For those of you NOT breastfeeding...

irishsmiles428 · December 2012

Why did you decide not to ? Im thinking of going to formula exclusively but Im having MAJOR guilt about it. My dr wants me to stay with pumping, but honestly I dont want to.

Please dont judge.. just looking for people in the same boat.

angielayne926 · December 2012

No judging...I'm FFing and have been from day one. It was a personal choice made by DH and I. I've seen too many people stress themselves out to the point of daily tears to try to EBF. I wanted to make sure that my time off work was spent bonding with LO and getting into a routine before going back to work and daycare for L.

Another reason, and this may sound silly, but my boobs are a big part of time with DH. He was worried that if I was BFing, then that would be taken away. I knew that sex after baby would be a change from before as it was and I didn't want to add another issue in there.

I also wanted DH to be able to help out with feedings and FFing allows him to do so. He can make the bottle without relying on me to provide the milk for it. I'm not on a timetable to get home to pump or nurse so if I need a day/evening out, DH can provide for L without me.

Hope that helps!

msm261 · December 2012

I am not being snarky, but I didn't breastfeed b/c I didn't want to. Plain and simple. I love that my body belongs to me and that feeding DS is easy. I also like having a schedule and FF allowed that (I feed every four hours during the day and DS2 responded well to the schedule). Plus other people can feed DS.

I also think pumping is the hardest way to feed a baby. I feel like a main reason to BF (obvi besides the health benefits) is the fact that you can do it anywhere/anytime. When you pump, you have to collect the milk, store it, and somehow get it to an appropriate temperature when it is time to feed. Then you have to clean all that shiit. Ain't nobody got time for that Stick out tongue

But seriously I give those who EP tons of credit! It seems like a huge sacrifice on mom's part. I don't blame you for wanting to formula feed.

lanea8712 · December 2012

angielayne926:
No judging...I'm FFing and have been from day one. It was a personal choice made by DH and I. I've seen too many people stress themselves out to the point of daily tears to try to EBF. I wanted to make sure that my time off work was spent bonding with LO and getting into a routine before going back to work and daycare for L.
Another reason, and this may sound silly, but my boobs are a big part of time with DH. He was worried that if I was BFing, then that would be taken away. I knew that sex after baby would be a change from before as it was and I didn't want to add another issue in there.
I also wanted DH to be able to help out with feedings and FFing allows him to do so. He can make the bottle without relying on me to provide the milk for it. I'm not on a timetable to get home to pump or nurse so if I need a day/evening out, DH can provide for L without me.
Hope that helps!

agreed completely. Could have wrote it myself!! Aside from going back to work I'm a Sahm.

Forget what the dr wants you to do IMO. Your the one who is doing the work and raising your child. FF babies do just fine. No sin in giving them formula. They push BF hard but in the end it's your choice!

Shema N · December 2012

I have had a very hard time with BF - my supply does not match LO?s demand.

I did start pumping but can?t seem to pump enough but I?d been obsessed with it. That?s until DH pointed out that all the time I spend ?hooked up to that machine? are precious moments I?ll never get back with LO. That?s what convinced me that I need to start considering formula.

It is hard though. I also feel incredibly guilty. And I have family that?s pressured me a great deal to EBF. I?m not sure how I?ll deal with them since everyone will be together/around during the holidays...

It's so nice to have a safe space to share/listen to others experiences and know I'm not alone in this.

candaceleigh21 · December 2012

I EBF for about the first month and we were both miserable. He never got enough no matter what supplements I took. Once he started formula, LO became such a happier baby. He actually started sleeping well (so did I) and we were just happier all the way around. I knew it was time to switch completely when I had him on each breast for 30 minutes and he SCREAMED until I gave him a bottle and he still took a 3 oz bottle afterwards. LO is good and healthy and is the perfect weight so my pedi has no issues with him being on formula.

BLuvsE · December 2012

Given the choice between ep and ff, I'd do formula. Luckily bfing hasn't been too difficult for me so far...knock on wood. But I agree with pp's. A big reason for bfing is the bonding. I think bonding with my child is more important than whatever nutritional benefits he'd get from me pumping.

