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Attachment Parenting
gusabbey
member
newbie needs help! (long)
gusabbey
member
Hello all! This is my first post to this board, however, I am a veteran on my BMB! I'm reaching out to you for some advice. DS#2 is 6 weeks old. I had planned to BF, bought an arms reach mini co-sleeper, and the baby bjorn. These were my plans, not because I was interested in AP, but because it seemed most practical. I learned a lot with DS#1.
Now that DS#2 is here though, things are going a little different than planned. He is a great baby...but our close attachment is starting to worry me. He nurses ALL the time. He generally wont let me do anything unless I am holding him. I bought a Moby so I could still do things around the house, particularly with my 3 year old. And we bed share. I hadnt planned to do this, but he just wont sleep unless hes next to me, and I cant sleep unless hes next to me.
Don't get me wrong, I love this. I couldnt be happier having my little guy with me at all times, but I'm starting to worry. I have gone to the gym 5 times since he's been born, and each time I come back, and DH is stressed, and the baby is crying. It's like I'm the only one he wants (great for me! bad for baby and daddy). My real concern however is, I will be going back to work in March and am very worried about his well-being at daycare 
The thought of DC is already making me cry
Do you think that once hes a little older, this will become less of a problem, or am I encouraging his dependence on me? Any advice or opinions are welcome!
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Re: newbie needs help! (long)
I think this sounds like pretty normal 6-week-old behavior. He's still learning that he isn't actually part of mommy...and having spent the majority of his existence snuggled inside you, you are his preferred snuggler!
It will get better. My DS has always preferred me as a caregiver, and he has been fussy for DH and our sitter in the past. DS is very secure in my love, though. Our nursing, baby wearing, bed sharing, attached relationship has been such a blessing. I encourage you to keep it up and to consider his dependence a normal part of his development. DC will be ok. He will adjust to his caregivers and be super thrilled to see you and reconnect after work.
As for the house, I wore DS to clean and get things done. When he was old enough to be interested in the toys on his bouncy chair, he also spent a few minutes here and there in it while I did some chores. The older DS gets, the more independent he is.
Hes nearly sttn already, and when he does, i plan to transition to the cosleeper. But thats all i got! Are there any good AP resources out there that i could get some pointers from?
Again, thank you so much! I will say, caring for baby in this close way is so much more enjoyable than how we cared for our first. It just seems like it flows perfectly!
I have loved Dr. Sears' books, The NoCry Sleep Solution, and the articles on Attachment Parenting International's website. La Leche League also has a great reading list.