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Question for other non-carriers (past and present)

only1leiaonly1leia member
in LGBT Parenting

Until yesterday, DP wasn't feeling the hormones very much, but last night she got mad at me for not reminding her to eat when she's hungry.  I had to take a minute, walk away, and come back and tell her that she should be responsible for snacking so she doesn't get so hungry.  It wasn't a big deal, and I know it was hormones so I wasn't really mad, but I did feel kind of overly emotional after that. 

Then today, at work, my boss (not my immediate boss, but the next level) tells me I have to go on a shoot (I work at a TV station guys, not shooting with guns) which I don't really know how to work the camera and tripod very well, plus had no idea what the event was about, or what kind of interview I needed.  So after I got there and spent 20 minutes trying to get the camera on the tripod/the tripod not to move, I had to go in the bathroom and cry for about 10 minutes. 

Anyone else have this type of experience while their partner was pregnant?

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Re: Question for other non-carriers (past and present)

  • LolaBelle515LolaBelle515 member

    I'm not sure if you're asking if others have the experience of their partner being hormonal while pregnant or if others have the experience of being hormonal themselves...but as a non-carrier, in my experience:

     The hormones will come and go throughout pregnancy and, often, can be even stronger after pregnancy and throughout breast feeding, if your partner chooses to breast feed.  It was really important for me, as the non-carrier, to find a way to come to peace with these hormones and remember that some of the things that my wife said were not actually "her" speaking. It's the hormones talking.  It made my life easier to know that.  My wife would often say later that she knew what she was saying was unfair, she just felt that she had absolutely no control in the moment.  Know that your partner doesn't want to be taken over by the hormones, but it happens during such an incredible change.

     

    As for "partner symptoms," I think they are entirely possible and real.  I definitely cried more (happy and sad tears) during my wife's pregnancy.  I didn't get angry, but instead would cry at the littlest things...so I imagine it's entirely possible.   You are going through something huge as well, so whether the response is physical or emotional, it makes sense that your reactions to things would change.

    As for another physical change, my cycle changed completely while my wife was pregnant.  I figure, if that can happen, so can other symptoms!


    I hope tomorrow is a better day for you!  

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  • mmy101mmy101
    I don't have any experience with baby hormones, but I have been known to cry over trying to set up a stinkin' tripod! Of course it is 100xs worse when you on site and frustrated as it is! (I've gone through a few tv production classes in school.)
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  • leapgirl8leapgirl8 member
    Jen is small and we knew she needed to gain fast to give the twins a good chance of staying in there and being a decent size when they came out. I just pretty much took over the food - I spent tons of time shopping and cooking for the first half of the pregnancy. She never wanted to eat the same thing twice, liked totally different food than normal, would go from stuffed to ravenous in five minutes - it was challenging. I just took it on as my responsibility, and that made it easier for both of us. I don't think either of us was unusually emotional - she was just exhausted and hungry most of the time for the first trimester, then somewhat better second tri, then huge and uncomfortable for the third tri. It was more about helping her with her physical needs than anything else. 
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  • AmandaG47AmandaG47 member

    I think I can relate, and I'm really glad you posted this.  I believe J and your DP are really close gestationally, and she is just starting to really feel pretty strong symptoms, one of the strongest being moodiness.  I am feeling way more sensitive and emotional lately as well... which might just be PMS but feels related to the pregnancy. Just yesterday I broke down when J snapped at me for something she has spent a long time telling me I should do!  It was related to the baby and I just completely broke down and cried in her lap for awhile.  She apologized and we both recognize it's the hormones, which helps a lot and we talk about it once she is on what I call an "up-swing."


    My name is A, I am wife to J.  After 7 months of ttc and one MC, we are expecting two baby girls in 2014!


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  • only1leiaonly1leia member

    Thanks for everyone's insights!!  Glad I'm not crazy, and if it's this bad already ... I hope it doesn't get too much worse.  I just thought with period cycles syncing up with other women, I wonder if pregnancy hormones affect other women, too. 

    So far, we have been pretty open in discussions, and she hasn't gotten super hormonal, just achy, tired, and having to eat more often and pee a lot.  Today was the first time she felt nauseous, but hasn't gotten sick. 

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