BPer · December 2012

LO was just a really lazy nurser from the get-go. She'd nurse for 5 minutes, fall asleep, nurse for 5 minutes, and repeat. We switched exclusively to FF at 2 weeks. I felt guilty, but H loves being able to feed her, and I definitely appreciate having a reprieve.

Also like PP said, we have a schedule. DD eats at 8am, 12pm, 4pm, & 8pm, and then she STTN.

I fully commend anyone who can see it through, it just wasn't for us.

irishsmiles428 · December 2012

You girls are great! Thank you all!

Organizedbride@yahoo.com · December 2012

After DS was born, he didn't want to latch for anything. I tried all sides and positions. I was getting really scared that he hadn't ate. He went almost 2 days without eating and I kept telling the nurse I wanted to give him formula and they kept telling me just to wait it out, but I made the decision to give him formula. Before I had him I wasn't to keen of breastfeeding. It sounds weird and may be a bit personal but I always associated breasts with sex and didn't feel right having my son feed off of them. But as many moms would say, it is different when your feeding your child from them so I gave it a shot and it just wasn't for me. It is way too stressful and I am a visual person and wanted to SEE how much my son would eat. Don't feel guilty, formula is getting closer and closer to breast milk and has extra vitamin D in it rather than if you did breastfeed you would have to give baby vitamin D supplements. I have learned not to listen to everyone's opinions about why I am not breastfeeding. Feeding your baby is suppose to be a bonding experience and if your stressing about it or know that your not enjoying it, then it ruins the bonding experience.

rpt06 · December 2012

I ff both of my kids, just didn't have any desire to try breastfeeding. It's a personal choice.

CatO · December 2012

I wanted to reply because I can understand the guilt you are feeling. I FF my first two DD. But it wasn't easy getting there.

With my first, I started out breastfeeding. It did not go well. She had a tongue tie and wasn't diagnosed and treated until 3 weeks. During that time, I had terrible cuts and holes. It was awful. I would cry in anticipation of her waking up and wanting to eat every single time because of the pain. And then after feeding her through incredible pain and tears, I would sit and pump and not be able to hold and cuddle her. Finally my mom, who BF me and my sisters stepped in and told me it wouldn't be the end of the world if I FF fed her and that the stress was ruining time I should be bonding with the baby. That maybe FF would better for my relationship with my baby. I decided to switch, but I still had so much guilt that I was not giving my baby the best. After making the switch, it was sooooooo much better. The stress left and the bonding with my baby got much better. It was like a weight was lifted off my shoulders. She is almost four now and thriving.

With my second, she ended up in the NICU right after birth and the nurses gave her formula right off the bat. I started BF again, but I couldn't keep up with her demand. So I nursed her and supplemented with formula. Eventually I dried out and she was EFF. This time around I knew that she was going to be ok on formula and had a little less guilt.

With my third DD now I am EBF. I have to say, I enjoy FF my babies much better than BF, but I wanted to give it one last effort. It may be the lingering issues from trying to BF my first two, but I just don't enjoy it and am stressed and frustrated by it.

This is extremely long winded, but I just wanted to let you know that no matter what your story is when you decide what is best for you and your baby, you will know right away that it was the right decision because you will not be stressed out and things will fall into place. The guilt will also melt away when you realize that your baby will be just fine on formula. Be proud of yourself for making the right decision for your family. GL!

CurlyQ284 · December 2012

I BF for 15 minutes on each side and then supplement t with formula because if supply issues. Its nice, I feellike we have the best of both. DS is getting the benefits of BM but feedings are every 4 hours and DH can give him the bottle. No judging here if you want to EFF, just providing another perspective. Good luck!

byrne15 · December 2012

I BF'ed for 4 weeks.

It was difficult all along the way (latch issues and over supply). DS was screaming non stop ...all day long. Anyway, long story short....ds has a milk protein allergy, I tried to go dairy/soy/whey free and it lasted 2 days. I decided there that ds was better off on the special formula. I pumped down until my milk was gone and then donated it.

