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New to the bump and needing a little blended family advice

CTbbPCTbbP member
in Blended Families

Hi all,

I am new back to the boards. I have two wonderful little boys who are 8 and 5 from my first marriage and my wonderful DH and I have been married for a little over a year and a half now.  We have been talking about TTC and I am so excited.  I would love to add a new bundle of joy to our family.  However, my sweet DH is so very very nervous.  He wants a baby but he is actually, I think, TERRIFIED of actually doing the deed and thinking this may really happen.  He wants it to happen but is just scared. Does that make sense at all? This will be his first so he has all of the natural first time parent anxieties.  I wish there was a way I could calm his fears some and encourage him. Did any of you have the same issues?

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Re: New to the bump and needing a little blended family advice

  • Karma1969Karma1969 member
    Are you asking if it's normal for someone to get nervous prior to having their  first child?  Really?
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  • CTbbPCTbbP member

    By no means am I asking that.  There are definite fears with having any child whether it is your first or tenth. I was just asking if there were any other moms already with a new blended family who is TTC that DH (who would be having his 1st child) was so nervous and how that was overcome.

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  • HisChamaoleGirlHisChamaoleGirl member
    imageCTbbP:

    By no means am I asking that.  There are definite fears with having any child whether it is your first or tenth. I was just asking if there were any other moms already with a new blended family who is TTC that DH (who would be having his 1st child) was so nervous and how that was overcome.

    To answer your question, no DH isnt terrified of the ttc process or being a dad to a new baby bc we have talked about expanding our family. He has been ready longer than I have and was excited when a year ago I told him I too was ready. This is a decision we made together. Perhaps your DH isnt ready? 

    BFP #1 11/07/2012 EDD 07/09/2013 M/C 11/22/2012

    BFP #2 02/05/2013 EDD 09/19/2013 Arrived via c-section 09/27/2013

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  • MarSamWhitneyMarSamWhitney member

    I would just make sure you DH is 100% on board with having a new baby.  It can be very overwhelming, and maybe his fears are apprehension.   If you are sure he is totally ready, just let him know that you have been through this twice and you will be able to walk him through every new little thing with ease. Good luck!



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  • FutureMrsWittigFutureMrsWittig member

    My H was worried how having a new baby would affect his DD (my SD), how it would affect my relationship with her and his, lots of things.

    Can you guys see a therapist for a few sessions?  Generally that will help flush out exactly what fears he has and why.  And it might help you guys decide if you're ready now or want to wait awhile.  He may want a baby, but not yet.  He may just be concerned about finances, physical space in the home, how he will feel about your sons and how they will feel about him with a new baby, or any number of things.

    Mama of 2: one who grew in my womb, both who grow in my heart.
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