Infertility

OMG Grrrrr

I am over on the adoption board now, but I remember when I was always on this board and we used to talk about the comments that really annoyed us from people.  Well now that everyone is finding out about our decision to adopt I hear(every single time) "You know, I bet after you adopt you will get pregnant.  That happens to most people."

I want to scream at each person when they say this

"No I *** won't...I have stage 4 endo and I am now on birth control to help control it.  I can't get pregnant naturally, didn't get pregnant with IVF and now I am on *** BIRTH CONTROL!"  

Sorry, but i have heard this every time and I do not even know how to respond anymore.  I am not a friggin' movie.

7/18/12-1st RE appointment CD2 blood work taken. Told to move straight to IVF. Starting BC pills and FSH injections plus Lupron. Hopefully doing ET in September Off BCP March 2011 Started TTC July 2011 7 months TTC with no luck an then.... Diagnosed 2/24/12 with 2 Ovarian Cysts. 3/22/12-Lap to remove cysts, look for endo, and see if tubes are clear. 3/22/12-Diagnosed with Severe Endo(tubes are clear). 4/4/12-Post op OBGYN appointment. Told chances of conceiving naturally are very low, but told conceiving in the next few months is our best chance due to being cleaned out during Lap. Referred to a RE. RE said IVF is our only chance to get pregnant. Told only a 20% chance even with two put in. 9/5-Lupron 9/20 Stims(Menopur & Follistim) 9/30 Trigger time 10/2 ER 10/3 fert report-out of 7 eggs retrieved only 2 fertilized. Hello "Thing 1 and Thing 2!" Kinda sad there is none to freeze. Because only 2 we will have 2DT to get them back into a natural envionment 10/4 ET. Found out that only 1 divided. We love you "Thing 2." Thing 1 is now snuggled inside me and we are praying it will be our take home baby! **Did not even make it to my beta, the day before on 10/16/12 I got my F'in period** Such a stab in the heart. Nov 2012-Moving onto domestic newborn adoption! Can't wait for my take home baby. We will try IVF again after 1-2 years of a clear head. Need a break from infertility treatments/issues for my mental sanity! image

Re: OMG Grrrrr

  • Some people are senseless morons! Sorry
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  • Any ideas for good things to say back?
    7/18/12-1st RE appointment CD2 blood work taken. Told to move straight to IVF. Starting BC pills and FSH injections plus Lupron. Hopefully doing ET in September Off BCP March 2011 Started TTC July 2011 7 months TTC with no luck an then.... Diagnosed 2/24/12 with 2 Ovarian Cysts. 3/22/12-Lap to remove cysts, look for endo, and see if tubes are clear. 3/22/12-Diagnosed with Severe Endo(tubes are clear). 4/4/12-Post op OBGYN appointment. Told chances of conceiving naturally are very low, but told conceiving in the next few months is our best chance due to being cleaned out during Lap. Referred to a RE. RE said IVF is our only chance to get pregnant. Told only a 20% chance even with two put in. 9/5-Lupron 9/20 Stims(Menopur & Follistim) 9/30 Trigger time 10/2 ER 10/3 fert report-out of 7 eggs retrieved only 2 fertilized. Hello "Thing 1 and Thing 2!" Kinda sad there is none to freeze. Because only 2 we will have 2DT to get them back into a natural envionment 10/4 ET. Found out that only 1 divided. We love you "Thing 2." Thing 1 is now snuggled inside me and we are praying it will be our take home baby! **Did not even make it to my beta, the day before on 10/16/12 I got my F'in period** Such a stab in the heart. Nov 2012-Moving onto domestic newborn adoption! Can't wait for my take home baby. We will try IVF again after 1-2 years of a clear head. Need a break from infertility treatments/issues for my mental sanity! image
  • I have to have my ovaries removed so that is always my come back-- yeah, can't get pg without ovaries...  people just need to shut up.

    TTC #1 since 8/1/10; Me:41 and BRCA1+, DH:46
    DOR (FSH 24.3)/ terrible egg quality ; homozygous MTHFR c677t
    5 IUI's: 2/11 to 6/11 and 1/12= BFN
    OE IVF#1-4 8/11-6/12= all BFN
    DE IVF#1 11/12 bad embryos= BFN
    DE IVF #2 2/13 BFP/Beta hell: m/c 5w6d
    CFNBC 7 months, not doing well; decided on guarantee program at RBA w/frozen DE
    DE IVF #3 1/14  ET 4BB; BFP;M/C 5w1d, incomplete m/c; MVA extraction in ER 7w1d

    DE FET#1 ET 3/1714; BFP, beta 1 3/27= 197, beta 2 3/31= 1586, beta 3 4/7= 13879!!
    First u/s= Twins with HBs at 6w2d! We are Team Pink x 2!!

