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February 2012 Moms
anythingelseplease
member
Would you bring the baby?
anythingelseplease
member
I was reading the post about whether or not the poster should be in her friends wedding and it got me thinking about my situation. My SIL is getting married in Mexico in June. LO will be 16 months old. I do not want to bring her to the wedding. My husband and SIL want her there. I don't have any issues with the traveling part, or the money she won't cost much extra. I just want to enjoy myself when I am there. I know that I will be the one sitting in the hotel room while she naps, and I will be the one who has to leave every night at 7 to put her to bed including the wedding. My husband won't wind up doing it because it is his sisters wedding and he will have to be involved. It is her only niece and SIL loves her so much and would really love her to be there, but it won't be much of a vacation for me if she is there. My husband says its not just a vacation its a wedding and she should be there. Am I being selfish? Would you bring her?
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Re: Would you bring the baby?
I think I would because it's a family wedding. If it was a friend's wedding, I wouldn't, but everyone else wants her to be there, too. My daughter was in my SIL and BIL wedding 5 days before her first birthday and was the hit of the party. We threw nap/bedtime to the wind for that one day and she literally danced until we all left around 11.
Could you make it clear with your H that for the days other than the actual wedding, he needs to share naptime duty? What about your inlaws? Would they want to sit inside and chill with a sleeping baby?
That actually reminds me. We went to Orlando this summer and just had the kids take naps by the pool under a canopy. They swam so hard, they just passed out for a few hours under the shade. I don't know how strict you are about nap/bedtimes, but you could try to get around it for a long weekend.
Okay, I went through this when Alexander was 6 weeks old. The Man's brother was getting married in Florida and I just didn't really want to bring a newborn to the sunshine state when it was still freezing here. Needless to say, we went. I woke up with Alexander 3 times a night. At the wedding (on a river boat) I stayed in the dining room while they all danced on the roof (too windy) and everyone wanted to hold the babe when he was happy but I did all the rest. Now, I did get a family member to watch him for two 6 hour periods so we could go to Universal Studios (I EP'd) and that was nice. The thing is I did get some relax time but I didn't get to stay by the pool all day. I didn't get to go shopping all hours of the day or sometimes I had to miss their fancy dinners. I was not invited to the Girl's night out the night before the wedding and spent a lot of time in the bathtub with Alexander and in our suite. The wedding was rough too because the beach was so windy Alexander was starving and noone helped me. The photographers took pictures of Alexander with others but had no idea who I was. I was shafted and stressed most of the week.
As for wheather you should bring babe? I would but make sure you plan a night off for just you. The stress of being the only one that cannot party is tough. THe judgement call comes down to you. She will be a little older and may handle a few hours passed her bed time better.
Not picking sides but think of your Husband. He probably just wants his whole family with him just like my man did without knowing how tough it is to be the number 1. I hope you figure it out. GL
My best friend got married in Mexico when L was 3 months old. My mom came with us and watched her while we enjoyed the festivities. This arrangement worked out well for us.
However, if L had been older and no longer breastfeeding, I would have left her at home with her grandparents. Even though my mom was there to help, I was still preoccupied with L's schedule and sleeping and eating. And I almost think I would be more preoccupied with a 16 mo old... At 3 mo, L was still pretty "go with the flow"... if she was hungry, I fed her; if she was sleepy, she fell asleep (noise and activity didn't really bother her). But a 16 mo old likely has a much more rigid schedule to which to adhere.
I say leave her at home and enjoy yourself!
Yeah, exactly!
ETA- I want to add that also your DH is a little incorrect about it "not being a vacation but a wedding" because you are paying for a vacation! If they were paying for your flights and hotel stay I would say, well you should maybe bring the baby if she wants you to because it's on her dime. But, it is expensive to go to a destination wedding so the only positive to attending one is to make a vacation out of it.
I agree with pp. If you can bring mom or a friend to watch LO while you get to enjoy your vacation, then I would say bring her. Otherwise, leave LO at home. It is not fair to you to pay to go to a vacation/wedding so SIL can have a wedding picture with her niece while you have to spend the majority of the time sitting in the hotel room with LO. Tell her to take a picture with her niece another time.
Truthfully, I'm sure wherever the wedding is being held is probably safe and Americanized and all that but I just wouldn't feel comfortable taking Munchkin to Mexico. I've been there myself and with the water and food issues, it's just not something I want to subject him to.