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Newbie with a Question

sep123sep123
in Blended Families

Hi all - I've been lurking for sometime and find your posts so helpful for a soon-to-be BF mom.  I'll be marrying a wonderful guy in June.  I have a 7 yo DD and he has two sons - 9 & 11.  I have my DD most of the time, but my fiance would like to attempt to get his sons more than he currently does - he has them EOW and two evenings for 3 hours each.  He hopes to file for 50-50 in the summer.  We are just wondering at our chances at being granted 50-50.  He's a very invovled father (attends ALL extra-curricular events, concerts, etc) and NEVER misses a visitation evening/weekend.  He's paid all CS on time.  We are buying a house in the spring in the boys' school district, so we will be close to BM.

I know each judge can be different, and we live in Michigan, but can we expect that a caring, involved father of two sons of that age be granted 50-50?   Or is it just a crapshoot?  He's been divorced about two years and has never been happy with the schedule he agreed to, but it seemed best and least disruptive for the children at the time.

Thanks in advance!

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Re: Newbie with a Question

  • MarSamWhitneyMarSamWhitney member
    If he has all his ducks in a row, I dont see why a judge would not allow him to have more time with a child.  Good luck!!


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  • cole2144cole2144 member
    I think that with your DH playing an active role in the kids` lives and moving closer to be near them, he should have a good shot. We just went to court for 50-50 after moving closer to be near SD and we won last week but my DH was never married to BM and they never had a CO to begin with. Good luck!
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  • FutureMrsWittigFutureMrsWittig member

    He's making all the right moves!  Good luck to you guys!

    Just make sure there's nothing in the current CO about you two living together before you're married ("morality clause") because that could make things sticky.  And a lot will depend on the judge.  But he's giving himself the best possible chance!

     

    Mama of 2: one who grew in my womb, both who grow in my heart.
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  • twister22twister22 member
    It sounds like you would have a decent chance. It does make it harder that he initially agreed to EOW and 2 dinner visits. I do believe the longer you have an agreement the harder it is to change (if the amount of time has stayed consistent), so filing sooner rather than later would be in your FI's best interest. I would file now because things will take awhile before a court date is set. Also, make sure he has been documenting everything.
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  • socloudy99socloudy99 member
    Just know what you want the 50/50 to look like before you file so you are proposing a plan that can be discussed. If instead of the two "dinner visitation" nights they are with you guys for those whole two days. So the week would be 2 days BM, 2 days BD, and switch every other Fri-Sun. For kids that age I also suggest changing to every other week during the summer vacation from school so both families can plan vacations and activities without adjusting the schedule. GL!
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  • sep123sep123
    Thanks for all the advice!  We are still living separately until married (I want to set a good example for my DD), so that won't be an issue.  We're hoping to propose a 2-2-3 system, but would be open to discussing with BM.  We aren't marrying until June, so we thought about filing then when we had the marital status AND the house.  Do we go ahead and file earlier, though?  We hadn't thought about that. 
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