I felt horrible for a few weeks after quiting, but now have no regrets.

Cst2CstBride · December 2012

Because dd was a micro preemie she still has to have concentrated neosure 3 times a day for growth. The drs wanted her using her energy to grow rather than feed, so she was limited to bf 2x a day and bottle feeding the rest. She quickly learned that the bottle was easier and started refusing to bf. when I pushed bf, she would poop out and not finish her next feed which delayed her discharge, so I stopped bf in the NICU and never got her to bf.

I'm still pumping for her non formula feeds and I hate every single second of it. If she weren't a preemie, it wasn't cold/flu/RSV/pertussis season, and if I didn't feel guilty about my body failing her I'd quit in a heartbeat. I wouldn't still be pumping if I had a healthy term baby.

Shema N · December 2012

Cst2CstBride:
If she weren't a preemie, it wasn't cold/flu/RSV/pertussis season, and if I didn't feel guilty about my body failing her I'd quit in a heartbeat. I wouldn't still be pumping if I had a healthy term baby.

If it makes you feel any better I have a term baby and the only thing that?s prevented me from ending the torturous pumping sessions is my concern about cold/flu season. I have another school going child who brings home all sorts of germs...

Although I have also read that the immunological properties of breast milk are overstated. I honestly don?t know what to believe anymore...

ac1259 · December 2012

I wound up supplementing with formula from like day 2. I was pumping from the start because LO just wouldn't latch and I spent 2 miserable days in the hospital trying to force her to BF with a lactation consultant and an RN every time she fed...took like an hour each time of her screaming and barely ever got her latched. Turned out she was tongue tied and the doctor wouldn't fix it until she got out of the hospital. This was complicated by her being jaundiced and staying in the hospital extra, by then I was supplementing more just to make sure we could get the bilirubin out of her system. At home I pumped for 3 weeks and she barely got 1 full feeding a day of breastmilk and never really latched even after having the tongue tie cut...She wanted her food quickly and BF didn't do that for her. So I chose to stop pumping and just use formula because it made her happier and my supply just wasn't enough to keep up with her AT ALL...I seriously had no engorgement or leaking and dried up with no issues just stopped pumping and was dry within like a week. My LO is growing well and not really having any issues and I feel good for the time she did get some BM. But even my doctor said that what matters most is what works best for us and my doctor is a really big BF enthusiast. I had a lot of guilt in giving up pumping but it has worked out best for us so far. Good luck in making your decision!

xiheatherix · December 2012

I can relate completely to you!! I started to breastfeed and was very stressfull because I was not supplying enough to my little one and then I was pumping and your DH couldn't have said it better!! I was wasting valuable time with my LO..

I then started pumping and supplementing which was a lot as well and stressful again! I was pressured a little from DH family to EBF and to be honest it is ultimately your decision and life.. It was hard to tell them because I was worried about their responses but they actually understood or didn't have to say anything back.. It was stressing me out and I have a lot on my plate as it is

I have been giving formula for past 2 weeks and I am so relieved.. baby is doing well not as fussy and MOM is happy and rested.. I am much happier and I can see the baby and my DH happier it is so much better to spend these precious days and milestones with your LO Happy!!

AbsolutelyAyrianna · December 2012

I was in your position as well.

I still guilt myself. But my babe has bad AR and the breast milk just wasn't heavy enough, along with I wasn't eating right (more like couldn't). So I was never sure that she was getting enough (she would act starving 30 minutes later)

I hate that I didn't keep breastfeeding, but I have to do what was best for me and baby and breastfeeding was just not cutting it, she was miserable as was I.

No one should be judging you, it's your own personal choice. Really so assholes who have never done it. If you feel the need to switch over to formula go ahead and do it. (:

Want a personalized experience?

For those of you NOT breastfeeding...

Re: For those of you NOT breastfeeding...

Choose Another Board

Search Boards