Sigir:
AliciaS1411:
Who are you?
Great job welcoming a new board member, "mod". Showing your true colors of b!tchiness a little, aren't you? Don't forget, you are in the process of trying to reform your perception on the board, so you usually hide your tendencies to be a bully and pretend that you don't like to encourage ganging up on people. Better luck next time! OP, have you expressed to your dh how concerned you are about this? You say he is on board, but does he know how worried you are? Personally I am a go with the flow kind of person, so the addition of more people would not really bother me, but if it bothers you your dh should talk to his family.

Do you think it's even a little bit weird that a very first post to the bump contains no introduction & includes the word 'drama' in the title? And she hasn't been back to respond? Maybe I'm too quick to call MUD, but for the past few weeks there have been a few random posts like this.

Sigir · December 2012

stepper1725:
Sigir:
AliciaS1411:
Who are you?

Great job welcoming a new board member, "mod". Showing your true colors of b!tchiness a little, aren't you? Don't forget, you are in the process of trying to reform your perception on the board, so you usually hide your tendencies to be a bully and pretend that you don't like to encourage ganging up on people. Better luck next time!

OP, have you expressed to your dh how concerned you are about this? You say he is on board, but does he know how worried you are? Personally I am a go with the flow kind of person, so the addition of more people would not really bother me, but if it bothers you your dh should talk to his family.
Do you think it's even a little bit weird that a very first post to the bump contains no introduction & includes the word 'drama' in the title? And she hasn't been back to respond? Maybe I'm too quick to call MUD, but for the past few weeks there have been a few random posts like this.

Who cares? She's not posting "my mirena fell out and I gave my dh a BJ, am I pregnant?" She had a normal question with no stupidity or drama to it. If that is mud it's the saddest mud ever. So why not give her the benefit of the doubt?

And our mod's response was just classic and harkened back to the days of her and her sad sack pedophile marrying buddy ruling the school on this board. A good mod would phrase it something like this, "hey, welcome... Why don't you post an intro thread. We'd love to get to know you!" Especially if you are trying to increase board members. There was no need for the type of response she gave, bc the op's post was so super tame!

ETA on your other point, I honestly would not come back to post again, if the mod responded to my first post in that way.

stepper1725 · December 2012

Sigir:
Who cares?

touche

forestdancer · December 2012

stepper1725:
Sigir:
Who cares?
touche

Wow... this all really went down over a first time poster. GEEZ people. What happened to helping people and being kind. You have to jump right on someone just because they are new. Treat people how you want to be treated.

I think you should tell the MIL how you feel. If you don't talk with her now it will just get worse later in life.

Sigir · December 2012

That is my point exactly. :]
Op hopefully you come back and join us... All in all we are a v supportive group!

AliciaS1411 · December 2012

Sigir:
AliciaS1411:
Who are you?
Great job welcoming a new board member, "mod". Showing your true colors of b!tchiness a little, aren't you? Don't forget, you are in the process of trying to reform your perception on the board, so you usually hide your tendencies to be a bully and pretend that you don't like to encourage ganging up on people. Better luck next time! OP, have you expressed to your dh how concerned you are about this? You say he is on board, but does he know how worried you are? Personally I am a go with the flow kind of person, so the addition of more people would not really bother me, but if it bothers you your dh should talk to his family.

Sorry if I offended YOU, but all I said is exactly what I'd say in real life if someone I didn't know came up to me and started telling me their problems. *shrug*

and for what its worth- Just because I'm a mod doesn't mean I can't reply honestly to a thread. If I had cussed her out and called her MUD or something that would be different. But simply saying "who are you?" isn't exactly being b*tchy, its just asking a question. We've had quite an influx of fake posters lately, and since OP hasn't even logged back in since posting this, I'm assuming it was fake to.

cheshirekrazykat · December 2012

Post like this make me sad . I have a small house and the last 3 kitchen table chairs are literally on their last leg but I am hosting diner to 20+ and have 3 kids to take care of . People just lost loved ones in another shooting and Christmas is right around the corner . If you have a chance to spend time with family you should.

