Auri's natural birth

On November 30th, at 39 weeks and 1 day pregnant, I woke up around 6am with lots of pressure that made me feel like I needed to poop. I tried to use the bathroom but nothing happened so I decided to go ahead and get up and start unpacking. We had just moved into our apartment the day before so everything was still in boxes. I had my first contraction around 7am. I wasn't sure at first but it felt like a mild period cramp and lasted about 30 seconds. About 10 minutes later, I had another one. This continued rather consistently but wasn't terribly painful so I kept unpacking the kitchen. I'd stop when I had one because it felt better to move my hips or squat.

Around 8am, things got serious. I had a contraction that made me yell for my SO. It was much more intense and lasted a lot longer so it scared me. He jumped up and I told him that I'm definitely having contractions and they are really uncomfortable and that last one HURT! I went to lay down but that next painful contraction while laying down was awful so i got back up to walk. At this point we started timing them. They were coming 5 to 6 minutes apart already lasting around 45 seconds. I kept trying to unpack things and distract myself as I expected this to be the easy part!

I called my mom around 10am and she came over to help get some stuff unpacked as all the baby stuff was still in boxes and it looked like we'd need it here soon! Basically, I continued having regular contractions getting more intense all morning. I tried eating pizza but got a little sick when I'd start another one so I gave that up. Eventually, I'd have to go into my bedroom alone and lean against the wall to manage the pain. SO applied counter pressure which kind of helped but honestly I couldn't find a comfortable position I just kept moving and trying different things.

I already had a doctors appointment that day at 3pm so I was trying to decide if I should even go in or head to ld. SO called and the doc said come to the office. By now, contractions are 3ish minutes apart and well over a minute long. This had been going on for over an hour but I was totally breathing through them so nobody, including me, thought I was too far into labor. I got to the office and the doc asked me about my morning. I was able to tell him clearly and he said "this is not the face of active labor." Funny he said that because I just started another contraction and he felt my belly and heard me breathe and timed it and then his attitude changed! "Ok this is definitely active labor!" He said and proceeded to check my cervix and informed me that I was 4cm and 100. He asked me if i wanted to set up my epidural as I was far enough along but I declined. So off to the hospital we go!

Arriving at the hospital around 3:30pm, I refused a wheelchair. I hated sitting. In the quarter mile from doc office to the hospital I had 4 or 5 contractions and they are not near as manageable while sitting! It was starting to hurt more and I was getting a little scared because I was only 4cm. I wanted a natural birth but honestly I forgot that there was any other option. I just focused on one contraction at a time and made it through each one. The nurse had me lay down to monitor the baby and start an IV. Although I wanted to argue a little more about the IV as I was gbs negative, I was too focused on contractions to care. It took all of 15 minutes for me to tell that nurse I was standing up and it was impossible for me to continue laying down. She asked what I wanted for pain and I said nothing. She kind of had a "yeah right" attitude but I didn't really care I was in active labor and that took all my attention!

So around 4:30 or 5pm, the nurse decided to check my progress. I had finally got to the point of moaning and screaming ow ow ow!! It felt better to yell through the pain! The slow dance pelvic rock was the best thing fkr a while but around this time it wasn't doing much so I happily obliged to lay back in the bed to get checked. It was also around this time that I started getting delirious and all my memories are fuzzy. I remember telling the nurse to not tell me the number. But I could tell when she checked that my cervix was much wider. I could actually feel the outer edges of my cervix. So she said you sure you don't want to know? I caved and she told me 7 to 8cm! Holy cow! They paged the doc and started setting up the room for delivery.

To manage my pain, I was pretty much screaming when the contraction would peak and once it started going away, I would let out low controlled moans saying "oooowwwwwwwww" and it totally helped me focus. I also reminded myself this is positive pain, this is meaningful pain. The baby is coming out and it will be over soon. All women can do this. I was made to do this. I am doing this. My body is functioning properly. I never spoke these words out loud but I clearly remember the inner dialog in my fuzzy state of mind. I was also pulling SO and grabbing his sides. He ended up with nasty scratch marks but never complained! He was calm and would tone those low "ooowwww's" with me when I started screaming. I remember having tears in my eyes and what felt like a never ending contraction with multiple peaks and feeling his forehead on mine as his tears are rolling down my face and he says "you are incredible, you're doing phenomenal, she's almost here." in the most comforting tone. He was amazing.

So anyway, she checked me and I was 7 to 8cm, the doc comes in and asks one more time do I want the epi. I declined. Honestly don't know why because I was beyond the point of caring about natural birth. I just wanted it to stop. I had literally talked myself into believing there was not another the option! Also, at some point around this time, he asked if I'd like him to break my water. He said its the difference of having her out in 2 hours instead of 4. I said no thanks, I somehow declined any intervention.

I labored and toned and yelled and pulled and cried and I barely remember the next hour but I was not mentally present. I went somewhere else in my brain and let my body work. It wasn't too long before i felt this horribly intense sensation to push! But at the time, I swear it was poop, not baby. I kept telling them it feels like I have to poop but no one seemed concerned! The doc checked me and I was 10cm and said if you feel like pushing, go right ahead. I think I was laboring down because it took a little bit before I started to bear down and really get that urge to push out a baby and not poop! But when I did, it was strong. I said "I'm pushing, I'm pushinggg!" And just as I did, my water bag broke and exploded all over the place very dramatically. The pressure was almost instant. I'm so happy that I declined him breaking my water earlier. I had to push and I would scream but everyone was so high energy and saying not to scream to bear down! SO calmly in my ear told me to breathe deep and bear down. He gave me resistance while I was pulling his arms and it helped tremendously!

The doc came over and they set up stirrups. I never wanted to give birth laying on my back but there was no repositioning I didn't even think about it in the moment. I threw my legs up there and it really only took four good pushes until I could feel the dreaded ring of fire. I remember knowing that I was not going to be able to push hard enough to get her out. Just then I felt it, clear as day, SNIP! Episiotomy. Then, out popped her head! Then a little more push and out slid that warm slippery body! Instantly the pain was almost totally nonexistent. All I saw was this red butt in the air facing me and I could feel myself coming back into reality. They laid her on my chest and I just stared at her in shock.

And for those of you that are curious, when they went to get measurements and do her newborn stuff, I asked him when do I push out the placenta?! He said now! So with one good push it came out and it didn't hurt at all. Then he quickly numbed my poor snipped up hooha with a couple shots which actually weren't that bad. Just little stings. Then sewed it up as they put her back on my chest!

Auri was 6lbs 3oz and 18in long. Born at 6:37pm almost exactly 12 hours after my first contraction. Breastfeeding like a champ and the most beautiful newborn i have ever seen. She's perfect.