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Special Needs
butterflygrooves
member
Mom Therapy?
butterflygrooves
member
I've seen a few people on the board talk about being on meds and seeing a therapist so I'm going to out myself and ask some questions if you don't mind.
I was dx'd with major depression 7 years ago when life was simple, as DW and I have gone down the fost adopt road it has crept back up on me and left me struggling. I believe Owl may be showing the effects of Shaken Baby Syndrome and although her needs are manageable, DW isn't helpful with her, believing that Owl is just defiant and has no cognitive issues. I feel like I am carrying the weight of it all, the therapies, the social workers, the bio family visits, the hearings, the doctor visits, trying to make the other kids feel loved and included; it's a lot to handle by myself on top of these waves of depression. I know I need to be in therapy but it's a delicate balance of getting the help I need while having a DW who doesn't give me breaks and social workers who may see therapy and meds as me not being able to handle Owl's needs.
Our agency sw says I should be getting therapy through the county because Owl's needs qualify us for that extra help but our county sw might see it as me being too weak for Owl, causing her to find another home for the girls. I feel like I can't win.
At what point did you seek help for yourself? When did you determine that meds were a good option for you?
I was dx'd with major depression 7 years ago when life was simple, as DW and I have gone down the fost adopt road it has crept back up on me and left me struggling. I believe Owl may be showing the effects of Shaken Baby Syndrome and although her needs are manageable, DW isn't helpful with her, believing that Owl is just defiant and has no cognitive issues. I feel like I am carrying the weight of it all, the therapies, the social workers, the bio family visits, the hearings, the doctor visits, trying to make the other kids feel loved and included; it's a lot to handle by myself on top of these waves of depression. I know I need to be in therapy but it's a delicate balance of getting the help I need while having a DW who doesn't give me breaks and social workers who may see therapy and meds as me not being able to handle Owl's needs.
Our agency sw says I should be getting therapy through the county because Owl's needs qualify us for that extra help but our county sw might see it as me being too weak for Owl, causing her to find another home for the girls. I feel like I can't win.
At what point did you seek help for yourself? When did you determine that meds were a good option for you?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Mom Therapy?
The county sw isn't the greatest, she has put me through hell for the past 7 months, making me prove that Owl and I are bonded and that I have Owl's best interests at heart. She has pushed me to my breaking point and told many people that she knows I can parent Apple but she isn't sure that I can parent Owl. I'm afraid that if I ask for the help that I'm entitled to, she will see it as a sign of weakness and try to move the girls or prolong the case.
Two Mommies Healing Hearts
I knew meds were a good option for me when I just felt down, tired and angry all the time. We have been through a lot in the past 4.5 yrs - 6 mo old son passed away, adopted from Korea, adopted son diagnosed with FX, autism & ADHD, bio son diagnosed ADHD, DH diagnosed ADHD, on and on and on!
I started running this past Jan and life got better, I guess the endorphins really kicked in. DH told me I was a better wife and mom all around, and after I got over being ticked at him for saying that I knew he was right. However I had to stop running due to a foot issue and lost all the endorphin rush. I have been seeing a psychiatrist on and ff since Alex passed away and i finally went to her a few months ago and said asked for medication. She has always told me that as soon as I asked, she would write for me, and she was impressed I went this long.
Life is now good. I am happy, most of the time, and don't look at myself and think "You are a fat blob." I haven't actually lost any weight, but due to the excersise I do I haven't gained since starting, and that is huge.
So long way to say that you will lnow when it is time. It is a really personal thing, and I am a beter person for finally saying "I am done being strong."
Big giant hugs!!! I recognize you from another board that I frequent. I am not quite where you are, but I def know what it's like to be under the adoption microscope and worry about how your CW/SW will interpret different aspects of your parenting. Super stressful...as if you didn't already have enough on your plate sigh. I don't have any advice, but I know that I would feel the same way and have same fears if I were in your position.
Maybe try to xp on the adoption board if you havent already, and see if anyone there has dealt with this before? Good luck and I hope that things start looking up for you soon!