    K & K born 11/21/14 at 38wks 4 days

    imageimage

    SAIF/PAIF Welcome


    http://waitingforraintostop.wordpress.com

  • This is a maddening comment.  While I don't say anything, I *do* think of the problem in the following way...NERD ALERT....

    You have two variables, with two options for each.  You can adopt or not adopt, and you can get pregnant or not get pregnant.  This gives the following four outcomes:  adopt & get pregnant, adopt & not get pregnant, not adopt & not get pregnant, not adopt & get pregnant.  The first outcome is the only one that is noteworthy, so people focus on that, when the reality is that outcome has the lowest frequency.

    It is too complicated and nerdy to explain in the moment, but I always go through this in my head, while also thinking "shut up please just shut up."

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  • Possible comebacks:
    Well, isn't that just a Hallmark movie waiting to happen?

    Do you personally KNOW someone who has had stage 4 endo, failed IVF, adopted, AND got pregnant?

    Statistically speaking, do you KNOW how SLIM that chance is?

    To really freak someone out, say Could you imagine!? How on Earth would I decide which baby to keep??? Then walk away to let the comment sink in. Ha!!!

    And then you could always say, What a blessing that would be! I'd rather have my hands full than empty!
  • Some people are so stupid.  I have had about 3-4 people who I told that my tubes are messed up tell me to relax and they will fix themselves.  Thanks doc - let me put that $13,000 IVF money right back in my pocket.  a$$ holes. 
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  • That is really frustrating, I'm so sorry :(

    Since I have a pituitary issue and have to be constantly monitored, not even counting TTC, I always laugh when friends/family make comments like that. I usually come back and say if I could have gotten pregnant on my own then I'd have like 10 kids by now. Usually gets a few weird looks and shuts them up, LOL 

    Me: 33, Endocrine issues & FVL       DH: 32, Nothing 
    NTNP 2009-2012         TTC since 2012:
    • Clomid, 2 IUI cycles, and 5 IVF cycles = BFN
    • FET #1   August 2013 = BFP!     EDD 5/11/14
    • Jack dx at 19w1d with Dandy Walker on 12/16/13
    • Severe Pre-e /HELLP set in Jack born sleeping at 20w1d on 12/23/13
    • FET #2 --July 2014  BFP!  ---  EDD  4/5/15

    Jack has handpicked his sibling up there :)

    My blog about IF and loss ... Kate's IF Blog

            Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers 

                                                      

                                                                              Lilypie Pregnancy tickers


                  Anniversary





  • People are silly...and clueless!

    ~TTC#1 Since July 2011~ 
    Dx: Fibroids & Tubal Infertility
                                                        9/12 -IVF#1 =BFN; 5/14 -IVF#2=BFP:-) EDD 2.19.2015                                                

    S/PAIF Welcome 





    imageimageimage

    BabyFetus Ticker

  • imageLaineyPaney:
    Possible comebacks: Well, isn't that just a Hallmark movie waiting to happen? Do you personally KNOW someone who has had stage 4 endo, failed IVF, adopted, AND got pregnant? Statistically speaking, do you KNOW how SLIM that chance is? To really freak someone out, say Could you imagine!? How on Earth would I decide which baby to keep??? Then walk away to let the comment sink in. Ha!!! And then you could always say, What a blessing that would be! I'd rather have my hands full than empty!

    These are good ones!

    ((Hugs)) to you LiQueen! People are so clueless.


    ***signature & ticker warning***


    Me: 30 ~ Stage IV Endo ~ AMH .38 ~ AFC 8
    AMH .97 as of 4/2012! ~ AMH 1.63 as of 4/2013!?!

    Him: 29 ~ perfect swimmers

    Laparotomy w/partial oophorectomy 8/2009 to remove cysts/endo.
    Stopped BCP 4/2010.
    Multiple clomid rounds from 11/2010 to 6/2011. ~ All BFN
    IUI w/clomid 7/2011. IUI w/clomid & injectables 11/2011 & 1/2012. ~ All BFN

    IVF:EPP 5/2012 ~ (4R, 3M, 2F w/ICSI). Both embryos txfrd. ~ BFN
    BCP to manage endo from 10/2012 to 12/2012.
    FET w/donor embryos #1: 10/2013 Cancelled
    FET w/donor embryos #1.2: 11/2013
    ~ ET of 2 beautiful blasts on 11/27.
    Beta 1: 503(12dp5dt) Beta 2: 1035(14dpt) Beta 3: 3001(16dpt)
    Beta 4: 8503(19dpt)
    Twins with an EDD of 8/15/14! Team Purple
    G&B born 6/30/14 at 33w3d via emergency c/s.