ashleybritton · December 2012

AliciaS1411:
Sigir:
AliciaS1411:
Who are you?
Great job welcoming a new board member, "mod". Showing your true colors of b!tchiness a little, aren't you? Don't forget, you are in the process of trying to reform your perception on the board, so you usually hide your tendencies to be a bully and pretend that you don't like to encourage ganging up on people. Better luck next time! OP, have you expressed to your dh how concerned you are about this? You say he is on board, but does he know how worried you are? Personally I am a go with the flow kind of person, so the addition of more people would not really bother me, but if it bothers you your dh should talk to his family.
Sorry if I offended YOU, but all I said is exactly what I'd say in real life if someone I didn't know came up to me and started telling me their problems. *shrug*
and for what its worth- Just because I'm a mod doesn't mean I can't reply honestly to a thread. If I had cussed her out and called her MUD or something that would be different. But simply saying "who are you?" isn't exactly being b*tchy, its just asking a question. We've had quite an influx of fake posters lately, and since OP hasn't even logged back in since posting this, I'm assuming it was fake to.

But it's not real life. It's the Internet and none of us control it. Why does she have to introduce herself?

AliciaS1411 · December 2012

ashleybritton:
AliciaS1411:
Sigir:
AliciaS1411:
Who are you?
Great job welcoming a new board member, "mod". Showing your true colors of b!tchiness a little, aren't you? Don't forget, you are in the process of trying to reform your perception on the board, so you usually hide your tendencies to be a bully and pretend that you don't like to encourage ganging up on people. Better luck next time! OP, have you expressed to your dh how concerned you are about this? You say he is on board, but does he know how worried you are? Personally I am a go with the flow kind of person, so the addition of more people would not really bother me, but if it bothers you your dh should talk to his family.
Sorry if I offended YOU, but all I said is exactly what I'd say in real life if someone I didn't know came up to me and started telling me their problems. *shrug*
and for what its worth- Just because I'm a mod doesn't mean I can't reply honestly to a thread. If I had cussed her out and called her MUD or something that would be different. But simply saying "who are you?" isn't exactly being b*tchy, its just asking a question. We've had quite an influx of fake posters lately, and since OP hasn't even logged back in since posting this, I'm assuming it was fake to.
But it's not real life. It's the Internet and none of us control it. Why does she have to introduce herself?

I don't know, common courtesy?

ashleybritton · December 2012

AliciaS1411:
ashleybritton:
AliciaS1411:
Sigir:
AliciaS1411:
Who are you?
Great job welcoming a new board member, "mod". Showing your true colors of b!tchiness a little, aren't you? Don't forget, you are in the process of trying to reform your perception on the board, so you usually hide your tendencies to be a bully and pretend that you don't like to encourage ganging up on people. Better luck next time! OP, have you expressed to your dh how concerned you are about this? You say he is on board, but does he know how worried you are? Personally I am a go with the flow kind of person, so the addition of more people would not really bother me, but if it bothers you your dh should talk to his family.
Sorry if I offended YOU, but all I said is exactly what I'd say in real life if someone I didn't know came up to me and started telling me their problems. *shrug*
and for what its worth- Just because I'm a mod doesn't mean I can't reply honestly to a thread. If I had cussed her out and called her MUD or something that would be different. But simply saying "who are you?" isn't exactly being b*tchy, its just asking a question. We've had quite an influx of fake posters lately, and since OP hasn't even logged back in since posting this, I'm assuming it was fake to.
But it's not real life. It's the Internet and none of us control it. Why does she have to introduce herself?

I don't know, common courtesy?

Meh. That seems silly. I don't get the double standard of people on the bump holding on to these Internet etiquette standards, but then also acting disgraceful and claiming that it's okay because it's the Internet. To each there own though. (don't read into that statement, I'm not referring to anyone in particular - just people on the bump in general)

melcass · December 2012

Common courtesy, wouldn't that be along the lines of "welcome to the board, instead of a blunt who are you?" I don't post much on here....mostly lurk but I think this could have been handled in a much more welcoming way....and like someone said, if it is MUD so what? No skin off your back

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