    If you're wondering about my avatar...it's a fried pickle chip shaped like a fetus!


    image

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  • Infuriating!

    Possible responses for next time: "Really? You think I'll get pregnant? I guess I should stop smoking crack."

    "You know, getting pregnant while on birth control really would be a miracle. Maybe I'll be gestating the Antichrist! I did hear the world was supposed to end soon."

    "Adopt and then you'll get pregnant? That's sort of like telling someone that if they donate to charity, they'll win the lottery. They're kind of unrelated things, don't you think? And what kind of @sswipe donates to charity only so they can win the lottery?"

    And finally, my personal favorite: "Oh, shut the hell up."

  • imageScoop77:

    Infuriating!

    Possible responses for next time: "Really? You think I'll get pregnant? I guess I should stop smoking crack."

    "You know, getting pregnant while on birth control really would be a miracle. Maybe I'll be gestating the Antichrist! I did hear the world was supposed to end soon."

    "Adopt and then you'll get pregnant? That's sort of like telling someone that if they donate to charity, they'll win the lottery. They're kind of unrelated things, don't you think? And what kind of @sswipe donates to charity only so they can win the lottery?"

    And finally, my personal favorite: "Oh, shut the hell up."

    All of the responses were so good, but I can always count on Scoops replies to make me LOL. I'll have to figure out a way to work the smoking crack reply into my IF one liners... that's pure gold!

    TTC #1 since Oct 2009, Dx: Unexplained Infertility
    HSG: Right tube all clear, left tube inconclusive
    3 failed Clomid Cylces
    4/5 lap revealed blocked left tube, but right tube is open
    April/May- 50 mg Clomid + Ovidrel + IUI #1= CANCELLED left ovary ovulating
    June 1- 100 mg Clomid + Ovidrel + IUI #1 = BFN
    June 28- 100 mg Clomid + Ovidrel + IUI #2 =BFP!
    7/12 Beta #1= 14 Beta #2= >5 Chemical Pregnancy :(
    July-Nov long break to recover emotionally and financially
    Nov 24- 100 mg Clomid + Ovidrel + IUI #3= BFN
    Jan 22- Gonal-F + Ovidrel + IUI# 4 = CANCELLED no response on right
    IVF #1- Start stims 4/7, ER 4/20, 21R, 14F, 6 frosties, ET 4/25, 2 embryos transferred= BFN :(
    FET #1- June 2012, Lurpon starts 5/27- CANCELLED
    FET #1 take 2- August 2012, delayed until Sept-CANCELLED
    FET #1 take 3- ET 10/11, 2 embryos transferred,= BFFN
    FET #2- Transfer 12/4--Cancelled, no embies survived thaw :(
    Next steps-- IVF #2 with new RE in March
    HOLY SURPRISE BFP 2/15/13!!!! Beta 1- 286, Beta 2- 782, First Ultrasound 2/25- baby in uterus & all looks good!


    BabyFruit Ticker

  • I agree!! Very fustrating! Makes me not want to talk about it with people anymore! Especially with the adoption comments. Or since I just left and went to Hawaii everyone was saying things like Ohhhh get drunk and relax... It will happen in Hawaii!!! Really fu people! Lol hang in there and try to come up with something clever!!!
    Me 34 and DH 39 married in aug. 2002
    Did 5 round of clomid 2010 =BFN
     High levels of NK CELLS DX sept.2012 DOR:# 0.02 
    IVF #1 May 2012  ER 4, EF 2, ET 2 =BFN
    MINI IVF Oct.2012  Cancelled 10-27-12
    Ivf #3 Antagonist Protocol April 2013
    Shared cycle..Donor cycled in July Got 12 eggs 9 fertilized and 8 frozen!!
    DE FET #1 Sept. 3rd 2013 FIRST BFP EVER 5dp5dt
    miscarried Sept 24th at 5 weeks 5 days
    Etopic  D&C and hysterscopy Nov 5 2013
    dx with pre genetic blood clotting dec 2013
    FET #2 Jan 31st  2014 
    Miscarried for a second time again at 5 weeks 5 days
    Currently fostering to adopt an amazing little 1 year old boy..P.J!
    FET#3  is Oct 29th 2014
    BFN on fet #3
    Last and FINAL FET coming JAN 28th 2015
    Everyone Welcome






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